Emotional wreck

[weakminded 0]

Good morning. Today I am supposed to start my 2 week pre op diet. I have struggled hard the past 2 days and am a wreck. I even think about the surgery and I cry so hard I can’t breath. Let me go back a little bit. My insurance does not cover the surgery so I am paying myself. That also means that it all is happening really fast. My initial consult was March 5 and surgery is May 6. Also no prerequisite were required like a psych evaluation. I started calorie counting and exercising in my own in February and since I have lost 24 pounds on my own. From 291 to 267. I never had the 6 month wait with working with a dietian to see if I could do it on my own. This is the first time I’m trying to change the problem not bandaid it with weight loss pills. And it looks like it is working but will be slower than surgery. I’m on track for 10 pounds a month. I have no underlying conditions such as blood pressure or diabetes. This surgery is scaring the poop out of me and I’m so close to backing out. Has anyone been here and done it on there own? I feel like there is no part of this I can mentally handle. I can handle tracking my food and losing slowly.

[Maisey 260]

Last minute jitters are completely normal. But when I read what you wrote, I hear you saying you are not yet ready. If so, that's ok. Slow the process down until you are ready. This is a life-long change not to be entered into lightly.

I worked through insurance so I had a several month preparation period that was lengthened by Covid. I hated the idea of it. But in hindsight, it was the best thing in the world. It gave me a chance to be absolutely certain.

Take your time.

[Tim C 335]

15 minutes ago, weakminded said:

Good morning. Today I am supposed to start my 2 week pre op diet. I have struggled hard the past 2 days and am a wreck. I even think about the surgery and I cry so hard I can’t breath. Let me go back a little bit. My insurance does not cover the surgery so I am paying myself. That also means that it all is happening really fast. My initial consult was March 5 and surgery is May 6. Also no prerequisite were required like a psych evaluation. I started calorie counting and exercising in my own in February and since I have lost 24 pounds on my own. From 291 to 267. I never had the 6 month wait with working with a dietian to see if I could do it on my own. This is the first time I’m trying to change the problem not bandaid it with weight loss pills. And it looks like it is working but will be slower than surgery. I’m on track for 10 pounds a month. I have no underlying conditions such as blood pressure or diabetes. This surgery is scaring the poop out of me and I’m so close to backing out. Has anyone been here and done it on there own? I feel like there is no part of this I can mentally handle. I can handle tracking my food and losing slowly.

This will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself...No regrets!

[ShoppGirl 3,397]

Only you know yourself. For me at two weeks out I had doubts too but I knew that I had lost weight (even a great deal of it) on my own many times but I always gained it back (plus some). You have to make the best decision for yourself. The statistics say that the chances for someone at our weight (that qualify for this surgery) losing all the weight by diet and exercise alone and actually keeping it off are slim but there are some people that do. Only you know your circumstances, would you be healthy and happy if you lost some but not all of the weight?

Also, I would say if you really are concerned that you could slow down the process (ask for a different surgery date) and even ask for referrals for the nutritionist and psychiatrist or psychologist they normally use. There is no reason that they should object to you seeing those people on your own if you think it will help you make your decision. I think most people will tell you that they had some doubts around the time of the preop diet though. Only you know if they are small doubts or real ones.

[Jaelzion 1,123]

It sounds like it would be worth it to do the psych consult, if only to help you talk through what you're feeling and figure out if this is just "cold feet" or you're really not ready. Best of luck.

[njlimmer 338]

I'm with @Maisey It sounds like you're not ready. Nerves are normal, but if you FEEL like you're not ready, then you can slow the process down. There is no reason for you to have to rush. Have your surgeon's office schedule it for later if it works for you timewise. I wasn't self-pay and only needed a month of wait. I started with a consult in Oct. 2020 and could have been done by Dec., but I told them that for financial reasons, I wanted to wait until March. It was the best decision. Instead of 1 dietician visit, I had 5. I was able to talk to my therapist, and honestly, spending time on these forums was some of the best prep. I also had time to change some habits on my own before surgery required it. I'm 7 weeks post-op, doing very well, and I credit that extra time with a lot of it.

[SummerTimeGirl 580]

There are a few reasons why I would hold off getting it done if I were you. For one, it sounds like you're really not ready and could benefit from a psych evaluation beforehand. Two, you said you have never tried losing weight seriously until now and now that you are, it's working and you're actually losing! That's great! And finally, you have no underlying health conditions so IMO, it's not dire that you do it now, or else.

I know for me I wrangled with the idea in my head and with my doc and my husband for YEARS!! Weighed the pros and cons, did research, spoke to others who had it done, etc. before deciding to finally go ahead with it. And then when I did decide, I did have to do the psych evaluation and a whole slew of other stuff (not as much as some but enough).

I also spent years working with my doc on my diet and my endocrinologist, the local gym, etc. trying my hardest to lose weight and still, with all that effort, diet change and medication I still ended up with high blood pressure and now, Type 2 Diabetes. My weight simply would not move thanks to underlying issues I have (PCOS and Insulin Resistance, to name a few). Just made it extra hard for me.

I always told myself and my doc over the years that if I truly gave my diet and exercise my all and NOTHING satisfactory happened as far as weight loss, that I would seriously consider weight loss surgery. But if it the diet and exercise did indeed work, I would just continue down that path and do it on my own. Well sadly the dieting, exercise and medication did not work for me so I chose to get the surgery. And I really did try, for YEARS!!

Given the fact that you do NOT have any underlying conditions/risks, if I were you I'd step back and reevaluate getting it done and continue working hard on your diet and exercise since it seems to be working for you. But in the end, only YOU can decided what's right for you.

[JDLane 139]

I agree with what others have said that you may want to slow down your process. Just because they gave you a surgery date doesn't mean it's set in stone. I'm also paying for my own surgery with no insurance but I still completed my program the same way I would with insurance just a little faster. I did all the pre-op classes, met with dietician, met with behavioral consult etc.

I know how to lose weight the healthy way, I think most of us on here do. I've lost weight on my own several times in my life but it's very difficult for me to maintain. I don't view this surgery as a solution but it's a tool that's going to help me stick to the healthy choices without being starving hungry all the time or fighting crazy binges.

If you've never even tried to lose weight on your own before you may find yourself resentful in a few years when you can eat the way you used to, wondering if you could have just done it on your own and still be 'normal'. I spent a long time looking down on WLS thinking I could do it on my own before accepting that my body simply cannot maintain that on it's own for whatever reason. You may need to take some more steps in your journey to get to a place of acceptance and not one of fear.

[Brianna97 9]

I went through the whole process 2 years ago to get the gastric sleeve and literally backed out 2 weeks before my surgery date because I was nervous of the unknown and i also thought i could continue loosing weight by myself because I already lost a lot in the process of trying to get surgery. Eventually i started gaining and had a hard time getting control of my weight so this year I decided to go through the process again and wanted to back out again but went through with it and I've had no regrets since. Its definitely not easy but knowing i have this tool it'll be easier for me to control my weight and stay at a healthy weight and plus I already lost 25 pounds in 2 weeks so that makes me feel great too. You got this!!!

[blackcatsandbaddecisions 844]

I won’t say I “did it” on my own, but I did lose almost 60 lbs before my surgery on my own. One of my friends asked why I went though with surgery after losing so much weight on my own, and my answer was that I’ve always been able to lose weight, I’ve just never been able to keep it off. Surgery gave me the help I needed to continue going. I would have backtracked by now without surgery, and I’d be continuing to fight an uphill battle because weight loss starts off easy, and gets harder the further you go. The preop 6 month diet isn’t to see if you can do it on your own, it’s the insurance trying to get people to give up so they can disqualify you. (Sorry, but I work with insurance and yes there’s a part that is making sure people are committed etc etc but mostly it’s to reduce costs by weeding people out).

Give yourself the time you need, and push out that surgery date if you want. You’re the customer, you tell them when you want to do this. But really strongly consider if you are truly committed and confident you can do this on your own and maintain it for life, or if you’re nervous about surgery. It’s fine to be nervous! I was terrified. But almost 6 months and 120+ lbs later, I am so proud of the commitment I made to give myself another chance at life.