Lying about not getting surgery is awful

[billho 243]

my typical response when people comment on my weight loss is that I have been walking a lot (average 14,000 steps a day) and and eating less. That's all true and enough information to get past it. But I have told a handful of people that I trust about my surgery. I don't hide it if asked, but don't feel that it is something I need to broadcast to everyone. It's not everyone's business to know my medical history.

[Hop_Scotch 1,626]

It's been a great conversation, but the OP hasn't been back on BP since early May. OP as far as I am concerned was flamebaiting. It's been great that they didn't get the response they were expecting but instead opposing views with respectful discussion. Well done all of us!

[cellbell 113]

I'm late to this conversation and I think Hop_Scotch above is correct about OP's intentions, but I also wanted to say that sometimes it's NOT helpful to others when you're really open about it. A few years ago, I worked closely with a woman who had bariatric surgery. I wasn't ready to start considering it myself, but I felt like every time she told anyone, they immediately looked to me like "she's just as fat, why isn't she having surgery too?"

So basically, you can't win either way and should decide to tell or not tell based on your feelings, not anyone else's!

[Losewate 11]

On 5/11/2021 at 11:15 AM, GinormousReislin said:

The trend and overwhelming amount of people not honest hurts others who need surgery and also keeps the stigma alive. Most people will talk there loved one out of it because of shame and ignorance. Trust me I'd like to pretend I lost weight by all the sudden eating correct and exercising but thats in itself sick. Your medical care isnt public but would you tell people you had cancer and instead of chemo you just walked and went to weight watchers?

I'm not shaming you lol sorry I am tense but I wish anyone who is neurologically ill will never use an app or be ok which is ridiculous considering the routine and millions who have been operated on.

Sorry for typos and run-on sentences lol my screen broke so i don't try to spell check or proof haha

Hope this hits softer and provokes thought

I hear what your saying, and with me, it’s not the fact that I don’t want to tell people. This surgery is elective surgery and as such my employer wouldn’t pay me when I was off for this type of operation. I’m not ashamed of having it done, but I have a mortgage & bills to pay. Otherwise, I’d shout it from the rooftops 👍

[BriarRose 432]

I have had major surgery for what was thought was ovarian cancer. My mother died several years prior to my major surgery from ovarian cancer. I had verified tumors and incapacity causing pain. I did not tell "everybody" nor did I tell anyone who asked. I took care of business - went to an attorney who helped me with financial and legal issues for my then underage daughter. I made arrangements for who would take care of my pets. Those people, of course knew. But work colleagues, acquaintances, even many friends and relatives, I did not tell. NOT their business. AT ALL. I do not need people talking about what is clearly not about them. I was very lucky to have been opened fully from above my belly button to my pubic bone. I was very lucky to have had benign and rare tumors that had only just begun to be "funky". I had some specialized treatments that I also do not share with others. That was 15 years ago. No one needs to know. In my opinion - telling the world about one's medical information is an attention seeking behavior. Acceptable for some; but not for a me and not for many others EVER. I am NOT saying YOU shouldn't share - by all means go out there and do what makes you comfortable. But for many - sharing personal information is well, like going outside in public naked. Totally not necessary.

[Dorky 1]

On 5/11/2021 at 6:15 AM, GinormousReislin said:

The trend and overwhelming amount of people not honest hurts others who need surgery and also keeps the stigma alive. Most people will talk there loved one out of it because of shame and ignorance. Trust me I'd like to pretend I lost weight by all the sudden eating correct and exercising but thats in itself sick. Your medical care isnt public but would you tell people you had cancer and instead of chemo you just walked and went to weight watchers?

I'm not shaming you lol sorry I am tense but I wish anyone who is neurologically ill will never use an app or be ok which is ridiculous considering the routine and millions who have been operated on.

Sorry for typos and run-on sentences lol my screen broke so i don't try to spell check or proof haha

Hope this hits softer and provokes thought

i totally agree with you but also respect people doing what they want. If we want to get rid of the stigma, more of us are going to have to be unashamed about it. I am one who really doesnt care what anyone thinks of me so telling people is my way of living authentically. I am also a horrible liar so i would feel like a jerk if someone asked me how i was losing weight. Even telling a partial truth would make me feel bad about myself.

[Slownstedy 210]

Off topic. Re, Duping syndrome : Has anyone had dumping syndrome after glucose spike ( chocolate shake glcose 219 < last A1c 5.2 )with major glucose drop ( 54-66 ) and heart rate drop to upper 30's. Is this common with dumping . Guess I'm no longer Insulin Resistant. Thx :)

[Slownstedy 210]

5 hours ago, Losewate said:

I hear what your saying, and with me, it’s not the fact that I don’t want to tell people. This surgery is elective surgery and as such my employer wouldn’t pay me when I was off for this type of operation. I’m not ashamed of having it done, but I have a mortgage & bills to pay. Otherwise, I’d shout it from the rooftops 👍

Yep loved tried vigorously to talk me out of it. I would probably still be a 300 + lb Diabetic with a huge Ventral hernia sticking out...

[2021NewMe 60]

On 5/11/2021 at 3:15 AM, GinormousReislin said:

The trend and overwhelming amount of people not honest hurts others who need surgery and also keeps the stigma alive. Most people will talk there loved one out of it because of shame and ignorance. Trust me I'd like to pretend I lost weight by all the sudden eating correct and exercising but thats in itself sick. Your medical care isnt public but would you tell people you had cancer and instead of chemo you just walked and went to weight watchers?

I'm not shaming you lol sorry I am tense but I wish anyone who is neurologically ill will never use an app or be ok which is ridiculous considering the routine and millions who have been operated on.

Sorry for typos and run-on sentences lol my screen broke so i don't try to spell check or proof haha

Hope this hits softer and provokes thought

I have a friend that I known for many years that was always on the obese side, she suddenly lost so much weight and I swear the first thing I thought was she got the surgery, the thing is that when I asked she said she was on a diet that kaiser put her on with shakes and stuff, but I know she got the surgery. now that I know what is required and how she was acting when we met for coffee and she just drank Water. well anyways, I felt like that was messed up that she would not share it when I myself had weight issues with obesity. I felt like she must not be a true friend if she cant share such an important issue I would never have judged her, I am not like that I think its a privacy issue for her. I myself did share but with a small circle of five people closest to me. now is it and will it eventually leak out YES of course bc if you dont want it to get out tell nobody. so i expect it to someday be something that everyone might know and that is ok if someday just not now or immediately bc I am not a reality show and I dont want everyone all up in my business all asking me questions, wanting to see me and like no privacy. I dont mind people knowing my business but in my time, at my pace when I am good and ready and think people are worthy of knowing any of my business.

[NYJenn 1,461]

As far as I’m concerned, it’s no one else’s business.

[skyewolfe 92]

On 5/11/2021 at 6:15 AM, GinormousReislin said:

I'm not shaming you

Honestly it does sound like you are. There is also a difference between having cancer and losing weight. Huge difference. There’s a strong stigma around bariatric surgery so yeah, of course people will lie. I only told a few close people. To everyone else I started eating healthy and **** because I don’t want to deal with the negative attitude. If I meet someone who tells me they are considering the surgery. I will talk to them about it. But otherwise it’s really no one’s business