Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Dating post WLS and PS



Recommended Posts

My husband and I separated a couple months ago and are just waiting on court availability to finalize our divorce. I’ve just started dipping my toe in the dating world. It’s fun on some levels. However, I can’t help but feel a little (probably misplaced) resentment. Suddenly I’m a bit of a hot commodity. While on dating websites before my marriage, when I was 140 lbs heavier, I had few show interest. Now I’m overwhelmed with messages. It kind of messes with my brain to go from someone seen as undesirable to someone desirable. I’m still the same person, just in different packaging I guess. It’s frustrating to realize how much my value as a person was minimized due to my weight 😡

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been married for a long time but registered for the "BBF" module on Bumble (Bumble is, of course, a dating site - but they have a module for people just looking for (same sex) friends - the BBF module). A couple of times I've switched over to the dating module for a few minutes, just out of curiosity. It's pretty clear on my profile that I'm married and not looking, but the couple of times I've gotten on the dating side for like 15 minutes, I'm suddenly bombarded with "likes" (or whatever they call them). WTH? Of course, I don't respond since I'm not in the market, but like you, I wonder if this would have happened when I was 200 lbs heavier. Doubtful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Proceed with caution on Dating sites.

I think that people will test many boundaries/limits because there are very few real world repercussions for dishonesty.

Also, looks seem to matter the most on apps that are basically 5 second interviews.

That being said I met my BF on a dating site (post WLS & pre plastics)

Good luck! ❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 05/19/2021 at 11:01, GreenTealael said:



Proceed with caution on Dating sites.




I think that people will test many boundaries/limits because there are very few real world repercussions for dishonesty.



Also, looks seem to matter the most on apps that are basically 5 second interviews.




That being said I met my BF on a dating site (post WLS & pre plastics)




Good luck! ❤️


For sure! Being a psych nurse I have a highly attuned BS detector 😂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, catwoman7 said:

I've been married for a long time but registered for the "BBF" module on Bumble (Bumble is, of course, a dating site - but they have a module for people just looking for (same sex) friends - the BBF module). A couple of times I've switched over to the dating module for a few minutes, just out of curiosity. It's pretty clear on my profile that I'm married and not looking, but the couple of times I've gotten on the dating side for like 15 minutes, I'm suddenly bombarded with "likes" (or whatever they call them). WTH? Of course, I don't respond since I'm not in the market, but like you, I wonder if this would have happened when I was 200 lbs heavier. Doubtful.

Does your spouse know of your curiosity?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Darkerthanblack1964 said:

Does your spouse know of your curiosity?

yep - I told him I got on that module and what happened. I'm not curious in that I want to date anyone. I just wanted to see what kind of men in the 50-70 age group get on these things. Answer: lots.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I met my husband online 18 years ago. It's is crazy. Had a guy with a picture of a couple in his profile. Me: - sorry I don't talk to married guys. Him - It's okay. My wife picks them out for me. Me - 😳 Now, I'm not shaming anyone if that's your lifestyle. I was just really naive 18 yrs ago and didn't think that that REALLY happened in real life!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, njlimmer said:

I met my husband online 18 years ago. It's is crazy. Had a guy with a picture of a couple in his profile. Me: - sorry I don't talk to married guys. Him - It's okay. My wife picks them out for me. Me - 😳 Now, I'm not shaming anyone if that's your lifestyle. I was just really naive 18 yrs ago and didn't think that that REALLY happened in real life!

I'm kind of wondering if some of these guys who "liked" me might have thought I was in an open marriage or something. I made it pretty clear on my profile that I was married and not in the market, but I guess they either don't read...or don't care. Or again, that I'm in an open marriage. At any rate, of course I never responded to any of them. But it was just...weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, catwoman7 said:

I'm kind of wondering if some of these guys who "liked" me might have thought I was in an open marriage or something. I made it pretty clear on my profile that I was married and not in the market, but I guess they either don't read...or don't care. Or again, that I'm in an open marriage. At any rate, of course I never responded to any of them. But it was just...weird.

They don't read it. On my profile, I was pretty honest about what I was looking for. Another guy messaged me and said he was looking for a bisexual who would wear black leather and participate in swinging. (Again...no shame to anyone but that was NOWHERE on my profile.) I told him that I didn't think I was what he was looking for. He told me that I'd never know unless I tried. Also, the number of guys who tried to get me to go away with them. One guy told me he'd take me to Jamaica - we had never met or anything. I have a better sense of self-preservation than that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, njlimmer said:

They don't read it. On my profile, I was pretty honest about what I was looking for. Another guy messaged me and said he was looking for a bisexual who would wear black leather and participate in swinging. (Again...no shame to anyone but that was NOWHERE on my profile.) I told him that I didn't think I was what he was looking for. He told me that I'd never know unless I tried. Also, the number of guys who tried to get me to go away with them. One guy told me he'd take me to Jamaica - we had never met or anything. I have a better sense of self-preservation than that!

OMG - that would freak me out!!! I'd probably end up deleting my profile!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, njlimmer said:

They don't read it. On my profile, I was pretty honest about what I was looking for. Another guy messaged me and said he was looking for a bisexual who would wear black leather and participate in swinging. (Again...no shame to anyone but that was NOWHERE on my profile.) I told him that I didn't think I was what he was looking for. He told me that I'd never know unless I tried. Also, the number of guys who tried to get me to go away with them. One guy told me he'd take me to Jamaica - we had never met or anything. I have a better sense of self-preservation than that!

I had a guy (in real life, not online) ask me out for the first time by asking if I wanted to go to Hawaii with him. I mean, dude really...can we start with coffee first? LOL 😀

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Jaelzion said:

I had a guy (in real life, not online) ask me out for the first time by asking if I wanted to go to Hawaii with him. I mean, dude really...can we start with coffee first? LOL 😀

Did you take him up on any offer?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did online dating a lot many years ago. I got one very good relationship out of it. We eventually stopped dating, but we're still very close (I'm visiting him this weekend - it's complicated). After that guy and I broke up I met another guy and we went out for about a month until he broke up with me because he wasn't attracted to my body type - and that was after I had just lost 100 lbs. I was devastated. Of course, we're still friends, and I met some wonderful people through him.

I don't know where people meet if not online. I work from home, I don't go to religious services, and I'm no longer in college. I'm definitely not going to hang out in bars, since I don't drink and I can't hear a darned thing in loud places. Maybe after I lose weight if I'm feeling secure enough I'll try online dating again, but I still am very picky. I am happy with my complicated relationship with my ex-boyfriend (the one I'm visiting) except that he doesn't like to travel and that's my passion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×