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How I can eat healthy when my girlfriend doesn't?



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Tealael you are very smart girl, your advices are very helpful
Lol just a few failed relationships, and I hate to see anyone else's end if it can be saved

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

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18 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Do you think that's fair or caring to you? You might love her, sure, but if she's not going to bother to change even a little for you, while you need her to... well. That's 100% on you man.

@Offingapp

I'm going to disagree with Matt on this.

My husband gave up A LOT for me throughout years of unhealthy and spiraling behaviors. I haven't asked him, nor want him to change for me. I did this so that he would no longer have to make sacrifices due to me anymore. This surgery is about *you*, not anyone else. I'm not saying it's right that she stuffs her face with cake in front of you. Perhaps you guys can compromise on the location of goodies, so it doesn't stare you in the face every time you go into your pantry. You can ask your GF to go into another room when she indulges in a tempting snack. But I wouldn't say that she needs to change for you. I never knew how much my husband compromised until I lost over a 100lbs and realized what he used to do for me, and what he gave up for me.

Now, on the reverse side of this... people will say... "I want my family to benefit from these changes and be healthier".... well, we can make these changes for our children. But our spouses are grown men and women. We can cook better for our families. We can shop better. We can inspire and set good examples for them. We can't always change them.

Just another input in a very complicated situation. I wish you luck.

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A lot of people don't seem to understand food addiction (I don't), etc. I think that is the real problem. They believe will power will get you through. Not making excuses for anyone here at all but, if it was a drug/alcohol addiction, rehab and resources would be available and expected to be used to get well . No one would expect the girlfriend to use/drink in the next room. The advice would be totally different. You would be asked if you are attending support groups, seeing your sponsor, staying away from negative influences etc...

we need to start treat this like the problem it really is

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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