Help me weigh pros and cons?

[GreatHope 8]

I have 2 small children and hope to one day have more kids. I’m 25. I’ve been obese most of my life but gone to morbidity obese the past 3 years or so (BMI 40). I don’t have obesity related health conditions yet but my weight is making life harder. No energy, can’t fit on fair rides or airplanes comfortably with my kids, can’t do as much with them as I want to, can’t perform as well at my job due to being so tired. I have a strong family history of high BP, heart problems, diabetes, etc. so I know that’s where I’m headed.

My mom’s terrified I’d have complications later in life and die from it (she had a friend almost die from complications 5y post-op) and my husband’s scared they’d make my health issues worse instead of better.

There are merits to their concerns. I want to make my life better, not handicap myself even more or even potentially die from it.

So from those who’ve been through it: are the risks worth it? Knowing what you know now, would you do in my position?

[Arabesque 6,502]

The surgery 100%. But then people here will tell you the same thing. Our individual stories may be a little different & even our motivations may not be exactly the same but what we share is that we were all obese just like you. We’re not now. Our health is better, we’re fitter, we’re able to enjoy our lives as we want to, we can do things we never thought we’d be able to do, we’re able to do more & share more with our family & friends.

The risks are actually much lower than with other very commonly done surgeries & greatly less than the risks associated with obesity.

Best decision I made. All the best with your decision.

[GreenTealael 24,883]

If I were in your position and unsure I would:

Find a GREAT team (that accepts your insurance) and go to a few information sessions.
Ask a ton of questions. Consult the surgeon and ask a ton of questions.
Join the support group and listen to the candid conversations of the members. See the nutritionist/dietician and follow the plan they give to you. Start implementing the post WLS lifestyle now. Try a few Protein supplements. Start monitoring your progress during these changes.

If you are still unsure about any of it, ask more questions, take your time and go to more support meetings, talk more with your family about their concerns, tell them yours. Honestly you don’t have to rush into anything, take your time (unless there’s a reason you need to).

For me WLS was absolutely worth the risks and I would do it again.

Good Luck!

Edited December 19, 2023 by GreenTealael

[ChunkCat 689]

Totally worth the stress and worry of it. I'm 7 weeks post op so those hard, early weeks are very fresh for me and I'd do them over every year if I had to. I've already been able to stop my diabetes meds (my blood sugar is in the 80s!), they also took me off my blood pressure meds (it is now normal!), and we expect my labs to have improved when we draw them in January. Truly, I think it is a modern medical miracle that a surgery can do that and do it so quickly.

My biggest wish is that I'd had it sooner. I let a lot of fear and misinformation get in my way for decades. I knew a woman when I was in my 20s who was an old school bypass patient and non compliant with her Vitamins and Protein. The health issues she had from not complying with good treatment were scary and I didn't want to be like that! I also didn't understand that these surgeries have a METABOLIC effect as well as the effect of making our stomachs smaller so we eat less. Those metabolic effects are something we can't get from a medication.

Can it make things worse? There is a small chance it could. But there is a much bigger chance it will improve your life by leaps and bounds. WLS is about as risky as gallbladder surgery and you don't see many people having a cow and panicking over a loved one having their gallbladder out. Educate yourself on the facts, read all you can, talk to the surgeon, have them talk to the surgeon, and really think over what you are willing to change in your world to make this work for you the way you need it to work. It is YOUR body and your quality of life being impacted here.

[catwoman7 10,881]

having surgery vs weighing 373 lbs (and not being able to lose more than 50 at a pop - just to gain it all back a few months later) was a no brainer for me (well, maybe not a no-brainer as it took me a long time to come to this conclusion!). I was headed for lots of complications and an early death to boot. Major complications on modern WLS surgeries are really rare. This wasn't the case 20 or 30 years ago, but it is now - techniques have improved and these have become very routine surgeries.

of course the decision is up to you, but this was one of the best decisions I've ever made and like the above commenter, I'd go back every year and have it again if I had to. This surgery was life-changing for me and there's no way I'd ever want to go back to where I was.

[summerseeker 1,863]

I am old, it has taken me years to save the money for this surgery. Had I the chance to do the surgery when I was younger, I would have jumped at it. In my late 50's I started to get more and more disabled. I was almost housebound. Now this woman has a great life, she goes on holiday by herself, volunteers in a charity shop and shops till she drops. I could never have dreamed my life would be so great.

So I can not eat like my friends when we go out for meals, they think its an issue but I don't. This is the only issue I have ever encountered.

Its always scary to have any surgery especially self elected ones. Our brains are built that way. Try to dismiss other peoples worries. They really do not have the right information. You may not decide to do the surgery now but I bet you have it further down the line and then wish you mustered your courage now.

Like the TV ad says ' just do it'

[Tomo 1,140]

All the great responses above and...

For me, 100% worth it. Like@summerseeker said above, if I had the chance to do it when I was young, I would've done it in a heartbeat. I wanted to, but didn't have the $ resources as well. My family was deadset against it so no support system at the time. Not financially nor emotionally.

When I finally did it, I was much older (40s), and I did it completely alone. I was a "healthy" active heavy young adult, but in my 40s, all my commorbities flooded in. I was miserable. When I was younger I felt that anything would be better than the life I was living, and I was right. lol. It would have saved me years of pain, suffering, embarrassment, isolation. I really can't be happier about finally getting it. I'm in my 60s now.

[GreatHope 8]

Thank you all for your replies. I put in a request to meet with a doctor to discuss my options. I really think it’d be a good decision for me and would improve our lives.