Can I vent for a minute?

[Rachel1064 5]

So, I'm down about 30lbs and I just bought some new clothes. They're pretty much the same stuff I already wear, just smaller sizes (leggings and a t-shirt). For the first time when I looked in the mirror I was actually able to see my progress. I asked my husband if I looked any smaller and he replied with, "You're new clothes look nice." I didn't ask if my clothes are nice (they aren't nice, it's just leggings and a t-shirt) I asked if I looked smaller. His reply just got under my skin. Later, I asked my mom if I looked thinner and she replied with "yes" without even looking at me (she was watching TV). Then she started talking about herself and how when she loses a few pounds her clothes are just hanging off of her. (Oh, please). A little later my husband approached me and said in a forced tone "Congratulations on going down a size".

I feel annoyed because I do not fish for compliments. I only asked this question because I was finally able to see a change. I guess I was hoping for a more empathetic response.

[Angel2018 37]

I feel your frustration!
Just remind yourself that you do t need external validation from anyone. The key is to be happy within, with you progress and who you are becoming . I’m sure you look fabulous. Keep positive and try not to punch your mum and husband

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Also keep in mind that this whole process is hell on our hormones and emotions. Things that might not have even registered to bother you in the past...could make you feel very sensitive now.

There's a whole process of losing a comfort crutch (food) that is a little unhinging. We get a little frayed around the edges.

That being said....your mom could be more supportive, and your hubby could be less oblivious. A pox on both of them! LOLOLOL

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Well husband's can be like that. Had one of them for 44 years.Hmm let's see in his defense:

I tell her she looks nice, she'll counter "Don't I Always?"

I tell her I like the way she looks slimmer, she'll say "Didn't you love me beforehand?"

I say is that new? She'll say" Yes but don't start saying I spent too much money."

I say Looks similar to her other clothes She'll say "Now what is wrong with my style? You always liked it before. "

I say I'm proud of you losing weight She'll say "You weren't proud of me before? What a crappy thing to say."

Guess I'll just sit here in the chair and say "Nice Honey or Mnff "when she asks anything. That way I'm safe!

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[GreenTealael 24,866]

So, I'm down about 30lbs and I just bought some new clothes. They're pretty much the same stuff I already wear, just smaller sizes (leggings and a t-shirt). For the first time when I looked in the mirror I was actually able to see my progress. I asked my husband if I looked any smaller and he replied with, "You're new clothes look nice." I didn't ask if my clothes are nice (they aren't nice, it's just leggings and a t-shirt) I asked if I looked smaller. His reply just got under my skin. Later, I asked my mom if I looked thinner and she replied with "yes" without even looking at me (she was watching TV). Then she started talking about herself and how when she loses a few pounds her clothes are just hanging off of her. (Oh, please). A little later my husband approached me and said in a forced tone "Congratulations on going down a size".

I feel annoyed because I do not fish for compliments. I only asked this question because I was finally able to see a change. I guess I was hoping for a more empathetic response.

I understand your frustration.

I also understand being on the other side of a person or a friend with a new "obsession" (not to say its a bad thing at all )

Sometimes it's just tiring to always discuss the same thing over and over especially when you are not really interested. Sad but honest.

I suggest discussing with people who are more empathetic such a support groups so that peace reigns supreme in your personal relationship

I could be totally wrong and they could just be jealous or insecure...

[redhead_che 824]

I relate to this so much. I'm so pleased with my progress so far and I noticed recently I talk about it A LOT to my boyfriend and mom. And God bless them...they haven't told me to stuff it or talk about something else because they KNOW how hard I'm working. I'm 2 pounds away from that -50lbs mark and I mentioned that yesterday to both of them separately and got a "good job" (half-hearted).

I had to place myself in their shoes for a minute. I realized they are both so proud of me, but neither one of them understands exactly what the process is and how much it means to me. They're just happy I'm happy. And because I like to talk about all the new things I'm learning after my sleeve, all they hear about is work and sleeve, rinse and repeat.

So sorry this happened to you, but I agree with some other folks that posted, they might not get how BIG of a deal this is to you, how happy you are, how proud you are, etc because it's not their journey--they're just along for the ride.

[Danny Paul 761]

Its a strange dynamic with men when it comes to complimenting the one we love. I tell my wife everyday that I love her (and I really mean it) but I seldom compliment her on her looks( she's a gorgeous woman) . I never considered that to be a problem in our relationship. I'm sure it would make my wife feel good if I complimented her on her her appearance. That being said she knows how much I care for her on a daily basis. Overall think about how your boyfriend and mother treat you.

[elforman 234]

Just throwing this out there as a possibility, but is there a chance that you are seeking validation like that too frequently?

My wife has been doing Weight Watchers on and off for a few years and she would ask me what seemed like daily if it looks like she's losing weight or if I liked what she was wearing and if made her look thinner. I finally had to tell her that when you see someone every day you're not going to just suddenly notice a difference, If you only see someone once a month or less, then yes, you'll notice something. But weight loss is too slow a process to notice a change on a daily basis.

Believe me, I'm an attentive husband and compliment her frequently without prompting. She does not have to go fishing for compliments with me.