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I finally get why people dont tell others they had weight loss surgery!



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I didn't understand why some people didn't want there families to know they had WLS . I do now! Last night at a family get together everyone is around the counter getting there pizza and whatnot. I grabbed a tiny piece of french bread and took out the middle thats wonderfully soft. Everyone said you cant eat that. I said ohh yes i can. Then my sis said dont you dare eat that. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth :) it was great! I should of put "i cant believe its not butter spray on it". In that moment my eyes are opened to all the judement you get. People who know you had something to help u lose weight watch you. Everything i put in my mouth there judging me thinking im not taking this weight loss seriously. Its annoying! They all make me want to hide in the bathroom and pig out! I didnt but wanted too. Lol.

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I am sooooo glad I told no one except my husband, 2 adult kids, my brother and a nurse I needed to change work days with, and she was sworn to confidentiality. I didn't even tell my own parents. I needed a small group that I knew would be supportive and not judgmental - people who have seen my struggle over the years and would stand beside me in this surgery.

What I am really getting tired of is people continually coming up to me and asking what I did to lose the weight. Why is MY weight loss their business????? I tell them that I have made some major lifestyle changes in diet and exercise, which is perfectly true. If they ask for specifics, I tell them, "No wheat, no sugar, no caffeine, no soda (diet or regular), no juice, no alcohol, no processed food, no artificial colors/sweetners/flavors, intermittant fasting, and a lot more exercise." Their eyes glaze over either with the sugar or the alcohol. NOT A SINGLE PERSON HAS ASKED ANY FURTHER - THEY WALK OFF. EVERYONE WANTS A MAGIC PILL. If there was an obese person who was sincerely looking for answers and was willing to start making serious lifestyle changes, I might consider offering WLS as a suggestion to investigate. But I have not seen that person yet. It makes me realize that we here are a very small group of brave, courageous individuals who truly are willing to put it all down, make the sacrifices, and do the hard work for lifelong changes and health. We are few, I believe, when considering the general population.

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I see 2 issues here.

Them telling you that you couldn’t eat it and you eating it as though responding to a dare. You need to be careful doing that it could lead to issues.

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On 07/04/2019 at 13:03, BlueAngelEyes said:



I didn't understand why some people didn't want there families to know they had WLS . I do now! Last night at a family get together everyone is around the counter getting there pizza and whatnot. I grabbed a tiny piece of french bread and took out the middle thats wonderfully soft. Everyone said you cant eat that. I said ohh yes i can. Then my sis said dont you dare eat that. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth :) it was great! I should of put "i cant believe its not butter spray on it". In that moment my eyes are opened to all the judement you get. People who know you had something to help u lose weight watch you. Everything i put in my mouth there judging me thinking im not taking this weight loss seriously. Its annoying! They all make me want to hide in the bathroom and pig out! I didnt but wanted too. Lol.






When I read your post I didn’t find it as judgement I found it as accountability. Because they know you had a procedure they they they need to keep you accountable for what you eat. There attentions I don’t think we’re to judge you but to help you and help you make good choices in what you choose to eat.

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On 07/04/2019 at 13:03, BlueAngelEyes said:



I didn't understand why some people didn't want there families to know they had WLS . I do now! Last night at a family get together everyone is around the counter getting there pizza and whatnot. I grabbed a tiny piece of french bread and took out the middle thats wonderfully soft. Everyone said you cant eat that. I said ohh yes i can. Then my sis said dont you dare eat that. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth :) it was great! I should of put "i cant believe its not butter spray on it". In that moment my eyes are opened to all the judement you get. People who know you had something to help u lose weight watch you. Everything i put in my mouth there judging me thinking im not taking this weight loss seriously. Its annoying! They all make me want to hide in the bathroom and pig out! I didnt but wanted too. Lol.






But I do understand how you may have received that as judgement. Like for me I’m telling everyone for them to keep me accountable for my choices of what i choose to eat and family or friend gatherings but I know you probably didn’t ask your family to keep you accountable and just wanted them to know about your procedure you had done.

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Everyone thinks they are an expert. You know your body better than anyone else. If you fell off the horse you can always get right back on. If its a banished food for you then you should know.

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You are right, no one needs a food cop (especially if they have no education or experience to bring). WLS patients need to be accountable to themselves because that is where it matters, no one else can do it for you. You have to trust yourself. Do you need someone to tell you to brush your teeth or take a shower? Are you 10 years old?

Everyone knows what to eat, and everyone must learn to navigate the journey.

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Ive pretty much told everybody i was doing a weight loss surgery. My husband mentioned to me yesterday that on a conference call for work a bunch of people asked how my recovery was going and if im doing ok. I was like ooh u told them he said yes they ask how u are doing all the time.. all i can think is dang it now i have to be the ones that loses the weight and keeps it off just to prove it is successful.. i guess its alittle motivating knowing i dont want to be that person who screws it all up and does it all for nothing.

WLS is not a easy way out what most people think.

My sister knows a few people, personal friends who had a WLS and gained it all back soo i have promised myself i will not be one of those people. Im a month out weighing 209, day of surgery 237 so think im doing good cant wait to be under 200..

I hope sence everyone knows i had this surgery in time i can be more help to people who have weight issues. who can learn from what ive done and be inspired so to speak.. will see i have a long way to go :)

relating to my first post above. I do kinda wish my family didnt know so much because some say its not them judging but them being helpful i guess but i feel like the way my family is there just super judgie with everything. Everyone asked me for the fourth of July do u want me to make sugarfree or some artificial sweetner lemonade slushie for u sence they were having the good stuff i said no im good thank you i just had 2 sips of my husbands it was good! I dont want to feel different or that people need to alter recipes for me. I had a bite of bbq rips wish i could of had more but new better.

Before i did this surgery I hear from my sis that my good days looking good are behind me to embrace my (fat) body cause ill never look as good as i once did. I hate what she said and normally it would make me depressed and wanting to binge eat which at the time i did and was sad but because the weight is coming off now on the scale im using it to motivate me to stick it too her and show her i can be just as cute and sexy as i once was. Lol. Ive become more competitive with myself.

If only i had a time machine to go back and change so many things. Did it done it, theres nothing i can do about it now. Oh well! :)

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2 hours ago, BlueAngelEyes said:

Ive pretty much told everybody i was doing a weight loss surgery. My husband mentioned to me yesterday that on a conference call for work a bunch of people asked how my recovery was going and if im doing ok. I was like ooh u told them he said yes they ask how u are doing all the time.. all i can think is dang it now i have to be the ones that loses the weight and keeps it off just to prove it is successful.. i guess its alittle motivating knowing i dont want to be that person who screws it all up and does it all for nothing.

WLS is not a easy way out what most people think.

My sister knows a few people, personal friends who had a WLS and gained it all back soo i have promised myself i will not be one of those people. Im a month out weighing 209, day of surgery 237 so think im doing good cant wait to be under 200..

I hope sence everyone knows i had this surgery in time i can be more help to people who have weight issues. who can learn from what ive done and be inspired so to speak.. will see i have a long way to go :)

relating to my first post above. I do kinda wish my family didnt know so much because some say its not them judging but them being helpful i guess but i feel like the way my family is there just super judgie with everything. Everyone asked me for the fourth of July do u want me to make sugarfree or some artificial sweetner lemonade slushie for u sence they were having the good stuff i said no im good thank you i just had 2 sips of my husbands it was good! I dont want to feel different or that people need to alter recipes for me. I had a bite of bbq rips wish i could of had more but new better.

Before i did this surgery I hear from my sis that my good days looking good are behind me to embrace my (fat) body cause ill never look as good as i once did. I hate what she said and normally it would make me depressed and wanting to binge eat which at the time i did and was sad but because the weight is coming off now on the scale im using it to motivate me to stick it too her and show her i can be just as cute and sexy as i once was. Lol. Ive become more competitive with myself.

If only i had a time machine to go back and change so many things. Did it done it, theres nothing i can do about it now. Oh well! :)

Wow your sister sounds like a petty b****. Be successful and happy and confident and PROVE HER WRONG! Best revenge there is!

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2 hours ago, BlueAngelEyes said:

Ive pretty much told everybody i was doing a weight loss surgery. My husband mentioned to me yesterday that on a conference call for work a bunch of people asked how my recovery was going and if im doing ok. I was like ooh u told them he said yes they ask how u are doing all the time.. all i can think is dang it now i have to be the ones that loses the weight and keeps it off just to prove it is successful.. i guess its alittle motivating knowing i dont want to be that person who screws it all up and does it all for nothing.

WLS is not a easy way out what most people think.

My sister knows a few people, personal friends who had a WLS and gained it all back soo i have promised myself i will not be one of those people. Im a month out weighing 209, day of surgery 237 so think im doing good cant wait to be under 200..

I hope sence everyone knows i had this surgery in time i can be more help to people who have weight issues. who can learn from what ive done and be inspired so to speak.. will see i have a long way to go :)

relating to my first post above. I do kinda wish my family didnt know so much because some say its not them judging but them being helpful i guess but i feel like the way my family is there just super judgie with everything. Everyone asked me for the fourth of July do u want me to make sugarfree or some artificial sweetner lemonade slushie for u sence they were having the good stuff i said no im good thank you i just had 2 sips of my husbands it was good! I dont want to feel different or that people need to alter recipes for me. I had a bite of bbq rips wish i could of had more but new better.

Before i did this surgery I hear from my sis that my good days looking good are behind me to embrace my (fat) body cause ill never look as good as i once did. I hate what she said and normally it would make me depressed and wanting to binge eat which at the time i did and was sad but because the weight is coming off now on the scale im using it to motivate me to stick it too her and show her i can be just as cute and sexy as i once was. Lol. Ive become more competitive with myself.

If only i had a time machine to go back and change so many things. Did it done it, theres nothing i can do about it now. Oh well! :)

My sister in law had the same attitude as your sister.

Anger can be great motivation. I placed my sister in laws photo on my treadmill for a month. Her comment to me was “you know you are just going to gain it all back” Five year out still maintaining. Prove the haters wrong.

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21 hours ago, AZhiker said:

Why is MY weight loss their business?????

I think people give a rat's ass about your or my or anybody else's weight loss. They simply want to know your strategy so they can use it to lose weight, too.

Quote

If they ask for specifics, I tell them, "No wheat, no sugar, no caffeine, no soda (diet or regular), no juice, no alcohol, no processed food, no artificial colors/sweetners/flavors, intermittant fasting, and a lot more exercise."

Oh, it seems like you forgot to mention the game changing thing here.

Quote

NOT A SINGLE PERSON HAS ASKED ANY FURTHER

Maybe they were too polite to ask any further. Maybe they were also smelling some kind of bullshit.

Quote

If there was an obese person who was sincerely looking for answers and was willing to start making serious lifestyle changes, I might consider offering WLS as a suggestion to investigate. But I have not seen that person yet. It makes me realize that we here are a very small group of brave, courageous individuals who truly are willing to put it all down, make the sacrifices, and do the hard work for lifelong changes and health. We are few, I believe, when considering the general population.

Pretty judgmental. Must be that high horse you're riding on right now. GL...

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I hate food police. This is why I don’t wanna tell a lot of people. Some people have nothing better to do then judge and examine other people’s lives. Super annoying. Where I work people gossip too much so I’m really avoiding telling anyone there!

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On 7/4/2019 at 4:03 PM, BlueAngelEyes said:

I didn't understand why some people didn't want there families to know they had WLS . I do now! Last night at a family get together everyone is around the counter getting there pizza and whatnot. I grabbed a tiny piece of french bread and took out the middle thats wonderfully soft. Everyone said you cant eat that. I said ohh yes i can. Then my sis said dont you dare eat that. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth :) it was great! I should of put "i cant believe its not butter spray on it". In that moment my eyes are opened to all the judement you get. People who know you had something to help u lose weight watch you. Everything i put in my mouth there judging me thinking im not taking this weight loss seriously. Its annoying! They all make me want to hide in the bathroom and pig out! I didnt but wanted too. Lol.

I got that from my brother today -_-.

He saw me scrambling 1 single solitary egg earlier and tried to turn the stove off while I was cooking also what I call tell-asking (sounds like they're asking you but they're telling you) "it's too soon for you to be eating eggs".

I was like "I LITERALLY just got approved from my dietitian AND my surgeon today to start reintroducing soft soft foods and I think they know better than you" -_-.

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Be careful on eggs they are rough the first time but will be much better in 2 weeks or so.

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