#MagicWithinme

Ignore this bizzy. Too many times, we have been accommodating everyone else. This is your time, for your health. She can just wait on her vacation. Tell the Doctor to write a letter for date of surgery so they can make no noise about it. You went through the process, not fair to delay it just because somebody a whiner! Good Luck

Yesterday I had an appointment for a fill. The last one I had 1/2 cc was 8 weeks ago after a 2 year hiatus. At this time, I have 3.6, I had been told that 2 ccs were already in band when I started . Twice, twice, I got it up to 3ccs and had to take everything out and start all over. Yesterday hubby came with me, and Dr. would ask me questions and talk to me but all the whole while looking at my hubby. He felt that my band was restricting and that I just had to change my diet habits to accommodate. Talking about diets, and showing him the diagrams of the stomach. I even said at one point,touched my husband's arm and said I like how you are looking at him, since he is the cook. he kind of chuckled but still kept looking at husband. I had gone alone before and it was fine, but it was soo weird. I'm hispanic hubby anglo, My cousin thought maybe I looked like the little submissive wife or something. So no more fills for me for awhile and hubby has a new admirer?

Oh Universe, you were digging in the deep corners of my mind. A person that I had not talked to literally for over 25 years, out of blue contacted me. When we go through verbal trauma, inner child issues, all the wrongs done in the world all the crap, feels personal, feels like its directed at our heart. At the time , this person took my beloved spot at work while I was traded for hers in a clinic 20 miles away. She lived 3 houses away but was having marital issues. (roll of eyes here). I was told it would be temporary and 6 months later when I asked again, was told it was permanent and at that time I said, then I'm going to be looking for something closer. She told my nurses that she is running the clinic her way and that she was going to change everything. Whenever I would cover for her, she would leave a list of things she wanted me to do , but I would do other things like dictation that needed to be done, she called me to say you didn't do what I left for you and I told her I did the dictation. She wanted to talk to the supervisor. I never heard more. It took me two years (the clinic closed year after I left) to find a job in town which I loved, now I tolerate, I still see and visit and call the nurses, we still get together for lunch or dinner, remembering funny moments over and over . Once I was at my new job this person just disappeared from my view. Many years, later, so much later I found out that this person divorced her husband, then remarried him twice. Ended up being fired, but not before she tried to sue the nurses for treating her"badly" She brought a lot of stuff on herself. I was the sole clerical person for a staff of 3 health inspectors and 8 nurses and it ran like clockwork. She gets there and right away she couldn't do it all and got two assistants. I told one of the nurses about that particular incident and she said that the girl had been fuming because the supervisor had told her that if I felt there was something more urgent to do she was good with that. (She hated filing, she'd have piles of it) Now in all that time, I did finally see where had I not have been moved, I would have been "stuck" in that same place for years. I would not have met the people I did, learned the lessons I needed to, to get to the place I am now. To have been able to discover the magic within me, I'm still in awe of what powers a person can hold, what is possible. Make new friends, that believe in the same things you do, that makes your heart soar with happiness, with joy and laughter. To know that once this life is over, there are many more waiting to be lived. And that was it... I thought for a split second that maybe I should tell her the resentment I had carried against her. how she had changed my world, but in hindsight that would only make me look so petty. She would take enjoyment in that. I thought that maybe I should thank her for making me move, and again she would take pleasure in that. In the end our conversation was short and simple. her: Hey how are you doing? me: This is a surprise, I'm good how are you. her: Oh I'm doing great I live in "Podunk" me: That's a big town, are you working? her: yes and I have a job where I'm making 3xs the money I made before. me: Good for you, I've been with the city 20 years. And that was the end of that.

I have always loved to write, before I knew it was told my therapists that it was therapeutic that it would cleanse my soul. My journals held my pains my sorrows, my deep internal griefs and tears. I have reread journals and don't find many writing of happy good times. Perhaps I wanted to keep those my secrets. So now that I am paying much attention to my self, my journal has appeared again. I have actually gained some weight back but I don't think because of eating habits, I go to the gym 4-6 days a week and I might have built up a little muscle. The need to write again has been strong, and in searching for blogs I couldn't find anything that I felt comfortable with but here. so ...... My regular doctor retired and there is this really young cute dr. taking his place, you want me to lift my shirt? "Oh doctor", batting eyelashes, yeah right. I had not gone in for a year and a half and doctor was a bit surprised as to why I was there. I said I need to get back in check. I have never had more than 3ccs. and my body gets crazy, tight, gagging, you know the whole drill. So he gave me 1/2 a cc 2 months ago. I have an appointment next week maybe for another 1/2 cc. In looking back , I don't think it really was my body reacting. I truly feel it was my brain, fighting the restriction. When I got that 1/2 cc I took it slowly I went back to rookie status, the soft foods. I do find that I often let the day go without eating as frequently as I should so when I do eat, I'm scarfing food down and it tends to get stuck. which I end up throwing up. (sigh) I need to work on that. We shall see how that next 1/2 cc goes.

Not as good as I should be. Was working out 5-6 days a week started feeling soreness so I was just thinking I needed to work through it. Come to find out out I had pnemonia ! Now that I'm back to gym going slower and watching aches and pains.

I've had flu issues before and also thought that my band has slipped. After twice getting an abdominal scan, dr. said that with the vomiting and stomach issues, the tissue becomes swollen and it will become hard to eat. Stick to soft foods, liquids for a couple of days. But always check with your md. Good Luck!

I live off of fiber bars. I am uncomfortable if I haven't had a poop. I may not eat a lot but it can pile up. I only drink protein drinks when I work out. I do switch out water bottles. It is boring to drink water out of plain water bottles. Even 6 years out I still have struggles.

I've been banded since 2011 and I still have those issues. Not enough protein too much protein. Things still get stuck when I try to eat something I'm not supposed to but I still try. I know it's worse thing I could do but I go to bathroom and stick my finger down my throat. Stuff either comes up or goes down. But we can't overstress to the point where we aren't enjoying life. I gained back 30 but lost 25 again. Husband hid scale. Keep going strong don't get so discouraged. Good luck!

I've had mine since 2011 and stopped going last year. Was told by other wanderers the band's to wear out. If you continue to have problems was ask Dr About that. Good luck!

I had sleep apnea too, the blood pressure no diabetes, after loosing 60 lbs, I still snore like a bear , and still have to take blood pressure meds. (hereditary per dr. ) still no diabetes. With insurance, normal wait time is 6 months. Cash, come right on in. Good Luck !

I've had my band unfilled about 3 times. Because I didn't add anything for 2 years, (I was being so strict on myself) that every time I got up to 3ccs I couldn't eat, sip a little. I'd go back to dr to take what I had put in removed and wait another week. I was still having problems (things got swollen) that dr ended up removing everything from band. Id have to wait 6 weeks to start over. I did that 3 times. But hey I lost weight during that time! just remember small, bites, that's my biggest problem, sometimes I so hungry I forget, and I end up in bathroom, with my finger down my throat trying to make things come back up, or down. I know that's not ideal either but in that moment...

Vomiting is nothing to play around with, go back to dr. The sore throat maybe stick to liquids for a few days. For me the weather (cold mostly) makes my band tight in am. I saw suggestions here, to drink something hot, I started drinking hot Water with a little lemon in it. Or heat up a cup of almond milk and a splash of coffee for Breakfast. Even after 6 years, I still have trouble, so don't beat yourself over the head. Eventually you will find a rhythm to the eating and drinking, and a reminder no big bites good luck

do they sell in California? I'm always looking for something

I love protein bars too but then I get all constipated and have to stop eating them for awhile. But they have some good ones out there!

enjoy the moment!

Plain lack of education on my part and really trying. Everyone in my family is on the big boned side. But there are also lots of health issues. When both my parents passed away within 3 years of each other, that was the wake up call for me. Only in my 40's at the time, already seeing a cardiologist?? Got the lab band, lost 70 lbs, now trying to keep them off, you know how it goes sometimes. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. but I still have kept most of it off. Plus I have joined Planet Fitness and have been committed to going at least 4 times a week if not more, and I go on weekends. It has also inspired my daughter who's weight was starting to go up to start a gym, she has lost 40 lbs in 6 months, At a family bbq, my cousin pointed at me and said you are going to eat a piece of cake, so you don't forget where you came from. (all in jest)..

I agree. It was great with my regular doctor when I lost the initial weight. But now that I have put on a few lbs back, its all about the numbers, you really have to watch that weight. Are you working out/ Did I not tell you that I work out 3-5 times a week including weekends? Did I not tell you that my family has a history of diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease? Oh and cholesterol. Is it not bad enough that I stress myself out, that I need to hear your two cents? I agree that many doctors look at weight as being the main factor of illness, when sometimes genetically we are screwed anyways.I know sometimes I feel I looker than I am, because of the loose skin I've accumulated. Today's society is stuck on skinny as being healthy. NOT SO!

In this day and age of weight awareness, in schools, on TV, online, if you don't know you are overweight , there's a problem. Or you don't care and figure society will take care of you (which unfortunately will happen)

How low was your BMI? When I went in a few years ago 2011, the BMI was 35. I was told that was going to be lowered (I guess so more people would be able to get the lapband). haven't heard anything since. Or it could be your insurance specifically?

I went to Torrid this weekend and got measured. I normally wear a 40c, but she says I can fit into a 42C/D and she was right! I'm wearing one right now, and it feels like they are walking in before I am. I'm so used to wearing sports bras and flattening the girls down, but wow ,yes I am a bit self conscious. Hubby loves the bra by the way!

I had my band done in 2011. and I too did great in the beginning. for the first 2 years I had my original 2mm fill . and lost 65 lbs., Of course I was terrified every time I put something in my mouth. I started loosening up food wise and unfortunately I have gained back part of the weight. I was working out before to try to get weight off, now I work out to keep if off, but somewhere between all that, it's no longer working. I have confidence in myself that this is just a setback , it happens, get back on the wagon, yada yada yada. You are not alone, don't go by someone else's journey. We all have our issues, our demons, our goals and dreams. You are not alone.

If you have been honest and really tried, there is no shame or embarrassment. I'm sure the doctors/staff have seen far worse. People trying to eat regular and not give lap band a chance. I lose a good deal of weight first two years with no fill but now I have gained some back even with fills. It is hard work and at times we get discouraged, but we have to remember the reason we first decided to get one. To be healthier and happier people. Each of our journeys are different. Don't base your story to someone else's. talk to your doctor and perhaps he can give you suggestions, or talk to a nutritionist, or what he feels might help you with support and if a different kind of surgery is required be open to it. It doesn't mean you have to do it. Just get the information. Good luck!

Quoting my m.d. " It took years to gain weight, what makes you think you are going to lose it in a few weeks? Don't give up, you've come this far...

I love mayo, sometimes there's even some tuna in it... lol, but that has been one of the hardest things to cut down on, and the diet stuff, ewwww. mayo and French fries anyone?

I hear you, before I "had a life". My family expected me to be doing nothing all weekend long and that I needed to spend the day taking care of their "someone else can do lists". When I started dating hubby, and one of the first times he slept over, my phone started ringing, I said its either my mother or sister and sure enough it was mom. and several minutes later it was my sister. It took them awhile to understand that I was not at their disposal any longer and I can honestly say that I was at fault for allowing myself to be taken advantage of. It's a sad assumption and may it be true or not, that big people have no life. This weekend I exercised so much, my little heart is pounding, (I'm eating peanut butter for protein) . Live life my friend.