I hate when I try to confide in someone and they say "You don't need surgery" … ? I say " Oh yeah...tell that to my bad knees and achy back..You try carrying a 70lb child around everyday" this was how I felt.. Do they really think I haven't tried other ways. Maybe they think WLS is the easy way out. This is why I only told a few selected people. I have enough battles to fight.

My surgery date is October 29 and I have ran into the same issue. I stopped telling people I'm having the sleeve done. (Easy for me as I am having my gall bladder removed at the same time. So I've just been mentioning that and not the sleeve.) Now that I am day 3 of liquid diet, I am ready to just go to bed and sleep till surgery day. Between the hunger pains and the comments about how disappointed people are in my choice, I just am having a difficult time. The worst are the ones who have told me they know I'm going to fail because "if you don't have the willpower before surgery to lose the weight, you're not going to have it after and you're just going to stretch your pouch and gain the weight back." I really don't think I would be able to do this without my husband and kids making our house a support zone for me where I can hide from the nay Sayers. I just joined this page in hopes of finding some answers/support from people who have been in my situation.

The topic of WLS has came up before in casual conversation with family members outside of my house and those that weren't open minded about it, I put on the mushroom list. Feed em full of crap and keep em in the dark. LOL

I totally understand how you feel. I’m facing the same challenge; therefore, I’m only sharing my journey with my husband. My surgery date is 10/29 also. Wishing the best for you, good luck!!

I totally understand how you feel. I’m facing the same challenge; therefore, I’m only sharing my journey with my husband. My surgery date is 10/29 also. Wishing the best for you, good luck!!

My Immediate family is good with this but they know the pain i am in. My bff thinks im crazy so i really wish i had not shared wigb her.

13 hours ago, Granmasleeve said:

I hate when I try to confide in someone and they say "You don't need surgery" … ? I say " Oh yeah...tell that to my bad knees and achy back..You try carrying a 70lb child around everyday" this was how I felt.. Do they really think I haven't tried other ways. Maybe they think WLS is the easy way out. This is why I only told a few selected people. I have enough battles to fight.

I opted to tell exactly 4 people.... My mom, BF, Boss and best friend prior to surgery. I didn't want people knowing why I was out of the office (I only took a week off) and I didn't want snide comments. But what I've learned throughout this entire process is no one knows what you've been through, the struggles you've hit through weight loss, diets dietitians, etc. When I put on my final 50lbs and struggled for years to get it off, through pills, shots, seeing a registered dietitian and trying nearly ever fad diet in between, I decided to check out WLS as a last resort for me. When under the guidance of bariatric dietitian and still failing to lose weight at a normal pace (2lbs per week) - I finally agreed to the WLS. But what I learned about my body in those final 8 months before surgery is priceless. I also believe it set me up for success moving into WLS and the months following.

I still haven't told anyone that I've had WLS, it's no one's business but my own. If people are "watching" me, they will see my diet has changed dramatically (not only portions) but what I actually put into my mouth. So it all plays a vital role in our success.

13 hours ago, Granmasleeve said:

I hate when I try to confide in someone and they say "You don't need surgery" … ? I say " Oh yeah...tell that to my bad knees and achy back..You try carrying a 70lb child around everyday" this was how I felt.. Do they really think I haven't tried other ways. Maybe they think WLS is the easy way out. This is why I only told a few selected people. I have enough battles to fight.

You don't "need" anyone's approval of your decision. No need to defend it to people that don't get it. Understand that the rapid weight loss is hard to hide. People will talk and speculate you had WLS. Ignore the haters and press on with your life. Once your weight loss settles it will no longer be a topic in conversations. Life becomes normal.

I understand completely! I'm having my surgery 10/30 and have kept most of it to myself since i've had people tell me "oh you have no motivation now well then you wont after surgery so its pointless" "or why dont you just diet and lose the weight". so sad to hear people judge my decisions so quick that are supposed to be my friends and be supportive but at the end of the day i have to keep telling myself, im doing this for my body and my mind and not for them

10 minutes ago, sleevegirl88 said:

I understand completely! I'm having my surgery 10/30 and have kept most of it to myself since i've had people tell me "oh you have no motivation now well then you wont after surgery so its pointless" "or why dont you just diet and lose the weight". so sad to hear people judge my decisions so quick that are supposed to be my friends and be supportive but at the end of the day i have to keep telling myself, im doing this for my body and my mind and not for them

Same....some of the criticism was brutal so I just stopped telling people. My husband and kids (thankfully) are supportive but they don't really understand how difficult this journey has been. Outside of them, my family has been a nightmare! One family member even told me I was going to die! That was where I had to stop. I don't want to fight this battle alone but I have to do what is best and I have too many people relying on me now and in the future to keep carrying this extra weight around.

This is why this forum is so important to me. I get the support I need and the doubt lifted. No one understands but me how the battle against my own body has been. I had an opportunity to fix it for good and I took it. I don't want weight to ever be an issue again in my life! I want to live...

11 hours ago, Ed_NW said:

I put on the mushroom list. Feed em full of crap and keep em in the dark. LOL

OMG - too funny. I need to remember this.

But, seriously, I told very few people and those who I told I knew would be supportive (my husband, my two teen daughters and my best friend). All work knew was that I was "having a procedure" by phrasing it that way, they assumed something "female" and no one asked questions. As far as I'm concerned, my medical procedures aren't anyone else's business anyway. Would you tell them if you were going for a pap smear?

I dealt with the dietary restrictions by explaining I was working with some doctors and had been put on a restrictive diet for a medical condition. Period. No one asked anything beyond that.

It's called a support group for a reason. If you think a person might not be supportive of your decision, they don't get into this elite group you created in your head. It's stress management and you're in control.

It's called a support group for a reason. If you think a person might not be supportive of your decision, they don't get into this elite group you created in your head. It's stress management and you're in control.

Just a shame they just dont get it.

It's an easy thing to say when the person is not in your shoes. I was one that believed it was an easy way out until I looked into it and found out what it was and what it entailed. My brother had lap-band and it never quite worked for him. I thought the sleeve was something similar just a bigger "thing" put around your stomach. DUH.... Don't be bothered by what others think or say. What you are doing is for you and only needs to be appreciated by you. If others tag along great, if not they can KICK ROCKS. Best to you on your journey!!!!

Edited October 18, 20187 yr by J San

On 10/17/2018 at 8:14 PM, J San said:

It's an easy thing to say when the person is not in your shoes. I was one that believed it was an easy way out until I looked into it and found out what it was and what it entailed. My brother had lap-band and it never quite worked for him. I thought the sleeve was something similar just a bigger "thing" put around your stomach. DUH.... Don't be bothered by what others think or say. What you are doing is for you and only needs to be appreciated by you. If others tag along great, if not they can KICK ROCKS. Best to you on your journey!!!!

I like the "Kick Rocks" sentiment. I've heard 'you are taking the easy way out' and 'since you have to diet anyway to do the surgery you might as well not have it and keep doing what you are doing' and 'all you need to do is work out regularly' (when I did that and then some additional rigorous work outs before and lost weight and gained it all back). My family doesn't get it that it's not just about that, it's also about being healthy. I have high cholesterol and I'm pre-diabetic and I've done too many diets to count. So, I'm excited for my surgery on Tuesday!

I’ve told many people about my sleeve surgery (10/10/18). Some were supportive and some were not. I found it an excellent tool to weed out the negative people in my life!! If you can’t be happy for me in my journey to get healthy, then I really have no desire to have an ongoing relationship with you! (Thank God it wasn’t anyone like my husband or mother!!) And that is my favorite thing about this group. Everyone is SO supportive of one another and I just LOVE it!! ❤️