Sex!!!

[bandster_1007 1]

010308--

one more thing that i wanted to say. i too have thought about sitting him down and letting him read some things on here, but dh would be seriously offended if he knew that i was telling these things. i guess that makes it bad that i am, but i need to get it out. i don't want to tell my friends, because that is a little too personal.

he knows i talk about things, and once he even saw a post regarding our fight. he blew up. then he realized that i was serious, and he surprised me by cleaning up and doing some x-mas decor. so i guess it was a benefit, but the blow up was bad, i was glad i had somewhere to be.

[AppleSmith1226 1]

well I am curious to know what makes you guys hurt? I am seriously not making a joke please don't take offense... but are ur hubbys oackage that big?? Where does the pain come in. Cause it feels really good to me when my husband goes deep LOL ... i feel so weird telling that LOL. But I do have the problem with him giving me foreplay too. He just wants head and he is ready to bang my brains out. But I only like foreplay because thats what turns me on than I have my moment where I wanna just jump on him. No foreplay needed I dont know. And maybe it's likethis for me cause I rarely see my hubby (military) so when we see each othe we both are pretty darn horny. But sometimes when its painful it's because of certain positions and I know this is because I am so big. Like from the back it would feel wayyy better if my butt was the size it used to be when I was like 16... So I am looking forward to skinny sex ... I know it would feel way better to me than it does now. But even before he was in the army it was really good when we first got 2gether (3 1/2 yrs ago) and of course I was smaller then. But as painful as you ladies are talking doesn't sound healthy ... I know women that don't have orgasm is normal but not excruciating pain ... unless it's something more. Have you talked to the GYN about it ... Or maybe the sex toys and stuff will help. I know when I get close to goal I am going to invest in alot of sex furniture and also a sex machine for when hubby's away LOL. But lots of love Apples!

[Daisalana 33]

I'm a big believer in the magic bullets, not the food thing.

[Missy0224 6]

I'm a big believer in the magic bullets, not the food thing.

Fairy! You read my mind. I'm on my 2nd because I broke the first one, maybe from using it way too much? HAHA!

[bandster_1007 1]

i'm not talking about child labor pains here...there is a big difference...but i am talking about the kind of pain where the moans coming out of my mouth are in agony not in pleasure.

i'm a "shallow" woman..my man is not particularly large, but he is very rough. he hits my cervix with little to no effort at all, and i feel it pop and it hurts. now..if he waits until i have an orgasm, then he can bang me all he wants and it doesn't hurt..something about when i have an orgasm relaxes everything.

funny..i was joking with him the other night and i said something to the extent of i wanted some good hour sex like when we were in our teens..and i was joking with him about how he couldn't last that long (this was not a mean thing..we were playing with each other)..anyways..he was like "i could last that long..if i wanted to, but who wants to have sex for an hour...lol".. (truthfully i rarely do)..so i said..what..you mean you can control it and not cum so fast..he was like yeah..and then i joked and said ..well if that is the case, why am i not having an orgasm every time we have sex. if you can control it, you should wait for me...i'll be damned if he hasn't started.

he knows that he hurts me..the thing is he doesn't know when it is going to hurt me. one night..i'm begging him to do it harder, and we are breaking the bed..the next night...i'm shoving my fists into his abdomen to stop him from going in.

i've mentioned it to my gyno and the just say...ummm.that's not normal..and that is it...but i have a flipped cervix, and i also have endometriosis..so i think that has something to do with it. also, when i have sex on top (ok this is embarrasing), there is something inside of me that gets stuck..i know weird right...and his head usually gets stuck around it somewhere and it makes this popping noise and it hurts like hell. that is why i rarely have sex on top..the whole popping things, is a horribe feeling (and sound)..i sounds like someone popped their shoulder. it hurts him too, but he doesn't know what it is.

oh..and i do use bullets and i do manually stimulate myself often..but my weight hinders that somewhat when he is also involved. he knows that i have orgasms if i masterbate, and he encourages it (he purchased my newest vibe for me). he knows that i do not need penetration to cum, etc. he tries..it just takes A LOT of effort with me to make sure it doesn't hurt and that i actually get off.

this is something i plan to bring up with my ob/gyn next month.

also...i've read about this problem, but since the birth of my child it is not so bad. some women, who have experienced traumatic sexual experiences in their life, have an uncontrollable tightening of the vaginal muscles in an attempt to prevent unwanted penetration. ok, so even though they want it, their body reacts the same way. before i had my son, on several occasions (with people other than my current hubby..he was my first boyfriend..and my body was always very cooperative with him) with an ex boyfriend, where he literrally could not get it in..and trust me he was small..but the thing was..i felt violated in some way somewhere in my life and i was not relaxed and my shit shut up...we just wouldn't have sex..on several occassions..and sometimes it would tighten up during sex and he would have to stop because it hurt him and or pushed him out.

so ....although i don't think anyone would have any trouble getting in there anymore (thanks son)..i think my muscles still do the same thing.

[bandster_1007 1]

my very fav toy is the cordless silver bullet....

i love it!!!!

[Missy0224 6]

They have cordless? Damn that cord really gets on my nerves. I've never seen one. Any ideas where I might find one?

[mylapspirit 2]

Well, as of today I have lost 106 lbs. Before the surgery my husband could not keep his hands off me. I enjoyed giving him anything he needed. But since I have had my surgery he will not touch me. It is making me feel really depressed - because I feel so much better and I need him to love me. I don't understand what is going on with him and when I try to talk to him he clams up and goes in another room. Right now I am very frustrated, my sex drive is at the highest it has been in about 10 years. If things don't get better soon I feel I might have an affair.

Any suggestions???

shelli

[skinnyziggy718 0]

After I look at my papers again I'll post more specific information. But, there is a pain associated with sex that is from a disorder involving your pelvic floor. Weird name I know but combined with other seemingly not related aches and itches and symptoms it falls in the category of Womens Chronic Pain issues. I had a pain where my left ovary should have been, if I had one there and and after many tests it was found to be related to ALL these other issues I had and some women have painful intercourse as well. I'll get my papers together and post if anyones interested.

Diane

[meghan1983 0]

I got a cordless bullet from the local adult toy shop. It was really cheap - about $10, and ran on a watch battery. My battery died after about 6 months (and I used it frequently). I have yet to replace it, but it was the best!! It was sold with this cock ring, that had a place for the bullet.... absolute heaven!

As for painful sex... I've only experienced painful sex at point in time. I went to the doctor - she did an exam and said that my cervix was swollen and bleeding. It turns out it was a reaction to my BC pill. Once i changed pills... no more pain.

[010308 0]

Anybody that feels embarrassed to go to the sex shop should check out Amazon.com, click on Health & Personal Care and then click on Wellness. The box that it comes in will look like you ordered a book..... and from what I've heard their prices beat most stores. The only thing I would say to beware of is that after you use Amazon, the next time you sign on they will make suggestions on new purchases based on previous purchases and it could get embarrassing if someone else signed in on your connection and found that.

[Squishee 1]

Hey Shelli, I can't offer much but I'll try. First and foremost well done on your amazing wls so far!!!

By the sounds of your problem it could be a few things.

Did you discuss the surgery and the implications beforehand, was he 100% on board with you or dod he have any concerns. Did you resolve these?

How supportive has he been in other ways during your journey so far, has he felt as though he's being involved? One of the things that can happen during our journey is that we get so wrapped up in ourselves we forget that there is someone that is just as involved with this as we are.

He could feel as though he has a brand new wife (and so he should!) so might be an idea to take things back to basics and date again, I know this sounds stupid but bring the old romance back

He could feel left out and maybe it's been all about you for a while and he's been going through other stuff he felt he couldn't talk to you about. Try to get to know each other again.

These are just suggestions, please take them as they are intended, I'm not accusing but trying to get you to look at things from another perspective. I hope you find it useful Goodluck, keep us posted! xx

[bandster_1007 1]

pain with the pelvic floor huh...well..that makes sense..seems to be where the popping comes from. haha.

dh asked me last night to get on top..and i'm like..no..sorry..don't like the whole popping thing....

pain with sex (for me) varies as much as the weather (in arkansas)..some nights it's great and pain free, and other's i'm fighting the tears.

[TamifromAL 1]

if he waits until i have an orgasm, then he can bang me all he wants and it doesn't hurt..something about when i have an orgasm relaxes everything.

You should buy him this book:

She Comes First, by Ian Kerner

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First/dp/B000FC1PRK/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1201553153&sr=8-2]Amazon.com: She Comes First: The Kindle Store: Ian Kerner[/ame]

I haven't actually read it, but I've read several raving reviews!

Tami

[TownDrunk 0]

Great, now I'm horny.