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Has anyone kept their surgery a secret?



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Yeah, this is going to be very different for every person. I've told anyone who asks. I'm not private or shy or anything. I'm not embarrassed that I had the surgery. Usually when someone asks how I've lost weight, I explain that I had the sleeve surgery and I've changed the way that I eat. I've dropped 190 pounds in like 15 months, so a lot of people have noticed lol

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I told my brother and SIL (not the rest of my family), 2 friends, and 2 people at work who kind of need to know. Other than that, I haven't told anyone. I've lost almost 60 lbs (including weight lost before surgery) and nobody has asked. Of course, my staff also knows how I feel about discussing other people's bodies at work because of an incident last year, so I doubt they'd say anything to me.

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Family, two ladies in a covenant group at church, and the women I share an office with know. I wanted to be sure the people I have around me all the time knew so they would hold me accountable and also not try to get me to eat all the office sweets

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using BariatricPal mobile app

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Only my husband and mom know and I don't plan on telling anyone else. People are ignorant about the surgery and are judgemental about it, and I don't need negativity, nor do I need anyone asking a million questions. I don't like discussing my personal health issues with anyone.

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I am new to this forum, but am keeping my surgery a secret. I had my procedure done on 12/19. I made it through a Christmas Eve dinner without telling my in-laws (who I dislike), just attributing not eating to a stomach bug.

It can be done! I think you will know if keeping it a secret is right for you!

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If people wish to ask me about it, I am pretty honest about the surgery. I have a lot of responsibility at work and I'm close to the people in my department, so when they found out I was going out for surgery - there were a lot of questions and concerns. Thankfully, they've been very supportive (even if they had a lot of questions about the surgery itself.)

I am a very private person and I know that what I do is no one's business but my own. . . but I feel that honesty in this situation is the best course of action for me. My office is full of gossip and I'd rather be straight forward versus leaving people to wonder. If they are negative about the surgery, well that's definitely on them.

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I'm super proud of this decision. It is a very difficult step to take. I essentially thought I was saying goodbye to the thing I loved most in the world. It took courage to do this. I don't believe the majority of the people in my life would see it this same way. Therefore, I've chosen to keep it a secret for this reason and a few other reasons, but I go to support groups so a whole bunch of strangers know. I'm sure at some point the rest of the world will know too. I'd prefer them not to, but I don't want to risk my success by not attending the support groups.

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I’ve been completely transparent with my decision to have surgery, for several reasons. It took me almost 3 years to make the decision to have surgery because I bought into the lie that weight loss surgery is the easy way out and that it’s something shameful. I was afraid to ask anyone all the questions I had because of fear of judgment or ridicule. When I finally realized that the only thing I was scared of was admitting to myself that I NEEDED the surgery, my mindset completely changed. I would have been given anything to have someone that I could have talked to during those 3 years, who could have helped me on my journey. So I’m sharing everything with anyone who wants to know. I post about it on my social media, my family, friends, and coworkers all know. I am NOT ashamed and, more importantly, I want to help other people. I’ve had 3 different friends start down this road since I started sharing my journey. This was the best decision I ever made and I won’t fuel the negative thoughts or judgements of others by keeping quiet about it. I am PROUD of this decision.

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I have told coworkers and family but I’m hiding from everyone that I’m getting surgery in Mexico. When I initially told them everyone was against it, then I said I’m getting it in San Diego now everyone ok. I don’t like lying I just want them to support my choice and trust that I did all the research

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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