How I can eat healthy when my girlfriend doesn't?

[Offingapp 9]

I'm on month 4 of a six month diet and every day exercise routine, and whereas i am nice at understanding daily, I cant ever appear to induce a solid hold on my feeding habits. There is very difficult for me

My girlfriend buys lot of cakes and can sink in with random big boxes of Desserts etc. and my diet instantly goes down the drain whenever this happens. I feel on one hand it's my downside and my diet not theirs, bit I conjointly want it's what is obstructive my journey in weight loss.

I've tried to speak to her and even recommend buy less food to assist keep the dangerous foods clear most of the time bit it gets shrugged off.
What am I able to do to assist this situation?

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[Matt Z 4,138]

26 minutes ago, Offingapp said:

I'm on month 4 of a six month diet and every day exercise routine, and whereas i am nice at understanding daily, I cant ever appear to induce a solid hold on my feeding habits. There is very difficult for me

My girlfriend buys lot of cakes and can sink in with random big boxes of Desserts etc. and my diet instantly goes down the drain whenever this happens. I feel on one hand it's my downside and my diet not theirs, bit I conjointly want it's what is obstructive my journey in weight loss.

I've tried to speak to her and even recommend buy less food to assist keep the dangerous foods clear most of the time bit it gets shrugged off.
What am I able to do to assist this situation?

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Well, firstly you don't have to eat what she's eating. Will power is required here. And it's good to get used to using that will power now, because for pretty much the rest of your life... there are going to be people around you that are going to eat things you can't.

Sounds like your girlfriend doesn't seem to care about your situation. And if that's the case... might be time to re-evaluate that situation, Do you really want to stay with someone that's unsupportive, unhelpful and down right subversive? Your call, but, personally, if my significant other refused to get on board with what I needed in order to be healthy... then I wouldn't want that person around at all.

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

[jrmoseley 101]

It's hard. Really hard. And yeah, you can say that willpower is required here, but honestly--if any of us had that kind of willpower we wouldn't have the weight problems that we do. Brain chemistry is a powerful thing, and the more research we see, the more I'm convinced that we're dealing with forces we just don't even begin to understand right now.

That being said, I think I'd try one more time to get the idea across that this isn't like a "regular person" going on a diet and trying to shed a couple of pounds. This is more like an addict trying their best to get and stay clean of drugs--because they know that if they don't, they're going to die. And if an alcoholic/addict lives with a person who's using, it's only a matter of time before they start using again themselves. If your girlfriend remains unsupportive, then you have to make some tough choices. Maybe live on your own where you can control what's in the house.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's a hard enough struggle when you have the full support and faith of your life companions--I can't imagine how difficult it must be to do it without that support.

[Offingapp 9]

13 minutes ago, KimTriesRNY said:

Yes, I have same problem

[Offingapp 9]

45 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Well, firstly you don't have to eat what she's eating. Will power is required here. And it's good to get used to using that will power now, because for pretty much the rest of your life... there are going to be people around you that are going to eat things you can't.

Sounds like your girlfriend doesn't seem to care about your situation. And if that's the case... might be time to re-evaluate that situation, Do you really want to stay with someone that's unsupportive, unhelpful and down right subversive? Your call, but, personally, if my significant other refused to get on board with what I needed in order to be healthy... then I wouldn't want that person around at all.

Thanx for good advice, but I love my girlfriend. She says "you are man you can eat less food" but when I see that she eats desserts I want to eat too

[Offingapp 9]

18 minutes ago, jrmoseley said:

It's hard. Really hard. And yeah, you can say that willpower is required here, but honestly--if any of us had that kind of willpower we wouldn't have the weight problems that we do. Brain chemistry is a powerful thing, and the more research we see, the more I'm convinced that we're dealing with forces we just don't even begin to understand right now.

That being said, I think I'd try one more time to get the idea across that this isn't like a "regular person" going on a diet and trying to shed a couple of pounds. This is more like an addict trying their best to get and stay clean of drugs--because they know that if they don't, they're going to die. And if an alcoholic/addict lives with a person who's using, it's only a matter of time before they start using again themselves. If your girlfriend remains unsupportive, then you have to make some tough choices. Maybe live on your own where you can control what's in the house.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's a hard enough struggle when you have the full support and faith of your life companions--I can't imagine how difficult it must be to do it without that support.

Yes, when I lived alone I had normally weight. I need to think about it

[Matt Z 4,138]

3 minutes ago, Offingapp said:

Thanx for good advice, but I love my girlfriend. She says "you are man you can eat less food" but when I see that she eats Desserts I want to eat too

Do you think that's fair or caring to you? You might love her, sure, but if she's not going to bother to change even a little for you, while you need her to... well. That's 100% on you man.

[GreenTealael 24,864]

You need to sit down and have an honest conversation about it with her, because drastic changes (like quitting smoking/drugs & Alcohol, other major life changes) can cause a rift that can eventually end the relationship.

So as long as she is aware of the changes (we don't eat together anymore , the stuff can't come in the house, I need your help with this , but that doesn't mean I don't like you, we have other things in common still etc.)

and is OK with it and doesn't try to sabotage you (try to eat around you when that was the agreed to change, still brings foods in, nonchalant about your health,etc.) you guys should be fine...

BUT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT YOU NEED FROM HER

AND you may be one of he lucky ones after surgery that does not care about it at all (my family and friends can eat what ever they want, idk but healthy food is stocked in the house so the are making mostly good choices by default around me)

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

[Offingapp 9]

4 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Do you think that's fair or caring to you? You might love her, sure, but if she's not going to bother to change even a little for you, while you need her to... well. That's 100% on you man.

What do I have to do?

[Matt Z 4,138]

1 minute ago, Offingapp said:

What do I have to do?

You need to sit her down and explain to her what you need her to do, in order to help and not hinder your whole surgery. You need to be 100% honest with her about all of it. And she's going to need to make some changes as well... if she doesn't or refuses to, then it's pretty clear that you don't mean as much to her as food does.

[Offingapp 9]

2 minutes ago, Tealael said:

You need to sit down and have an honest conversation about it with her, because drastic changes (like quitting smoking/drugs & Alcohol, other major life changes) can cause a rift that can eventually end the relationship. So as long as she is aware of the changes (well don't eat together anymore , but that doesn't mean I don't like you) and is OK with it and doesn't try to sabotage you (try to eat around you when that was the agreed to change) you guys should be fine,
AND you may be one of he lucky ones after surgery that does not care about it at all (my family and friends can eat what ever they want, idk but healthy food is stocked in the house so the are making mostly good choices by default around me)

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

Thanks, I call to her and planned our conversation)

[GreenTealael 24,864]

Thanks, I call to her and planned our conversation)

Don't for get to make it VERY CLEAR what you really need from her, and see if she CAN do it. Its only fair... She maybe just as addicted to junk food as you are...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

[Coppola bus 103 31]

Don't for get to make it VERY CLEAR what you really need from her, and see if she CAN do it. Its only fair... She maybe just as addicted to junk food as you are...VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

I have this problem with my wife. She is a junk food eater also . One thing I do is set my own shopping budget separate from the wife and kids. I buy my own foods . I seem to tolerate the lean cuisine and healthy choice frozen dinners. There pre portioned already.
Just because she eats junk doesn't mean she doesn't support you, stay focused on you . Love her anyway


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[Offingapp 9]

12 minutes ago, Tealael said:

Don't for get to make it VERY CLEAR what you really need from her, and see if she CAN do it. Its only fair... She maybe just as addicted to junk food as you are...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

Tealael you are very smart girl, your advices are very helpful

Edited July 23, 2018 by Offingapp