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Please help me, I have terrible regret RNY



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Hi, so I want to share something very personal. I know I will be judged for it but I have no other support. And because I feel like I am protected by this shield of anonymous I hope it will not haunt me but instead help me. I beg for understanding! So as some of you know I had doubts regarding the surgery RNY. I felt like with the support of members I got to the peaceful state of mind, prepared for what I should be eating and not, did quite a bit of research. I have noticed that in Europe (where I am from) there are no specific support groups and these types of surgeries are taboo to talk about, people are looked down for having them. So I haven't told anyone but my immediate family, and I also lied to two of my friends that I will have surgery for health purposes. My family was sceptic but I calmed them down buy telling how great it will be etc. Because I had to pay for the surgery most of the money was kindly given to me buy my mother. The surgeon gave me the date for the surgery in a month. So I felt like it was soon but by that time I felt I was prepared. So on the day of surgery I had doubts but as members said that was normal so I decided to follow through. As soon as I woke up I knew I have made a mistake. I feel like I have betrayed my body, myself, like it was the biggest mistake, irrational decission and that I was failed by the medical system in my country, as the leading up to the surgery is nothing as USA system. Yesterday I came to forum and read about the reversal and all of the horror stories of people getting sick even after years after surgery, fatigued and since that momment I cannot stop shaking inside, I feel paranoyed , so so so anxious, so emotional. I want to scream, I had so many nightmares in one night my heart is rushing. And the worst thing is I cannot tell anyone about how I feel as I don't want to be judged, but most importantly I don't want my family to feel like they let me do this thing to myself, like they have failed me. I know my mother feels so much guilt, as she keeps saying we could have tried harder for you to lose weight without depleating yourself. I am so afraid of becoming low energy, depleated of nutrients. I don't want my gallblader removed, I don't want kidney stones, I don't want the fatigue. I beg of you, please help me, tell me what to do! Has anyone has been in my shoes how have you got to the other side? Please don't judge me. Is the reversal possible? Would I be just like before? How iften does the complications occur? How long will I feel this way? I know I sound like the most stupid person in the universe.

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Reversals are only done under extreme circumstances for reasons of medical necessity.

When was your surgery. Anaesthesia can cause a person to have all sorts of emotional swings.

Once you start healing and losing you will look back at this and laugh.

Long term serious complications are far more rare than the complications from being obese. Take your Vitamins, follow your drs recommendations, eat what you are supposed to and you will be fine.

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I had my surgery on 20th of Dec. If I would decide to do the reversal would I be the same? Would I develop health problem, or would I be the same as prior to the RNY?

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Complications from obesity include

High blood pressure

Increased risk of stroke and heart attack

Diabetes

Increased risk of cancer

Joint issues

Back problems

Just to name a few.

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You are in the thick of it right now. Sore, in pain, unable to eat. Yes, this part is bad! No doubt about it. But each day gets easier, just take it one step at a time. Your body needs a full 6 weeks to heal. Now is not the time to be thinking about another surgery. Allow your mind and body time to make peace with what has been done. Trust me, it gets so much better! -91 lbs, surgery was done on July 10th : )

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They aren’t going to do a reversal because you changed your mind 1 day after surgery. You have to have serious medical complications for that I believe. And I seriously doubt people who get reversals are anywhere close to what they were pre surgery.

Take some deep breaths. Allow yourself time to heal. All these things you are worried about (fatigue and low energy) go away after a short while for the vast majority. Gallstones sometimes happens in rapid weight loss including in people who didn’t have wls. I don’t think kidney stones are a super common thing with this surgery.

Yes there are some horror stories on here, but they are very few when compared to the positive experiences. You seem to be hyper focused on the 0.5% of people w bad outcomes. Try to refocus. Read all the stories on here of people who say this was the best decision of their life. Give the surgery a chance. You went this route for a reason. I think you will really be happy when the weights starts to come off. Best of luck!

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2 hours ago, RuthD said:

So on the day of surgery I had doubts but as members said that was normal so I decided to follow through.

This is the problem with seeking validation from strangers to decide if you are making the right decision for your health. If you had doubts about following through with surgery you should have discussed with your surgical team or if you were not mentally prepared then it was not the right time for you to follow through with it.

Of your only negative side effect so far from your surgery is fear regarding what has happened to others, stop reading about it. You don’t know these people. You don’t know what their diets were. You don’t know if they are compliant with their Vitamin regimen or not. You do not know if they are regularly following up with the appropriate medical providers, or if they waited until there was a problem to see someone.

Stop reading the negative crap and put yourself in a positive frame of mind.

No one is going to do a complicated reversal procedure unless you are deathly ill, and regret is not a life threatening emergency. You are an adult that made a decision, now pull yourself up and remember why you wanted this.

I hope you find the inner peace you need to enjoy your journey with no regrets, truly.

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You had major surgery a mere 2 days ago. Of course, you feel like you were hit by a truck, and the anesthesia really messes with you. You will get steadily better. I had a major turn on day 6 in regards to pain, and as each stage of my diet advanced I felt better. It is not easy, not by a long shot, but IMO, the benefits far outweigh the downsides.

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Right after surgery, I wondered if I did the right thing. It was a little rough and I worried just like you. But each day things slightly improved. It doesn't happen overnight but it is pointed in the right direction. It took a full 6 months before I was really happy with the decision.

Some people right after surgery cannot even get a good nights sleep. Therefore they are deprived of the rest they need to restore their bodies. Some on this site found it easier to sleep on a recliner for a few days. So this site is full of people who lived problems after surgery and found ways to deal with them. So if you have a specific problem put it out there and someone may have a specific answer that will provide relief.

The three most important elements after RNY gastric bypass surgery are to meet your daily Protein, Fluid and Vitamin requirements. food is secondary because your body is converting your stored fat into the energy that drives your body. Thus you lose weight.

Weight loss is achieved after surgery through meal volume control. You begin at 2 ounces (1/4 cup) per meal and gradually over the next year and a half increase the volume to 1 cup per meal. With this minuscule amount of food, it is next to impossible to meet your protein daily requirements by food alone, so therefore you need to rely on supplements such as Protein Shakes.

So hopefully, your surgery team gave you detailed requirements for the various daily vitamin requirement, the fluid requirements and the daily meal volume and food types (liquid, puree, solid) as a function of time. Mine were provided in a 1 inch thick binder. If this was not spelled out in detail, we will try and help.

I wrote a short article about my experiences after surgery. It may help. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf

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PM me if you like. I am one of the ones with a non- traditional healing path post RNY but I dont regret my surgery, other facets of my recovery- yes but I think you need a chum to talk to, RuthD, especially when you feel So Alone in All This!

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I just pray that there are people who felt or are feeling the same way and will come through with their experiences. If I could only take time back... to the morning of the surgery ...
I've had my surgery in 18th with a surprise hiatal hernia repair..I finally broke down and told my oldest daughter after a melt down..I asked her to promise she would not tell a soul.. I feel so betrayed I think she told people..I have no support from my husband he has always made fun of my weight..since I started packing on weight. After 9th child age 41. I PRAYING I heal within this 3 weeks so I can go back to work.. but as of now I'm still moving around slow. Vsg was okay it's the hernia deal that's killing me

Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app

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Think about this.. in all aspects of life.. the only people you see say something for the most part, are those that have issues. Whether it be with surgery, restaurant experiences,shopping online issues.. customer service issues, any issues.. 10 bad to 1 good as the good have no reason to complain, they rarely will say anything.. There is a lot of good out there. This is your journey, not those of others. I saw a post on fb the other day where somebody said.. i have had no issues, am i the only one.. It was nice to see over 100 comments of the same thing.

I for one have had no issues, yes i had the sleeve, but still no issues. No pain issues since awakening in the hospital, no food issues (besides the occasional eating too fast). no Water intake issues.. so there is good out there.. Stop reading what everybody else is going through and focus on what you can do for you. There is so much information on the boards of what happens to others, but that is others, and doesn't necessarily mean you. What you can do with the information is be prepared in case something does happen to you and you will be armed with how to tolerate or handle it which will then make your transition a lot easier.

Good Luck and feel better!

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I am in Switzerland and had the surgery done Dec 18. It is harder in Europe as there are less support systems in place. Hang in there and keep using this forum.

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