Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Single - not banded yet

FireDust

By FireDust, in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

Recommended Posts

FireDust    0

FireDust
Posted

This is a great thread for me. I'm not banded (yet), but I hope to be on my way to that soon. I am dating someone right now, I'm 27, he's 38. I do not think he'll be supportive at all of my decision to have surgery - he's said many times that he thinks WLS is a bad thing. Also, he ONLY dates plus sized girls. That is part of my struggle in making this decision, but I know it's for MY health and MY future...

So for those of you who didn't have supportive partners, how did you deal with this?

And does anyone have any sons and brothers they want to send my way?:smile:

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

IndioGirl55    32

IndioGirl55
Posted

This is a great thread for me. I'm not banded (yet), but I hope to be on my way to that soon. I am dating someone right now, I'm 27, he's 38. I do not think he'll be supportive at all of my decision to have surgery - he's said many times that he thinks WLS is a bad thing. Also, he ONLY dates plus sized girls. That is part of my struggle in making this decision, but I know it's for MY health and MY future...

So for those of you who didn't have supportive partners, how did you deal with this?

And does anyone have any sons and brothers they want to send my way?:smile:

FireDust

This is primarily about your health not your appearance (but it's a nice secondary outcome of losing weight)

I am single - I did this for me to give me a chance to live a few more year - before anymore damage is done to my body by being FAT...

You are still young - you have a better chance of stopping the damage that is done to your body by being obese.

This is your decision - does your BF love you for you or just your body - does he want you to die young from a heart attack.. Do you want to decrease your lifespan for your BF or do you want to live the optimal life that can be yours with a healthier body...

Good Luck on your journey - only you can make this decision,...

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

hatmama    0

hatmama
Posted

Got rid of him. Your health and well being are important and if he's not behind you 100% you don't need him. Good luck.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

hopeinapril    1

hopeinapril
Posted

Hi Firedust:

I'd go for the surgery anyway. You need to do what you want. I have experience with guys who like chubbies. A lot of them just like large women. I stay away from them because I don't want to be a large women. I want to be a normal and healthy size.

I'm single and don't have a lot of support, but I am doing this for me. My ex (we have a child together) is very supportive as is my best friend.

Don't worry, see the thread about singles. It talks about being confident. That is SUCH a turn on for most guys.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

FireDust    0

FireDust
Posted

I know everyone is right. There have been many days lately where I've just wanted to walk away from him and say "see ya!". It's tough though, he really is a good guy. I just can't see him supporting me through this, I need a man who WILL support me 100%.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Daisalana    33

Daisalana
Posted

Well, if you really think he won't like you because you won't be plus size anymore.. time to get rid of him anyway. Never settle for someone who would leave you if you changed in XXX appearance :wub:

Ever see the talkshow of the model that was seriously burned on most of her body.. and while in the hospital her husband served her with divorce papers?

Gotta be with someone who likes you for you. Even if it's your smile, or your plus sizeness that got his attention in the first place, he should have grown to like you for who you are, and not only sticking around because of those things.

My husband thought I didn't need the surgery, that I could do it myself, but I also was doing it with or without him, so he had to be on board :tt2:

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

barbie1978    22

barbie1978
Posted

While I do think it's great that there are guys out there who like plus size women, he should want you to be the healthiest YOU that you can be...if he's not going to support you on this, maybe it's time to break the ties....granted it has to be what you want as well, but if you're getting banded to improve your health you need to be surrounded by people who want to help you through that...not someone who is going to make you feel bad for this decision and who could possibly sabotage your efforts...

Best scenairo, he comes around...if not, just think of all the hotties you can choose from as you become healthier (and let's face it, look even better)! :biggrin:

You do what YOU need for yourself...everything happens for a reason! :lol:

Barbie

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×