My regain story

[ShoppGirl 3,360]

Okay this is long and boring at parts but here it goes. I am 3 years post sleeve and I have gained all my weight back . First of all I was on the smaller side to have the sleeve but I do still have all the same struggles and if I had waited until I was older it was just a matter of time until I was a higher bmi having the surgery. The fact that I have lost and then gained it all plus some within less than years is probably proof of that.

Anyways, with the sleeve I did lose a big chunk of weight. I went from 235 to 168 which I could not have done with regular diet. But, i was always able to eat a little more than I should at every given stage and everything was easy for me. From day one I had no gas pain and Water was easy to get down, then fluids and Protein which were easy to keep down, I had no food intolerances and advancing through each stage. I was living my best life watching the pounds fall off but I was alway able to eat just a little more than everyone else at the same stage. Well, while the hunger hormone was gone and I was focused I was able to eat exactly what I SHOULD be eating and I measured my portions to the Amount I should be eating and I was satisfied. So lost most of the weight the dr suggested I would.

i held that weight for a few months but then the hunger started creeping back and between the hunger and the extra room in the pouch I started gaining in spite of still making healthy food choices (my food was fine but my portions were too large and too frequent). Well, even though I knew I was losing control my friends and family continued to look at me as doing great..I was still on the road to getting to where I needed ti be in their eyes. I was ashamed. I was failing yet They kept complimenting me and offering me food. They were saying things like your doing so good, you can have one slice or pizza or one brownie. It won’t kill you. It’s okay that you’ve gained a couple pounds I’ve gained a couple it’s Christmas. You can lose that. Well I have since learned that no I cannot just have one of anything to do with carbs or I crave them for a week but I didn’t know that back then

Anyways, was still going to my surgeon asking for help but I have bipolar disorder and the meds I take for it limit what other meds I can take so I cannot take many of the weight loss meds they had to offer. And the one I can take worked wonderfully during the day but when it wore off I ate all night Fast forward a few months and I stepped on the scale and I was back over 200. That sucked but I wasn’t giving up.

went back to my surgeon asking about revision to bypass. I have heartburn gerd whatever you call it and clearly the sleeve wasn’t working so I wanted to know my options. Well let’s go back. I knew I didn’t want to have surgery if I was going to just repeat the yo-yo that had just happened so I decided I wanted two opinions this time. Well the second opinion dr had a cancellation so I seen him first. He was on board. He was going to bypass a shorter amount of bowel so i had less absorption issues and my meds Would work fine he said which seemed to be his concern even though it wasn’t really my question. I just needed my dr to say that it shouldn't be a repeat of last time and I was going forward.

Well even though the bypass was an option he presented to me to start he said he wouldn’t do a bypass for me. He thought it would be a bad call with my mental health issues. This was confusing to say the least because I have one dr saying it’s fine and another dr I really respect saying it’s not and I started this thinking bypass was always an okay option in terms of mental health but worried the surgery just wouldn’t work for me. I am of course concerned about my mental health so took some time to think about it.

I tried for a while to find a bariatric therapiest but none near me are taking any new patients. I even asked the surgeon and he said he would look into it but be never did. Anyways I called around for the better part of two days. They all just do the evaluations now for surgery. I have had every hormone test and lab they have that could possibly be the problem. I changed all my meds in case they were the issue. I tried everything myself and my doctors could think of but I kept gaining.

When I revisited the idea of surgery I was scared. Anything that was going to upset my mental health again just isn’t an option I decided. I already know what life without my medication is like and I do not want to go back there. I continued to gain. I got back up to 245 and I am miserable. I am so depressed when I look at what I have let happen to myself. I had a chance and I blew it. I am disgusted when I look in the mirror. I decided that the weight is causing me to be more depressed so I needed to get some real answers.

I went back to my surgeon. Not to ask him to do the surgery but exactly why he thought it was a bad idea. The plan was to take that info and talk to the other surgeon to make sure he had considered that and see why he wasn’t worried about it. Well, surprise…my surgeon is on board now with doing a revision for me. When I asked why he said no before he said something about a nite in my chart that said I wasn’t complaint with my meds back them and he didn’t know I have a psychiatrist and psychologist and take my meds but now he is comfortable doing surgery.

So, frustrated I had to wait until I gained almost 50 more pounds to get here but excited he is willing to do it I am researching the other surgery he thinks will be a better fit for me called the SADI. At the same time I am still not buying the note in my chart thing. Cause that was never true.

I guess the important takeaway for those of you here that are just starting out is even if you do regain don’t lose touch with your team and don’t give up. I feel like my dr wavering in whether he would do the surgery didn’t help but I could have asked more questions sooner and I wouldn’t have so much to lose this time. Plus, hopefully you guys can take the weight loss meds and won’t be facing a second surgery.

[Spinoza 1,177]

Thank you for sharing your story. All of us who have had WLS have a fear of regain but it happens. It's helpful to hear where you went off the rails. I hope your second surgery gives you another chance to get to where you want to be. Please let us all know how you're doing.

[BlondePatriotInCDA 218]

Thank you for sharing. The first step is usually the hardest - recognizing the wrong turns. You've done that, so congrats. Everyone going through these weight struggles is stronger than they believe they are. Sure quitting smoking can be tough - but smoking (despite what some might say 😋) isn't necessary for maintaining life, eating is. Its an ongoing daily battle to fight your mind and body programmed to eat to survive, yet everyone here, including yourself are fighting natural instincts.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Just take another step, keep in mind where you went off your path and keep pushing. After all, its a struggle worth fighting - your health.

You said "I am miserable. I am so depressed when I look at what I have let happen to myself" you're fighting a war against something far stronger than a human should have to fight - natures drive to survive, natures need to eat when you can in case of famine - its not an easy fight. Recognize this and be easy on yourself. Once you recognized there is a fight, fight back even if its one baby step at a time, its still a step in the right direction which you've done by contacting a bariatric surgeon and looking for a therapist. Be easy on yourself, you've got this - just stay in your fighters stance, put up your fists and tackle it!

Good luck!

[ShoppGirl 3,360]

Thank you both.
Spinoza thank you I know with my mental health issues that my journey doesn’t look exactly like everyone’s here but some version of what happened to me could happen to everyone I hope my story helps someone. I know that so many people here have helped me along the way. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten so embarrassed and stopped posting last time. Things may be different now. But, I put my story out there and from now on I am looking forward.

BlondPatriotinCDA That’s what I try to tell my husband. He has always been very fit and he tries to empathize but he just doesn’t understand and sometimes he says all the wrong things. Recently He said I don’t get it, you quit smoking why is this so difficult for you. I said because I don’t have to smoke three puffs a day to survive and not smoke anymore than that. I know if I had one cigarette I would be a smoker again. In fact i did and I was until I quit the second time and now I know I can’t have just one. But, I do think knowledge is power and I will know when I do go off plan again which I inevitably will. I will know that give it a few days and my body will stop screaming at me that it’s starving because that’s what it takes for me. I eat carbs and my body craves them for a few days afterwards then the cravings are a lot less. Then I’m good until the next holiday or dining out temptation or if I’m really stressed I eat off plan. Those are my triggers. I’m hoping that information will make it easier for me to get back on track next time.

This time I already told all my loved ones to please try not to offer me food that is not a good choice for me and I am eating low carb already. I also just declined a lunch invitation with my craft group being honest that I’m too tempted to eat bad when dining out. Maybe once I get back on track I said but for now I need to stay focused (to a group of mostly really skinny women who probably totally don’t get it but they didn’t say anything at least). Anyways. Yes. My plan is to keep chatting here with people Who actually get it and to try to find that therapist and pay out of pocket as Spinoza suggested because this is it. It is not like they usually revise a third time and even if they did the complications and risks are scary enough the second time around. This is my do over and I have to do it right this time.

[Spinoza 1,177]

You are sounding so positive and forward thinking - you're ready to do this. 💪