So I am going to preface this by saying I work in surgery at a hospital affiliated with the hospital I am having my WLS at so not telling people was not an option for me.

I have to do six nutrition appointments for insurance approval and have my last appointment next week. After that appointment they submit to insurance and will call when approved (they say a few days our insurance is fast I am told). That is when I will get my surgery date. My mom had surgery at the same place last week and when they called her to set a surgery date it was two weeks out...so I will not have a lot of notice.

I work directly with one other woman, she is a huge gossip so I didn't tell her I was having WLS until about three weeks ago, she assured me she would not tell anyone else since I am anxious I won't get it for some reason but she told everyone, and she complained a lot about me, saying I was selfish to have this surgery in the summer and I was going to screw up her vacation in September...

I was upset, IMO understandably so, but I am hoping to have my surgery early in July so even with 6 weeks off work I would be back in time. I came in to work today and she starts grilling me on a surgery date which I still don't have. (I called her out on telling everyone so I believe she thinks I will no longer tell her anything which outside of a surgery date and work info I will not be sharing anything with her). She informed me she is taking off two weeks in July now too...

So after stressing and counting out weeks to try and accommodate her September vacation, she is throwing more time off in around when I need to have surgery.

Does anyone have any advice, I had fully intended to take first available surgery date, is that selfish? Should I schedule later to accommodate her July time?

I know right now I am running what ifs through my head they might not schedule me as early as I had hoped...but I feel lik she has pushed me into an impossible situation. Any suggestions on what to do and how to handle her jealousy?

I’d schedule it at the earliest possible date. If you try to accommodate everyone else’s schedule you will never find a good time.

Some places won't allow more than X number of people out at a time. If that's not a problem where you work, take the first available and don't look back. If it is a problem, you'll just have to deal with it if she's already claimed the time on the department calendar. Sounds like she's an a$$hat, but there's not really anything you can do about it. Hope it all works out for you, but I wouldn't say another #$@% word to her!

As long as your supervisor approves the time off request, you have no obligation to work around someone else vacations, etc.

28 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

As long as your supervisor approves the time off request, you have no obligation to work around someone else vacations, etc.

Exactly! Do what you got to do in order to get your health in good shape.

Thanks guys I am taking the soonest appointment

Don't let this selfish person rain on your parade. You do what is right for you and take the earliest you can that your manager approves. One thing I have learned is that if you keep putting your life on hold for others, they always expect it. It is the summer of Nnoi!

Focus only on you!

This is your time. It's your health. Sounds like she isn't going to be accommodating either way so look out for #1. (You)

The sooner you have your surgery the better you will feel and you'll have no regrets!

Best of luck!!

6 hours ago, Nnoi said:

but she told everyone, and she complained a lot about me, saying I was selfish to have this surgery in the summer and I was going to screw up her vacation in September.

Human Resources. This is waaaaaaay out of line. You're health is NOT a public matter and is not open for debate.

If you're getting any grief or think you're being discriminated against, go to HR.

Edited June 13, 20188 yr by ElusiveQuality

And you know where I stand- I have been on Team Nnoi from the beginning of this marathon?

You can always ask a manager or supervisor if she actually has been approved for all those days off. Sounds like a lot of time to me unless she’s been there for a looooong time. But also, I wouldn’t really care. I’d take the first date available and that’s that. I’m not sure you’ll get far with HR since you volunteered the information with her. But I sure as sh*t wouldn’t even talk to her anymore unless it’s related to work. I’d completely cut her off. Some places do consider this an elective surgery, but a lot of places don’t. Surgery for your health is often considered just that. Kind of like the same idea as needing a hip replacement. This isn’t getting new boobs, this is for a longer life. As a business owner, I know that if one of my employees came to me asking for a vacation to the Bahamas and another came asking for WLS, I’d approve the WLS and the islands would just have to wait.

Ignore this bizzy. Too many times, we have been accommodating everyone else. This is your time, for your health. She can just wait on her vacation. Tell the Doctor to write a letter for date of surgery so they can make no noise about it. You went through the process, not fair to delay it just because somebody a whiner! Good Luck

Make yourself the priority and let her worry about herself. This is on her is she’s adding in time.

Don’t worry about others on this one :) take that appointment offered!

If you qualify for FMLA or STD then her vacation plans are none of your concern. Your employer is obligated to give you the time off. And no one can ask you to change the date of your medical needs just because it’s inconvenient for them.

Ignore her, just do what you need to do and do NOT feel guilty about it.

21 hours ago, Nnoi said:

So I am going to preface this by saying I work in surgery at a hospital affiliated with the hospital I am having my WLS at so not telling people was not an option for me.

I have to do six nutrition appointments for insurance approval and have my last appointment next week. After that appointment they submit to insurance and will call when approved (they say a few days our insurance is fast I am told). That is when I will get my surgery date. My mom had surgery at the same place last week and when they called her to set a surgery date it was two weeks out...so I will not have a lot of notice.

I work directly with one other woman, she is a huge gossip so I didn't tell her I was having WLS until about three weeks ago, she assured me she would not tell anyone else since I am anxious I won't get it for some reason but she told everyone, and she complained a lot about me, saying I was selfish to have this surgery in the summer and I was going to screw up her vacation in September...

I was upset, IMO understandably so, but I am hoping to have my surgery early in July so even with 6 weeks off work I would be back in time. I came in to work today and she starts grilling me on a surgery date which I still don't have. (I called her out on telling everyone so I believe she thinks I will no longer tell her anything which outside of a surgery date and work info I will not be sharing anything with her). She informed me she is taking off two weeks in July now too...

So after stressing and counting out weeks to try and accommodate her September vacation, she is throwing more time off in around when I need to have surgery.

Does anyone have any advice, I had fully intended to take first available surgery date, is that selfish? Should I schedule later to accommodate her July time?

I know right now I am running what ifs through my head they might not schedule me as early as I had hoped...but I feel lik she has pushed me into an impossible situation. Any suggestions on what to do and how to handle her jealousy?

Put yourself first and take the appointment that is offered.

As to your colleague... take the high road, not as much fun as crushing her soul, but a better outcome for you both personally and professionally. Gossips always bring themselves undone.

In a years time she won’t take up any room in your head, you’ll be way too busy living your healthy life to the full. Best of luck xx