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Suzzzie.

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by Suzzzie.

  1. OK. I had surgery June 15, 2007. Yes, 4 years ago. And I weighed myself this morning, and I am 1 pound away from where I was the morning of my surgery. How did I let that happen? When I first found this forum, a couple months before my surgery, I would read stories from ppl who have had their band for a while but hadn't lost, or who had lost, but had since regained. I thought they were crazy, weak, STUPID - for going through a surgery and then not following through an what was needed to ensure long term weightloss and health. I am now one of those people. On June 15 2007 I weighed 382. Today I weigh 381. Within the first 10 months after my surgery I had lost 120 lbs, weighing in around 260. That was thinner than I was in high school. I looked great and was wearing a size 22. (Down from a size 30.) But then, right around the 11th month I started having horrible reflux. After 2 weeks of living on about 3-4 crackers and a few sips of water a day (because the pain when I'd swallow anything was HORRIBLE!) I finally went in for an unfill. It was my birthday. I felt immediate relief! One of my close friends was with me, and since it was my birthday, and I could finally eat (plus I could REALLY eat, cause I only had half the fluid left in my band) we went out for Italian food, and then ice cream. I had not had either of these in nearly a year. It felt WONDERFUL to be able to eat like old times. That was the best ice cream I'd ever tasted. Here is the deal with me. I'm a food addict. But not for 'food'... for SWEETS. Candies, cookies, cakes and pies - Oh My! Lol. I hadn't had ANY of these AT ALL in 11 months. And it literally took just that ONE ice cream to do me in. I became unraveled. I could suddenly relate to drug addicts and alcoholics, how just one slip up can do you in, and destroy everything you've worked so hard for. The weight didn't come back all at once. Its taken me 3 years to gain back that 120lbs. I guess thats something. At the time, initially, I was still exercising, and eating fairly healthy, except for the daily ice creams and other assorted sweets. Once I couldn't fit into my gym clothes anymore, I quit going. Then I started thinking "I've got to do something, I've got to get back on track. Tomorrow will be a new day!" But that proverbial 'tomorrow' never came. I've been back for fills, and unfills. I'm either so tight I can't eat and get reflux, or I'm too loose and can eat anything. My band doesn't let me eat fast, but I can eat more than I should - probably because I eat slow. If I go slow enough, I can eat an entire meal (large portions) in about an hour, sometimes 2. I rarely ever get full. And when I do get full (band signalling full) it doesn't last long and I will be stomach growling hungry again within an hour. I have a TON of bad habits with regular food. But sweets are still my addiction. Just this morning I had half a large bag of M&Ms for breakfast. Sweets fill me up emotionally, mentally, and physically in a way that nothing else can. I guess the benefit is that I know my downfall. I know when and where and how things went wrong. I even know HOW to fix it... but I do not think I am strong enough to do so. Downstairs, right now, I have 6 large bags of M&Ms (they were on sale...) and a huge glass vase full of other random mini chocolate bars. I cannot throw them out or give them away. I need them. It would be like asking a herion addict to just throw away her drugs! I need an intervention. All comments and suggestions are welcome. I know I need help.
  2. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Want To Be Thin - Glad you like my quote. Lol. I'm not sure where I got it, but its sooooo true! I just posted in the general forum, but I am now back up to 381. I believe I was 382 the day of my surgery. Starting this past January I was getting fills and going good, got down into the 350s...but that obviously didn't last long. I'm devastated. I just cna't seem to give up the sweets and laziness...
  3. Suzzzie.

    I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

    Rkimom - As far as the "stuck" episodes (of which I've had PLENTY!) are you chewing small bites really well? I know most of the time I get stuck its when I am eating too quickly. I'm either taking too big of bites, or just not chewing enough. Evaluate those things and find out why you are getting stuck so much. Is it a certain type of food that causes you the most problems (like breads) or is it all types?
  4. Suzzzie.

    I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

    Scoutmama - They learned that I had stretched my pouch because we did a barium swallow and it was evident. Lol. It was the first time since the day of surgery that they had me do the barium swallow, and he only did it cause it had been over 2 years since I had been in for a check up and according to my chart I had 8cc in my 10cc band and had yet gained back nearly 100 pounds and I could eat almost anything, usually with no problem. (Not alot of food, but obviously too much.) Anyway, so in doing the swallow I could clearly see my pouch was stretched, and when watching the Fluid go through the band it was going really slow. At that time we did a complete unfill to see how much fluid I actually had (6.5cc) and he gave me back 1cc at that time, otherwise I was pretty much completely unfilled for 3.5 weeks. When I went back in last week to see if my pouch was back down the way it was supposed to be (which it was) he gave me a 3.5cc fill (so I now have 4.5cc) and I can tell you that I have very minimal restriction. I've been writing down everything I eat for the past week and I try to get in Protein, fruits and veggies. I've been really trying to focus on, not only weightloss, but a nutritionally balanced diet. I've learned that when having an apple for a snack instead of a Snickers, I can eat alot more frequently. That is important to me because I am a "volume" eater. Trinity - I can barely eat any cereal (last I checked!) because it would get stuck and cause me alot of pain. I truly miss my Fruity Pebbles!! Lol. I think if you really can't give it up (I know how hard it is to give up something you enjoy! My thing is chocolate every afternoon!) maybe you can cut it down to 2x a day, in smaller portions?
  5. Suzzzie.

    I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

    Good for you for jumping back on the horse. I know I was so embarrassed to go back in for fill adjustments after I gained back the 100lbs I had lost! And then it was even worse cause my pouch was stretched out. As I said above, I was unfilled for 3 weeks to correct it and gained 8lbs in the process, so I really do hope that your "5day pouch test" works (I've never heard of this, btw, I wish I had!) I had also gotten rid of all my largest clothes as I was losing weight and as I started to regain I would slowly buy new, bigger clothes again...it is such a disappointment< but I only had myself to blame. I've been recommitted for 4 days now and its going fairly good. I get another fill in 3 weeks, and I'm excited about that cause I'm eating something (fruits, veggies) every 1-2 hrs between my small meals and am starving still! Lol! Best of luck to you!
  6. Suzzzie.

    I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

    Congrats to you for going through rehab and and doing what needed to be done to get you healthy and on the right track! I know it couldn't have been easy for you.
  7. Suzzzie.

    I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

    Hi everyone. I am so glad I found this thread!! I used to be a regular around here at LBT, but when I stopped losing and started gaining, I fell away. So here is my story. I was banded in June 2007 at around 380lbs. It was my 30th birthday present to myself. By May 2008 I weighed around 270. That is the thinnest I had been since I was in high school. Well, in the last week of April I started having a lot of indigestion. This went on for 3 weeks, and all I was eating was literally about 3-5 crackers a day and was good to get down a single bottle of Water a day, I was in so much pain. So on my birthday, May 12, I went in for an unfill. I think the ARNP took out like 2cc. And it was almost instant relief. AND, since it was my birthday I decided to get with friends and have some ice cream. Afterall, I hadn't really eaten in 3 weeks. Well, that was my total and complete UNDOING! A few weeks later I went back in and got 1cc fill. I had good restriction, but I wasn't as committed as I was before the whole unfill ordeal. I quit exercising and was eating all the wrong things. 2 1/2 years later: I have recommitted myself to my band. I went in for a check 4 weeks ago and learned that I had stretched my pouch. So the ARNP that does my fills unfilled me! I was devastated. For the past 4 weeks I had no restriction at all! I've had my band for 3 1/2 years, so that was quit a shock. I ate thinks like pizza, Pasta, burgers...things I haven't had in years. I gained 8 pounds. I am officially really close to my initial weight. I went back in yesterday (1/14) and my pouch was better so he gave me 3.5cc fill. I have restriction now, but its not super great, so I have to make good choices. I am 1000% re-dedicated to losing weight. I just wish I didn't have to gain it all back to get myself back on track! I am back to planning out healthy meals and Snacks. I am writing down every bite I take. I am back on Protein shakes. I *plan* on starting to exercise again. Lol.
  8. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Hi everyone. I notice we all kinda fell off this site. Just wanna post to share my journey so far. I was banded June 15, 2007. I was eating right and exercising and within 11 months had lost right at 100 pounds. Unfortunately, around that same time I was having horrible indigestion. I was literally living on sips of water and a couple crackers a day for about 2 weeks because everything burned my esophagus so badly. I broke down and got 1cc out of my band... which was my total downfall! I needed the unfill, no doubt about that, but imidiately after, when I felt better and could eat something without my throat flaming I went for ice cream (This was also on my birthday). So that was the slippery slope. I could eat again, without pain, and I ate all the wrong things. I was embarrassed to go back for a slight fill cause I had gained about 10 pounds in a month. That month turned into 2 1/2 years. That 10 pounds turned into 100 pounds. I gained back all but 8 pounds that I had lost. I went in for a fill today, because I did NOT get the band just to remain fat! The nurse practitioner (who is also a personal trainer!) did a barium swallow on me and learned that my pouch was enlarged. So, devastatingly, we took out all but 1cc of fluid. I go back in 3 weeks for another barium swallow to see if my pouch is all fixed, at that time I can start the fill process all over again. So, here I sit, with a wide open band... I have to tell you it is somewhat nice to have a break and be able to eat stuff I haven't had in 3 1/2 years. However, I'm TERRIFIED to live for 3 weeks without my band!! I am re-commiting myself to the lap band and am going to lose weight and keep it off this time.
  9. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    I'm doing so badly guys. All in all I've gained roughly 60 pounds from where I was this time last year. I'm glad to see that a few of you are succeeding! Keep it up!
  10. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Wow BigBaby!!! You look AMAZING!!
  11. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Lets see... I don't exercise hardly ever... I eat bad stuff. Lol. I KNOW what I'm doing wrong, I'm lacking the will power to do anything about it. It's getting better. I've lost 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. First loss I can report in the past 10 months!!! We'll see if I can keep it up.
  12. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Hey all. Just checking in. Still struggling. WILL IT NEVER END?!?! I'm up about 60 pounds from where I was this t ime last year. Very frustrating and disappointing.
  13. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    Lol!! I LOVE IT!!!!
  14. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    That is perfectly NORMAL. You are now an athlete. Most athletes have RHR much lower than non-athletes. And heavy people generally have a higher RHR because our hearts have to work harder to pump through all of the fat tissue that surrounds the lining of the heart. Fun huh? So CONGRATS. It's official that you ROCK!
  15. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    Lol. Hello there stranger. :confused:
  16. Suzzzie.

    Who Has Lost Over 100 Pounds?!?!

    Grr. If I could lose 170 I'd be right where I want to be. Lol. Congrats though, you have done an amazing job! And it's NOT easy, like so many people think it is either!
  17. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    That's so awesome! Congrats!
  18. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Hey all... Just thought I'd check in. Went back for another fill today. Got in the 1cc had taken out 2 months ago. I'm going to try reallllllly hard to recommit to my band this time! How is everyone else doing?
  19. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    I've not heard from Stef since she was here last... Maybe she'll pop back in someday.
  20. Suzzzie.

    Don't forget-come back

    I still check in. I've had no issues, other than eating crap and gaining some weight back. I'm just realizing that weight will be a lifetime issue... there is no cure.
  21. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Hey Rhonda! Yes, I'm getting a slight fill on March 3rd. I need it pretty badly. :tt2: I'm still not losing... bah!
  22. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    New Year, New You: Cycling Weight-Loss Stories Slide 1 : Bicycling Magazine.com Found that and thought of all ya'll skinny bycylers!
  23. Suzzzie.

    Has anyone taken up Bycyling?

    We were fairly warm here in KC yesterday. I think it was in the 60s. But cold sets back in today and i think we get snow next week.
  24. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    Beckie - I'm so sorry to hear that! Eeesh! Will you ever get another band, or are you just DONE with the whole thing! I really feel awful about what you've been through. Here I have a perfectly functioning band and I eat crap and gain weight. I feel like I'm failing the band, the hot surgeon, you guys, and myself. Whatever you choose to do now, I wish you the best!!! Janine - sorry to hear that you are stuck. I think, in general, the first year is either really good or really bad for bandsters... mine was good. Now I'm kinda sucking at it. I can eat food now, which I am so thankful for! But I still tend to choose junk foods. I've not had Pringles in a month or so, but I'm still relying on ice cream and cookie dough. I really think it's a total mental thing. I can eat real food and be full... and I wait about 20-30 mins and I"m after something sweet. I won't be hungry, and sometimes I'm still rather full, but I NEED something sweet. I think if I were a fruit eater it would help, but I just don't care for fruit. As a matter of fact, I was thinking earlier today about how I don't think I've had any fruits of veggies in a LONG time... at least 3 weeks... how sad is that? Not even one pea or kernal of corn. Maybe I need some sort of psycho therapy? lol. Hope everyone else is doing good. And where did Stefanie go to? She back for like, 2 days, and now she's gone.
  25. Suzzzie.

    June 2007 Bandsters

    And Dan.... CONGRATS! YOu look fabulous!!!!!!

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