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Went from greatest NSV to crushing blow in 1 hour



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So, yesterday was my 6 month gastric surgery anniversary. And Holy Crap. Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I started the day feeling pretty good. Went to the Cardiologist. He was so happy for my weight loss. He wanted me to lose weight, but didn't know about the VSG. He was impressed with how much weight I lost so fast. He also commented I look great and was shocked I don't look "sickly" at all due to the rapid weight loss like many patients he sees. He was thrilled with my increased physical activity and my plans to hike the "Camino de Santiago" in Spain this summer. (It is a "pilgrimage" where you walk literally across Northern Spain or another route to Santiago de Compostela). We discussed my tachycardia and sometimes low blood pressure. He is having me reduce my dosage to half a pill (YAY!). We discussed my cholesterol and medication for it. I told him of my desire to attempt to go off it for a while to see if I can keep my lipid panel numbers in check without it now that I lost all my excess weight and am eating much healthier. We agreed that I will stay on it for 6 more months and then do labs. If my numbers are good, he will let me go off them and see how my labs hold up. I acknowledged to him that I know if they do go back on them, then I will have to take it for the rest of my life... he was happy with that compromise. On top of all that already great news... I asked him about my EKG which I had already looked at myself (I am a former trauma nurse, I know how to read them). He confirmed what I already knew... my EKG was NORMAL!!! Now this is HUGE because the reason I decided to look into WLS in the first point was because I was worried about my heart. At my appointment with him in fall 2018, my EKG showed that I had an enlarged Left Ventrical for the first time. I had an echocardiogram several months later that confirmed the EKG findings. THIS is the reason I insisted on getting weight loss surgery in the first place. My heart was working too hard and was beginning to enlarge. This was unacceptable. This was my reason to stop "trying" to lose weight and for making sure I "did" lose weight. So here I am... 1 1/2 years after identifying that my heart was enlarging.... and all my excess weight is GONE and my enlarged heart is GONE TOO! OMG, I left the cardiologist office on such a high note, I practically floated home lol. And I called my husband with so much excitement. It was a great day. Until.....

During the drive home from my cardiologist I got an e-mail from the radiology office. I saw the e-mail when I stopped to exchange some pants at Old Navy. Some of you may recall I posted recently that my bilirubin levels had been rising since surgery. I normally have a high normal to slightly high bilirubin level. It is something that I have monitored my entire adult life. But since surgery, my bilirubin keeps getting higher. I saw my lab results before my bariatric surgeon did. I printed the results, wrote a note to my regular nurse practitioner, and dropped them off at her office. She called a couple hours later and agreed that we need to do an ultrasound to check my gallbladder and liver out. I did that Tuesday and was told that the results would not be available until Friday. Except now it is Wednesday, the next day, and I get a text that my results were available online. Again, I saw the results before either my general nurse practitioner or the bariatric surgeon. And what I read was devastating. My liver and gallbladder are just fine (weird... so why is my bilirubin elevated?). But I have a fairly large mass in my Left Kidney! I have a flippin TUMOR in my kidney! And they recommended on my report that I get a CT Scan or an MRI to further assess it. They used 2 terms to describe what kind of mass it appears to be. Both terms used, are the kind of masses that are cancerous 85% of the time. And even if it ISN'T cancer.... the mass is big enough that I know the first line of treatment is either a partial or total nephrectomy. Holy Crap. Add to that, I know that my grandfather wasn't much older than me when he had kidney cancer and had HIS left kidney removed. And I figure out all of this within 5 minutes, because as a Registered Nurse I already know too much. Still... I keep my **** together and calmly (but unnerved) drive home. I get home, I refill my Water, I sit for a minute quitely before I call my husband over to talk. He is a Registered Nurse too... and I told him there is a mass on my Kidney and he made the same assessment I did... only he is much more panicked about it than I am. He wants to rush over to the nurse practitioners office NOW. I told him I want to wait a little bit so she can have time to look at the report first. Then I noticed a missed call from her. How I missed it, is beyond me... but she must have called in the 1 - 1 minute dead zone on my way home. What luck. And BTW, she doesn't make patient phone calls normally DURING her work schedule... she calls after she sees all her patients for the day. I know this because that is when she ALWAYS calls me for results. This was unusual for her. I knew she was worried before I even spoke to her. I called back and got a voicemail. (husband still panicking and wanting to rush over). I called a couple more times and got through to her. Instead of waiting for her to slowly break the news... I let her know I just saw the report and I know I had a mass on my kidney and that my liver and gallbladder were fine. This helped speed up her getting to the point... I needed a CT Scan and a referral to a specialist. She was at the same conclusion I was... it is a tumor and there is a good chance it is cancerous. I don't think she was going to say the "C" word yet... but after I mentioned it, she agreed. Now... my referrals always take a week. ALWAYS take a week to get back so I can schedule an appointment. So, I asked my husband if we can go for a walk somewhere. Well THAT was a disaster lol... because I got several calls from the referral lady and within an hour or so of my phone call to the NP about the results... I was running to the radiology office to pick up barium to drink for my CT scan on FRIDAY. Friday. The day I was supposed to be getting these results back, and now I am going in for a CT Scan already. Talk about FAST RESPONSE! The fact that she rushed this so much and managed to get me in to the radiologist office so soon just confirms how worried my NP really is, so that is totally stressful! Still don't know what specialist I will be seeing, but by the time I get that referral I will have results in hand from the scan, so that is good.

On the plus side... I already know the rest of my abdominal organs are fine according to the Ultrasound. The CT scan will look more closely at all of it... but I don't have any reason to believe if it IS cancer that it metastasized. But now I have to gear up to drink a ton of barium (um... no clue how I will get this all in... I am only 6 months post op!). And now I have to deal with a tumor that could be cancerous and I might need a kidney partially or completely removed. Chemo is very unlikely, but radiation or other treatments might be needed. And on top of all that I still need an MRI for my L Knee because I might have a torn meniscus that might need surgery and definitely need physical therapy. And I am SUPPOSED to walk across Spain starting May 25th. Yay me. I thought I was THISCLOSE to being healthy again and all this **** happens! And how much you want to bet the Coronavirus hits my city hard right about the same time I need 1-2 more surgeries! Not afraid of the Coronavirus... except my immune system will be already under attack if I need a kidney removed!

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Yes that looks like a long day foir sure = Do not panic yet See what they find out after more tests. Could be as simple as a fat tumor and be removed easy.

Hope it all wor4ks out for you

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I'm so sorry to hear this news!!! ((hugs)) I'm not gonna tell you not to panic...I do know that kidneys and livers both get a lot of "incidentalomas" on them. I have two of them on my adrenals that have been there for years. But I think we instinctively know when we get a result like that...especially with your family history. I just also want to encourage you to strive for positivity as you process this challenge.

It will be one of the hardest years of your life, but you CAN survive this! I had a very similar thing happen to me with my BCdx eight years ago. The PA called on Good Friday...ugh. Just so so sad to hear this news. Wish I could do something for you.

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Momof3_angels, I’m sending you Love, Light and Prayer that Miracles happen here, and you find Wonder at each and every turn. Please, please keep us posted, and breathe....💝!

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What scary news. It is a bit of a blessing and a curse I guess to be medically so astute! However you sound like you have pretty amazing medical providers, which will undoubtedly help going through this.

I hope you are in the 15%, of course. But if it is cancer, you know that it is a world away from the old days where treatment was so limited. I wish you, and your family, strength and hope as you walk this path.

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Thanks! Just so you know, I really am not panicking. I am still hopeful that even if it IS cancer, I strongly believe we caught it early. I really am not (very) symptomatic. There are a couple things that this could explain... but when I go through the symptom list I don't have almost all of them. I also figure the U/S didn't show other masses, so there is a good chance that there is no metastasis, but they will look for that with the CT scan. And the size of the mass is large and very suspicious... but it could still fall into the "Stage 1" category. Meaning surgical removal only... and I am cool with that. I mean, obviously I would prefer to keep both kidneys, but I know I could live a long and healthy life with just one.

But I am glad I could vent here... not really ready to talk to real life people I know (well, you are real people... but I don't personally know you so that makes it easier to express my frustration lol)

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You sound/read that you still have it together despite this crappy news, which speaks volumes to the constructive way you will likely deal with anything that comes at you. I think the fact that you have a medical background is a benefit to you to stay level headed.

Vent away, lady. ❤️ Whatever you need.

P.S. Sending you good thoughts....

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Don't freak yourself out ( easier said than done, I know) Last year they found a mass on my kidney as well. I have a a Bosniak type IIF cyst on my left kidney which they say they don't need to watch, even though it is half the size of my kidney. Anyway, please let us know what they find out and I will pray for you in the meantime. Hugs!

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Don't freak yourself out ( easier said than done, I know) Last year they found a mass on my kidney as well. I have a a Bosniak type IIF cyst on my left kidney which they say they don't need to watch, even though it is half the size of my kidney. Anyway, please let us know what they find out and I will pray for you in the meantime. Hugs!

Glad yours is doing OK!

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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6 hours ago, momof3_angels said:

So, yesterday was my 6 month gastric surgery anniversary. And Holy Crap. Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I started the day feeling pretty good. Went to the Cardiologist. He was so happy for my weight loss. He wanted me to lose weight, but didn't know about the VSG. He was impressed with how much weight I lost so fast. He also commented I look great and was shocked I don't look "sickly" at all due to the rapid weight loss like many patients he sees. He was thrilled with my increased physical activity and my plans to hike the "Camino de Santiago" in Spain this summer. (It is a "pilgrimage" where you walk literally across Northern Spain or another route to Santiago de Compostela). We discussed my tachycardia and sometimes low blood pressure. He is having me reduce my dosage to half a pill (YAY!). We discussed my cholesterol and medication for it. I told him of my desire to attempt to go off it for a while to see if I can keep my lipid panel numbers in check without it now that I lost all my excess weight and am eating much healthier. We agreed that I will stay on it for 6 more months and then do labs. If my numbers are good, he will let me go off them and see how my labs hold up. I acknowledged to him that I know if they do go back on them, then I will have to take it for the rest of my life... he was happy with that compromise. On top of all that already great news... I asked him about my EKG which I had already looked at myself (I am a former trauma nurse, I know how to read them). He confirmed what I already knew... my EKG was NORMAL!!! Now this is HUGE because the reason I decided to look into WLS in the first point was because I was worried about my heart. At my appointment with him in fall 2018, my EKG showed that I had an enlarged Left Ventrical for the first time. I had an echocardiogram several months later that confirmed the EKG findings. THIS is the reason I insisted on getting weight loss surgery in the first place. My heart was working too hard and was beginning to enlarge. This was unacceptable. This was my reason to stop "trying" to lose weight and for making sure I "did" lose weight. So here I am... 1 1/2 years after identifying that my heart was enlarging.... and all my excess weight is GONE and my enlarged heart is GONE TOO! OMG, I left the cardiologist office on such a high note, I practically floated home lol. And I called my husband with so much excitement. It was a great day. Until.....

During the drive home from my cardiologist I got an e-mail from the radiology office. I saw the e-mail when I stopped to exchange some pants at Old Navy. Some of you may recall I posted recently that my bilirubin levels had been rising since surgery. I normally have a high normal to slightly high bilirubin level. It is something that I have monitored my entire adult life. But since surgery, my bilirubin keeps getting higher. I saw my lab results before my bariatric surgeon did. I printed the results, wrote a note to my regular nurse practitioner, and dropped them off at her office. She called a couple hours later and agreed that we need to do an ultrasound to check my gallbladder and liver out. I did that Tuesday and was told that the results would not be available until Friday. Except now it is Wednesday, the next day, and I get a text that my results were available online. Again, I saw the results before either my general nurse practitioner or the bariatric surgeon. And what I read was devastating. My liver and gallbladder are just fine (weird... so why is my bilirubin elevated?). But I have a fairly large mass in my Left Kidney! I have a flippin TUMOR in my kidney! And they recommended on my report that I get a CT Scan or an MRI to further assess it. They used 2 terms to describe what kind of mass it appears to be. Both terms used, are the kind of masses that are cancerous 85% of the time. And even if it ISN'T cancer.... the mass is big enough that I know the first line of treatment is either a partial or total nephrectomy. Holy Crap. Add to that, I know that my grandfather wasn't much older than me when he had kidney cancer and had HIS left kidney removed. And I figure out all of this within 5 minutes, because as a Registered Nurse I already know too much. Still... I keep my **** together and calmly (but unnerved) drive home. I get home, I refill my Water, I sit for a minute quitely before I call my husband over to talk. He is a Registered Nurse too... and I told him there is a mass on my Kidney and he made the same assessment I did... only he is much more panicked about it than I am. He wants to rush over to the nurse practitioners office NOW. I told him I want to wait a little bit so she can have time to look at the report first. Then I noticed a missed call from her. How I missed it, is beyond me... but she must have called in the 1 - 1 minute dead zone on my way home. What luck. And BTW, she doesn't make patient phone calls normally DURING her work schedule... she calls after she sees all her patients for the day. I know this because that is when she ALWAYS calls me for results. This was unusual for her. I knew she was worried before I even spoke to her. I called back and got a voicemail. (husband still panicking and wanting to rush over). I called a couple more times and got through to her. Instead of waiting for her to slowly break the news... I let her know I just saw the report and I know I had a mass on my kidney and that my liver and gallbladder were fine. This helped speed up her getting to the point... I needed a CT Scan and a referral to a specialist. She was at the same conclusion I was... it is a tumor and there is a good chance it is cancerous. I don't think she was going to say the "C" word yet... but after I mentioned it, she agreed. Now... my referrals always take a week. ALWAYS take a week to get back so I can schedule an appointment. So, I asked my husband if we can go for a walk somewhere. Well THAT was a disaster lol... because I got several calls from the referral lady and within an hour or so of my phone call to the NP about the results... I was running to the radiology office to pick up barium to drink for my CT scan on FRIDAY. Friday. The day I was supposed to be getting these results back, and now I am going in for a CT Scan already. Talk about FAST RESPONSE! The fact that she rushed this so much and managed to get me in to the radiologist office so soon just confirms how worried my NP really is, so that is totally stressful! Still don't know what specialist I will be seeing, but by the time I get that referral I will have results in hand from the scan, so that is good.

On the plus side... I already know the rest of my abdominal organs are fine according to the Ultrasound. The CT scan will look more closely at all of it... but I don't have any reason to believe if it IS cancer that it metastasized. But now I have to gear up to drink a ton of barium (um... no clue how I will get this all in... I am only 6 months post op!). And now I have to deal with a tumor that could be cancerous and I might need a kidney partially or completely removed. Chemo is very unlikely, but radiation or other treatments might be needed. And on top of all that I still need an MRI for my L Knee because I might have a torn meniscus that might need surgery and definitely need physical therapy. And I am SUPPOSED to walk across Spain starting May 25th. Yay me. I thought I was THISCLOSE to being healthy again and all this **** happens! And how much you want to bet the Coronavirus hits my city hard right about the same time I need 1-2 more surgeries! Not afraid of the Coronavirus... except my immune system will be already under attack if I need a kidney removed!

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That is a lot on your plate. You sound like an amazingly strong person with a great support team. Just know there will be a lot of be sending prayers and love ❤️.

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Had my stat CT scan yesterday. They said my results should be sent to my PCP within 2-3 hours. I waited 6 hours and stopprd at the PCP's office and they didnt get the results, so now I have to wait until Monday. I left and was so upset that I cant find out for 3 more days. *sigh* And of course now I cant help but wonder.... were they just too busy to finish the report? Of are the results more complicated and they need more time to review the images? Yes, head games have begun. I woukd have been much better off getting the resukts now, good or bad.. . So my imagination doesnt get carried away. *sigh*

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 3/5/2020 at 5:57 AM, momof3_angels said:

So, yesterday was my 6 month gastric surgery anniversary. And Holy Crap. Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I started the day feeling pretty good. Went to the Cardiologist. He was so happy for my weight loss. He wanted me to lose weight, but didn't know about the VSG. He was impressed with how much weight I lost so fast. He also commented I look great and was shocked I don't look "sickly" at all due to the rapid weight loss like many patients he sees. He was thrilled with my increased physical activity and my plans to hike the "Camino de Santiago" in Spain this summer. (It is a "pilgrimage" where you walk literally across Northern Spain or another route to Santiago de Compostela). We discussed my tachycardia and sometimes low blood pressure. He is having me reduce my dosage to half a pill (YAY!). We discussed my cholesterol and medication for it. I told him of my desire to attempt to go off it for a while to see if I can keep my lipid panel numbers in check without it now that I lost all my excess weight and am eating much healthier. We agreed that I will stay on it for 6 more months and then do labs. If my numbers are good, he will let me go off them and see how my labs hold up. I acknowledged to him that I know if they do go back on them, then I will have to take it for the rest of my life... he was happy with that compromise. On top of all that already great news... I asked him about my EKG which I had already looked at myself (I am a former trauma nurse, I know how to read them). He confirmed what I already knew... my EKG was NORMAL!!! Now this is HUGE because the reason I decided to look into WLS in the first point was because I was worried about my heart. At my appointment with him in fall 2018, my EKG showed that I had an enlarged Left Ventrical for the first time. I had an echocardiogram several months later that confirmed the EKG findings. THIS is the reason I insisted on getting weight loss surgery in the first place. My heart was working too hard and was beginning to enlarge. This was unacceptable. This was my reason to stop "trying" to lose weight and for making sure I "did" lose weight. So here I am... 1 1/2 years after identifying that my heart was enlarging.... and all my excess weight is GONE and my enlarged heart is GONE TOO! OMG, I left the cardiologist office on such a high note, I practically floated home lol. And I called my husband with so much excitement. It was a great day. Until.....

During the drive home from my cardiologist I got an e-mail from the radiology office. I saw the e-mail when I stopped to exchange some pants at Old Navy. Some of you may recall I posted recently that my bilirubin levels had been rising since surgery. I normally have a high normal to slightly high bilirubin level. It is something that I have monitored my entire adult life. But since surgery, my bilirubin keeps getting higher. I saw my lab results before my bariatric surgeon did. I printed the results, wrote a note to my regular nurse practitioner, and dropped them off at her office. She called a couple hours later and agreed that we need to do an ultrasound to check my gallbladder and liver out. I did that Tuesday and was told that the results would not be available until Friday. Except now it is Wednesday, the next day, and I get a text that my results were available online. Again, I saw the results before either my general nurse practitioner or the bariatric surgeon. And what I read was devastating. My liver and gallbladder are just fine (weird... so why is my bilirubin elevated?). But I have a fairly large mass in my Left Kidney! I have a flippin TUMOR in my kidney! And they recommended on my report that I get a CT Scan or an MRI to further assess it. They used 2 terms to describe what kind of mass it appears to be. Both terms used, are the kind of masses that are cancerous 85% of the time. And even if it ISN'T cancer.... the mass is big enough that I know the first line of treatment is either a partial or total nephrectomy. Holy Crap. Add to that, I know that my grandfather wasn't much older than me when he had kidney cancer and had HIS left kidney removed. And I figure out all of this within 5 minutes, because as a Registered Nurse I already know too much. Still... I keep my **** together and calmly (but unnerved) drive home. I get home, I refill my Water, I sit for a minute quitely before I call my husband over to talk. He is a Registered Nurse too... and I told him there is a mass on my Kidney and he made the same assessment I did... only he is much more panicked about it than I am. He wants to rush over to the nurse practitioners office NOW. I told him I want to wait a little bit so she can have time to look at the report first. Then I noticed a missed call from her. How I missed it, is beyond me... but she must have called in the 1 - 1 minute dead zone on my way home. What luck. And BTW, she doesn't make patient phone calls normally DURING her work schedule... she calls after she sees all her patients for the day. I know this because that is when she ALWAYS calls me for results. This was unusual for her. I knew she was worried before I even spoke to her. I called back and got a voicemail. (husband still panicking and wanting to rush over). I called a couple more times and got through to her. Instead of waiting for her to slowly break the news... I let her know I just saw the report and I know I had a mass on my kidney and that my liver and gallbladder were fine. This helped speed up her getting to the point... I needed a CT Scan and a referral to a specialist. She was at the same conclusion I was... it is a tumor and there is a good chance it is cancerous. I don't think she was going to say the "C" word yet... but after I mentioned it, she agreed. Now... my referrals always take a week. ALWAYS take a week to get back so I can schedule an appointment. So, I asked my husband if we can go for a walk somewhere. Well THAT was a disaster lol... because I got several calls from the referral lady and within an hour or so of my phone call to the NP about the results... I was running to the radiology office to pick up barium to drink for my CT scan on FRIDAY. Friday. The day I was supposed to be getting these results back, and now I am going in for a CT Scan already. Talk about FAST RESPONSE! The fact that she rushed this so much and managed to get me in to the radiologist office so soon just confirms how worried my NP really is, so that is totally stressful! Still don't know what specialist I will be seeing, but by the time I get that referral I will have results in hand from the scan, so that is good.

On the plus side... I already know the rest of my abdominal organs are fine according to the Ultrasound. The CT scan will look more closely at all of it... but I don't have any reason to believe if it IS cancer that it metastasized. But now I have to gear up to drink a ton of barium (um... no clue how I will get this all in... I am only 6 months post op!). And now I have to deal with a tumor that could be cancerous and I might need a kidney partially or completely removed. Chemo is very unlikely, but radiation or other treatments might be needed. And on top of all that I still need an MRI for my L Knee because I might have a torn meniscus that might need surgery and definitely need physical therapy. And I am SUPPOSED to walk across Spain starting May 25th. Yay me. I thought I was THISCLOSE to being healthy again and all this **** happens! And how much you want to bet the Coronavirus hits my city hard right about the same time I need 1-2 more surgeries! Not afraid of the Coronavirus... except my immune system will be already under attack if I need a kidney removed!

So sorry you’re going through this! I can kind of relate-I had a scare last year with a pancreatic cyst, then found out it was on my kidney & the doctors really scared me by throwing are the “C” word. However, with a bunch of MRIs & lab work they discovered it was nonmalignant. I really hope things get better! Even though you got that shock, remember those successes! Easier said than done, I know.. but they still mean a lot! Be well ❤️

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9 hours ago, danielleleigh90 said:

So sorry you’re going through this! I can kind of relate-I had a scare last year with a pancreatic cyst, then found out it was on my kidney & the doctors really scared me by throwing are the “C” word. However, with a bunch of MRIs & lab work they discovered it was nonmalignant. I really hope things get better! Even though you got that shock, remember those successes! Easier said than done, I know.. but they still mean a lot! Be well ❤️

Glad yours turned out OK!

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2 hours ago, momof3_angels said:

Glad yours turned out OK!

Thank you! I hope yours does as well. Last year it was just fine then in the process of my preop I had another doctor scare the life out of me having me believe it was something bad... Whats interesting is like you, there is a family history. My mom has one & so does my grandma! I’ll be praying for you!

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