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I hope my children are supportive.



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My procedure for gastric sleeve surgery is scheduled for July 23rd in Mexico with Dr. Illian. I find myself watching every video and reading all the info I can get my hands on as I'm wanting to be and feel as prepared as possible. I want so badly for all to go well and to start this new chapter in my life. All that being said I do have some concerns. My biggest being that I have a large family with 5 children and I'm worried that they're going to hate all the changes that are going to be happening and that it's going to be really hard on them. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Or is there any advice you could give me? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

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Congratulations to you. I can't give perspective as a parent, just as a child. I know that my mother has made plenty of changes in her life that were not bariatric surgery but affected me a lot. At the time (when I was a teenager/in college) I was upset about some of them. But I got older and some time passed and I realized that she had to do those things for her. It might take a little while for them to get on board but they love you and they will get there. You just have to stay the course and do what is right for you.

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I don't have children, although my family was super supportive and knew I was becoming much healthier as I lost weight. I can imagine some kids might be freaked out by food changes (unless they continue to eat the same way as they did before your surgery), but I would think they would be fine with the idea of a thinner, healthier mom. But then I don't have kids, so I'm probably not the one to talk. I'm just thinking about how I would have felt about this when I was a kid...

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Are your kids young? I would focus on balance for them, you can incorporate some of your new healthy habits while maintaining things they enjoy. Kids need fat and carbs for proper development, plus they naturally burn a ton of energy. One of my biggest worries with my weight was passing along bad habits to my child. My mom started giving me 'diet' Snacks when I was young and I think having restriction at a young age led to wanting excess. I'm all about balance for him, healthy options and fun kid snacks, eat when you're hungry and I don't force more bites if he's not hungry, I allow him to trust his body. I don't think any of changes I need to make for me should have any significant effect on him.

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I've been listening to the Weight Loss Surgery podcast and Lisa Lampanelli's Get Stuffed. She is one of my fave comics and she had a sleeve in 2014-15. They both cover these topics in episodes. I find most people are afraid of change, but to quote my favorite business book -Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers. Best of luck to you!

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My 4 kids (ages 6-15) know I’ve had surgery(ies) for weight loss and other things. I started changing things pretty slowly. Picking a new vegetable to try once a month, making a healthier version of their favorite foods. Buying healthier versions of their favorite Condiments (sugar free ketchup, light or fat free dressings, light mayo, etc.). Having them help cook meals made them more likely to enjoy them with me.

Sure they still eat Mac and cheese, instant ramen, and chicken nuggets but those are the nights I’m glad I have leftovers from a healthy meal I made earlier in the week or can make a salad.

Its all about balance and kids get that if you talk to them about it and reassure any fears or answer any questions they might have. I think teaching them that healthy doesn’t have to mean boring has also been a huge plus (for me at least).

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I don’t have children either but I can share a couple of stories.

My mother asked by 20 yr old nephew if he thought I was different since I lost weight. He gave my mother a strange look then looked at me & said nope. She’s still the bestest aunt.

My 8 yr old niece asked me why I was skinny now. I told her it was so she could give me better hugs. She threw herself at me & wrapped her arms about me then ran off to play.

The 10 yr old son of my friend was talking to her about a boy in his class who was very overweight & how sad it was he couldn’t play sport. My friend said yes, it is difficult when you are big to be active. Look how much I can do with you now I’ve lost weight. Her son looked at her quizzical & said what do you mean you lost weight. She said you know from when I was really overweight. He replied you were never fat.

Sometimes, our children, nieces & nephews, only see the real us inside not the physical outer us. & they can be more accepting & non judgemental about changes to our external selves.

I don’t know the ages of your children but be open. Talk to them about why you’re doing this & how it will be better for all of you. You healthier, more active, etc. & benefits to all of you because of better eating habits as well. Introduce the changes that directly affect them slowly so they are more accepting & not adverse to the changes.

Good luck.

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On 4/27/2021 at 10:16 PM, Arabesque said:

The 10 yr old son of my friend was talking to her about a boy in his class who was very overweight & how sad it was he couldn’t play sport. My friend said yes, it is difficult when you are big to be active. Look how much I can do with you now I’ve lost weight. Her son looked at her quizzical & said what do you mean you lost weight. She said you know from when I was really overweight. He replied you were never fat.

This has been my experience with my kids - 14 and 11. The oldest was frustrated with me because I was stopping to check out stores that I've never been able to shop in, and I finally told her that not everything was about her, and now that I'm almost able to shop in a "normal" store, I wanted to check it out.

She looked at me like I'd grown an extra head and said - What do you mean normal? You're normal.

Me: You know, I've only been able to shop in stores with big clothes.

Her: Why? You're not big, but you are losing your butt.

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Your surgery is on my one year surgery anniversary!
I only have one child, a 10 year old son, and he has been amazing and not really phased at all by the whole process of me getting surgery and all the changes I've made. Considering it's been the year of COVID, virtual school, etc, I think he has dealt with it very well and he really is my biggest supporter. I talked to him a lot about it beforehand and prepared him for the changes.
I think kids are actually pretty good at handlinh stuff like this as long as you prepare them.
I know my son is happy to have a mom who can do so much more with him now!

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