I am in tears. I know more about nutrition from school, weight watchers, and battling and researching my weight since I was a child, than most naturally thin people!

I have to vent and get some support. I think it's my decision and my life is crumbling apart after failed diet after failed diet. I'm 21 and tonight I counted and it took me thirty seconds to get out of the bathtub, and I feel back in once! Is this any of her business?

She says that because she is a nursing student (and me just a silly writing student who must not know ANYTHING about being healthy because I'm fat?) she knows how bad bariatric surgery is. She says it should be reserved for people much more dire in need than me. (My BMI is 40) She sat dow on my bed like she was my mother and said "I know you can do this, just stick to the weight watchers, ok? It's not healthy, those surgeries are so unhealthy, have complications and the weight just comes right back on."

I know she is wrong. I know she is ignorant. I know she just wants to help. But I am in tears. I couldn't bring myself to argue with her. She just made me feel so stupid and lazy. Anyone ever encountered this situation? Can I get some good juju? I don't want to go and talk to her (we are not friends) but I just want to feel a little better about my OWN decisions! I am not a child!

Seriously, tho'. I had some complications at the hospital from an anesthesiologist who didn't think I had sufficiently met all the requirements for surgery....he kept saying "It's only elective surgery..."

I'm just curious NanaRenan, what kind of complications? Did he actually refuse to anesthetize you? What other requirements did he think you needed? Thanks for sharing.

I was over40 BMI when I was banded. Now I am at 33% headed to 30! I would simply tell her that this is a personal decision. Yes, and when she is a nurse she may have to deal with Bariatric patients. I feel sorry for her that she is so misinformed. Go for it! Yes, to the bathtub Sister. Isn't it a bitch!

The magic word here is "STUDENT". She is obviously a student. A professional nurse would not have acted in such a manner. She's got a lot to learn in bedside manner. Sweetie, don't cry. It's your life, your body and your conscience. It's not up to her to make your decisions. Yes, she may be concerned, but she is NOT a doctor. Take the rude behavior as misguided concern and IGNORE it. She may be thinking you're having bypass surgery. Maybe she's not even educated on lapband. Many people are clueless about it. I was shocked at the level of ignorance. That includes folks in the medical professions. Stick to your guns and keep yourself informed and positive. Good luck.

GRRRRRRRRR!! Nursing students!! I am one too :smile: Actually, I have been in the medical field for 25+ years. Your friend is right...there are risks BUT are they greater than the risks we have every day for being overweight?? This is YOUR life and decision. I too have some issues with negative feedback from my best friend but she is scared about the surgery for me as I have a blood disorder. If you are BMI 40, you are seriously overweight, just like me. We have all tried diets, exercise, etc.,etc. but we all know we have failed. This is NOT a quick fix, but rather a tool to help us maintain our ability to reduce the amounts of food that we eat. i say, go for it girl!! Stay in touch....I think we both could use some support!!

A quick STFU and closing your door ought to do the trick. I would not and do not tolerate anyone telling me how to live my life...especially when it's unsolicited advice.

Ohhhhhh, I haven't even read all the replies yet but please, do tell her to come here and we can have a chat.

You know, an actual nurse to "student" kinda chat. Let's see what she actually knows about banding and WLS in general. Please tell her to bring her books for this one, she'll need them.

As a nurse, I can tell you that I really don't like the know-it-all-students. Haha. They have always annoyed me, even when I was in schooL!

Don't listen to you, because as everyone else has said, she is ignorant on Lap Band and was speaking from her own personal feelings, not any rational.

When I got my surgery I didn't tell ANY co-workers or family at all.. and very few friends. ANd really, I only told people that would be supportive - and even now, 9 months later, only a very few friends know about my band.

Look being banded isnt a easy way out for any of us. It is a life time commitment to eat less, eat our food different, drink different, and taking multivitamins the rest of our life no matter what. So I dont think any of this is easy, but we are willing to do it to be a healthier person. So I dont see anything wrong of thinking of yourself for once. So tell her she has not a clue what this is all about and to take a open session about this with others there and the dr. also, and ask how would her instructor like the way she approached you about your own business, then look her straight into her eyes and say I rest my case..... good luck on your surgery.

If she says anything else (as you said you didn't want to go back an talk to her about it) I would very sweetly ask "When is your class on bedside manner? Can we talk after that?"

Dont cry over ignorant people. She sounds like a jackass and your body, your weight, YOUR LIFE is none of her business. Keep your head up and your head clear, dear.

Hi,

I'm so sorry you went through that... I have not been banded yet I'm in the process of going through everything now... and I have a BMI of 40 too and I have also heard you really aren't that big to be getting it, are you sure you don't want to go back to WW, etc. and let me tell you I certainly feel big enough! I mean seriously how much more do my thights need to rub, how many rolls do I need over the top of my pants! LOL

Listen don't worry about it, you know what you want to do, you have researched it and you have so much support here on the boards... I wouldn't give it another thought... You know you will feel better, you know what you are capable of and you know what works for you... I don't care what her major is, she is not an expert! If I were you I wouldn't even let her know it bothered me... I would say nicely I thank you for thinking of me, but I will do what's best for me and I do not wish to discuss this further... and end it! What a b*tch! Don't let anyone make you cry! Don't give anyone that kind of satisfaction! We know how we feel and we know we have tried every diet known to man... probably at least twice!!! I say pick your head up, move on and be happy with your decision... from reading the boards it sounds like the best decision we can ever make for ourselves!

Best,

Shannon

This all sounds like something I went through a while ago. But I didn't know these people at all. I posted a forum on My space looking to have adult conversation with people who wanted to lose weight and needed some incoragement- like myself. In the first 5 hours I was called fat and lazy, the pics of my kids on my profile were made fun of and they all acted like they were doing me a favor. They claimed they new what I was going through but they did it the right way--they lost 30-35 pounds maybe. They were so mean and hateful. Finally a woman e mailed me directly and told me about this site. I have never been happier. I can't wait to get the surgery, and start living life again. Good luck and do what is best for you.

my bmi is 37... but it's just a number. my scale tells me i'm overweight. my mirrr tells me i'm overweight. shoot, my own mother told me i'm overweight. i think only thin people say "just diet". if it were THAT easy there would be NO fat people! keep coming here for support!

my bmi is 37... but it's just a number. my scale tells me i'm overweight. my mirrr tells me i'm overweight. shoot, my own mother told me i'm overweight. i think only thin people say "just diet". if it were THAT easy there would be NO fat people! keep coming here for support!

Sometimes it feels like naturally thin people believe we prefer a donut over thin. They just don't get it.

I'm a graduating medical student.

You wouldnt believe how many of my classmates say similar things.

usually i just ignore them and move on.

When you really really think about it, there ARE easier ways to lose weight than to go the surgical route. But if it were that easy for us, we wouldn't be on here right? We've probably exhausted other efforts a thousand times over. And you said it well, you know more about nutrition than your average thin person.

It amazes me that some peoople can be so narrow minded when it comes to weight issues. Do we deny gang members medical treatment for the gunshot wound to their ass, when really if they could just stay away from violent activities? What about that drug addict?? We never just flippantly tell them to stop doing drugs...their are treatment centers and rehabs designed for them. People feel sorry for anorexics and every night Inside edition is spotlighting another one of them.

But this sort of sympathy is just not extended towards very overweight people. I don't know why....

The magic word here is "STUDENT". She is obviously a student. A professional nurse would not have acted in such a manner. She's got a lot to learn in bedside manner. .

Her roommate seems to think that she was being kind and giving good advice.

Alot of people, professional or otherwise think similarly. It's unfortunate.