Why the same advice over and over?

[Creekimp13 5,836]

Most of the veteran posts, lets face it.... are "Help, I've regained!"

And the response I see over and over and over and over is...

"Go back to basics...starve yourself at 1000 calories a day (or less)...start drinking protien shakes....do keto...blah blah blah"

I don't mean to criticize heartfelt advice...and I know some of ya'll are genuinely trying to help.

But why in the world would you tell someone to do the same thing over again....that didn't work the first time?

It seems nuts to me.

My two cents: see a bariatric therapist. Stop the self punishment. Stop the self sabotage. Stop the self harming extremes.

Get down to the real reasons you're addicted to food, what you're medicating with it...and work on fixing those issues.

If you do....making slow reasonable changes to your diet that have slow but steady results....will work.

You don't have to starve. You don't have to do very low calorie diets that hurt your metabolism, your bone density, and your muscle mass.

You don't have to be so freaking EXTREME.

Breathe. Make reasonable changes you can live with for a lifetime. No crash diets. They don't work. You know this. How many years experience do you have KNOWING that this approach doesn't work? Stop running from the real issues.

Edited April 8, 2021 by Creekimp13

[The Greater Fool 1,787]

Preach it Sister!

These 'fixes' are what we called 'crash diets' pre-op. How did they work pre-op for folks?

They are STILL crash diets. No good for you short or long term.

[summerset 5,224]

4 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

Most of the veteran posts, lets face it.... are "Help, I've regained!"

And the response I see over and over and over and over is...

"Go back to basics...starve yourself at 1000 calories a day (or less)...start drinking protien shakes....do keto...blah blah blah"

[...]

But why in the world would you tell someone to do the same thing over again....that didn't work the first time?

Give me an urgent call once you've found a way to successfully conquer that particular windmill, ok?

[Creekimp13 5,836]

You're right, summerset....getting folks to think about weight loss and disordered eating in any other way than...extreme dieting...is like hitting your head against a wall until it's bloody.

I'm not sure I care to do it anymore. The windmill wins.

And Sillykitty made a great point...many people FEEL any suggestion of doing it any other way...is criticism of what they've been doing. It isn't, but I know it's experienced that way.

There is a defensiveness that rivals politics and religion...when we talk about diets and weight loss.

Everyone is very fixed on what they believe...including me, I suppose.

I think this might be a major reason why we don't see more activity on the veteran's forum...there's a volitility that gets so negative.

And ya know? I like ya'll. I don't want to feel negative about anyone or anything here.

At some point, it's unhelpful to share your two cents, even when you try to do it carefully.

And at some point, maybe it's best to realize that.

Peace and best wishes to all.

[mi75 1,234]

Well I think that when people reach out for help from regain, they're looking for advice from others that experienced regain and what worked for them. Obviously not every approach works for every person but MANY here have found great success conquering their regain. For me, when I had regain and saw my bariatric team, they told me all the things that I knew they would say- do a post opt diet, go back to Protein Shakes, Portion Control, etc. A health issue required me to achieve nutritional ketosis and that's actually what helped me lose all of my regain and more. I conquered the health issue and lost my regain and have maintained over 5 yrs.

[summerset 5,224]

5 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

The windmill wins.

Good thing is, it's not your windmill so in the end it's not your problem.

Quote

And Sillykitty made a great point...many people FEEL any suggestion of doing it any other way...is criticism of what they've been doing.

I must have missed something. Didn't see her reply to this thread?

[Stella S 610]

I fall into the basics work to trim my regain - Water not wine, cheese not with a cracker. When I focus on water and protien I drop the weight. Removing over 30 carb works. Admiring those who do not have to continue the work!

[Jaelzion 1,121]

On 4/9/2021 at 2:37 AM, Stella S said:

I fall into the basics work to trim my regain - Water not wine, cheese not with a cracker. When I focus on Water and protien I drop the weight. Removing over 30 carb works. Admiring those who do not have to continue the work!

This is pretty much what I do as well. I try to respond when I see a 5 lb gain, so I won't have to deal with re-losing larger amounts. I reduce processed foods, reduce carbs, forego off-plan treats, and focus on Protein. In other words I go back to how I ate during the weight loss phase. So far, it works for me.

[starladustangel 269]

I agree with you that therapy is hugely necessary for so many of us. I think the reason that people don't suggest it is because so many people get offended and upset by the suggestion they see a therapist or even a dietitian. A lot of people ignore the mental reasons that caused them to overeat in the first place. I fully admit I was a sugar addict who ate candy and sweet things to cope with anxiety and depression but I hear people insist over and over that "I just liked to eat".

[orionburn 1,023]

I'm finally coming back to the boards after a very long hiatus. Yes, I've had some dreaded regain between health issues, Covid, etc. and decided I need to do some sort of "therapy" even if it is socializing on here again. I admit that one of my main reasons for avoiding coming back here is exactly what you are posting about. I kept telling myself that all I'm going to here is go back to what you used to do, drink water/take vitamins/protein-protein-protein. All goes back to WLS being a tool and if your head isn't in the game you're boned. I know I'm not alone in this, and yes, it's so frustrating, embarrassing, and infuriating to be going back up after all the progress I've made. The elephant in the room is that deep down I know 90% of my struggles are mental. When you've spent 40 some years struggling with bad food relationships that crap doesn't just go away with a smaller stomach.

[Creekimp13 5,836]

On 4/23/2021 at 4:44 AM, orionburn said:

The elephant in the room is that deep down I know 90% of my struggles are mental. When you've spent 40 some years struggling with bad food relationships that crap doesn't just go away with a smaller stomach.

Bingo.

[Creekimp13 5,836]

On 4/17/2021 at 9:19 PM, starladustangel said:

I agree with you that therapy is hugely necessary for so many of us. I think the reason that people don't suggest it is because so many people get offended and upset by the suggestion they see a therapist or even a dietitian. A lot of people ignore the mental reasons that caused them to overeat in the first place.

I don't understand being offended, but you are dead right that many are. I think this block is a barrier for so many folks...it's a shame.

Instead of taking an unvarnished look at the events leading up to the behavior (so you can understand it, honor it, find an alternate way of nurturing the needs you tried to fill with food).....so many folks prefer to embrace yet another of the extreme diet strategies they've been using (unsuccessfully) for years...returning to the same patterns of crash fad diets and regain. I don't get it.

To me...."lets starve ourselves with liquid diet again!" makes very little sense and seems self destructive.

I don't mean to upset anyone by saying that, cause it seems to be the popular go-to when things go south....I just hate seeing people who have worked so hard continue to suffer.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

This is just my opinion, but going back to basics resets the cravings many of us have from eating higher starchier sugar-laden carbs. It really does reduce that desire and make it easier if you can tough it out for two weeks. But... that is a form of dieting, and can set up a cycle when it's meant to get you physically and mentally back to noticing what you have been consuming that causes the regain. It's mental for sure, but physical too.

[Goddesslola 45]

people feel attacked as your post comes off as know it all

rather than a penny for your thoughts.

like why use the word 'starve'?

The post couldve been worded like this:

Can we try something new?

I always see the same advice about regain, and i would like to suggest therapy because of a, b, c. I think this approach works better because of x, y, z. i firmly think this is better advice than pure restrictive dieting, regain vets, consider it!

im sure if it read like that this thread wouldve had a much better response.

[ms.sss 14,182]

On 9/12/2021 at 4:03 PM, Creekimp13 said:

I don't understand being offended, but you are dead right that many are. I think this block is a barrier for so many folks...it's a shame.

Maybe this is where the disconnect is. When one doesn’t understand another’s position or where they are coming from, any advice doled out by the un-understanding one may be more about them vs the the one they are thinking they are helping.

Just a thought.

Edited December 14, 2021 by ms.sss