This is a great thread for me. I'm not banded (yet), but I hope to be on my way to that soon. I am dating someone right now, I'm 27, he's 38. I do not think he'll be supportive at all of my decision to have surgery - he's said many times that he thinks WLS is a bad thing. Also, he ONLY dates plus sized girls. That is part of my struggle in making this decision, but I know it's for MY health and MY future...

So for those of you who didn't have supportive partners, how did you deal with this?

And does anyone have any sons and brothers they want to send my way?:smile:

This is a great thread for me. I'm not banded (yet), but I hope to be on my way to that soon. I am dating someone right now, I'm 27, he's 38. I do not think he'll be supportive at all of my decision to have surgery - he's said many times that he thinks WLS is a bad thing. Also, he ONLY dates plus sized girls. That is part of my struggle in making this decision, but I know it's for MY health and MY future...

So for those of you who didn't have supportive partners, how did you deal with this?

And does anyone have any sons and brothers they want to send my way?:smile:

FireDust

This is primarily about your health not your appearance (but it's a nice secondary outcome of losing weight)

I am single - I did this for me to give me a chance to live a few more year - before anymore damage is done to my body by being FAT...

You are still young - you have a better chance of stopping the damage that is done to your body by being obese.

This is your decision - does your BF love you for you or just your body - does he want you to die young from a heart attack.. Do you want to decrease your lifespan for your BF or do you want to live the optimal life that can be yours with a healthier body...

Good Luck on your journey - only you can make this decision,...

Do it for yourself and if he is not suppertive then it will be his loss.

Got rid of him. Your health and well being are important and if he's not behind you 100% you don't need him. Good luck.

Hi Firedust:

I'd go for the surgery anyway. You need to do what you want. I have experience with guys who like chubbies. A lot of them just like large women. I stay away from them because I don't want to be a large women. I want to be a normal and healthy size.

I'm single and don't have a lot of support, but I am doing this for me. My ex (we have a child together) is very supportive as is my best friend.

Don't worry, see the thread about singles. It talks about being confident. That is SUCH a turn on for most guys.

I know everyone is right. There have been many days lately where I've just wanted to walk away from him and say "see ya!". It's tough though, he really is a good guy. I just can't see him supporting me through this, I need a man who WILL support me 100%.

Well, if you really think he won't like you because you won't be plus size anymore.. time to get rid of him anyway. Never settle for someone who would leave you if you changed in XXX appearance :wub:

Ever see the talkshow of the model that was seriously burned on most of her body.. and while in the hospital her husband served her with divorce papers?

Gotta be with someone who likes you for you. Even if it's your smile, or your plus sizeness that got his attention in the first place, he should have grown to like you for who you are, and not only sticking around because of those things.

My husband thought I didn't need the surgery, that I could do it myself, but I also was doing it with or without him, so he had to be on board :tt2:

While I do think it's great that there are guys out there who like plus size women, he should want you to be the healthiest YOU that you can be...if he's not going to support you on this, maybe it's time to break the ties....granted it has to be what you want as well, but if you're getting banded to improve your health you need to be surrounded by people who want to help you through that...not someone who is going to make you feel bad for this decision and who could possibly sabotage your efforts...

Best scenairo, he comes around...if not, just think of all the hotties you can choose from as you become healthier (and let's face it, look even better)! :biggrin:

You do what YOU need for yourself...everything happens for a reason!

Barbie