Actually, Little Green is a reference to a Joni Mitchell song, NOT a comment on my size - but I thought the title might be funny

So I'm 2 weeks away from surgery and just started my liquid diet. I thought I'd officially start one of these "tell your story" posts so that I have a place to keep track of all my stats and thoughts.

My highest weight is 381.25 and that was 6/14/14. After that I lost down to around 300-ish in about 18 months doing calorie-counting on MFP, but regained nearly all of it after my husband became disabled in a motorcycle accident. About a year after the accident - last March - I visited the bariatric surgeon for my first consult and I weighed 367 pounds. I've gone up and down since then but I started my liquid diet (today!) at 350.2.

I am a classic story of overweight-since-childhood along with a rapid weight gain starting in my late 'teens after getting a job and my driver's license, giving me full access to fast food morning, noon, and night. I'm not sure of all my milestones throughout the years but I know I weighed 180 pounds in 7th grade at age 12, and more than 220 when I graduated high school. I'm 5'8 so BMI 25 is 164 pounds and my goal weight is 150.

About six weeks ago I decided to go vegan and I've been transitioning into that diet ever since. I'm relying on plant-based protein supplements during the liquid phase but I hope to move to getting protein from whole food as soon as possible. My post-op diet will definitely be a lot higher in carbs than most people on this board are used to, but I'm confident in my choices and really excited about the health benefits in addition to weight loss.

I am going to try my darnedest to weigh myself only once per month after surgery. I did the obsessive daily "don't drink anything, have a bowel movement, get naked, and weigh myself" routine during my MFP days and it was really harmful to me mentally. I'm also logging my food in a physical journal and I won't be weighing anything or measuring beyond the standard 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, etc. meal sizes for post-op guidelines. Measuring food definitely works and I think many people can benefit from it. But again, it ended up being bad for my mental health. My ultimate life goal is to eat and enjoy an abundant amount of healthy plant-based whole foods without weighing or measuring portions. I know it will be awhile before I get there, but that's where I'm going and how I'm positioning myself for long-term success.

So that's a little about me! I'm going to post random crap in this thread, like musings on diet stuff, numbers, feelings (I have a lot of them), my appointments, etc. Thanks for reading!

Maybe you are in a Whatever mode, after so many blipd, false starts and stoppage you're smooth enough to say Whatever.
Gosh I hope the reflux dissipates and then disappears. You were one of the first who reached out to me when I was a rank newbie.
I just want the Good things to happen for you.?

I don't know if you can click on this and read it? This is my proposed food log for the day.

I gotta get in the habit of a food log!

Made it to 10 pounds lost this morning! Not exactly where I wanted to be but I can't complain. I'm still feeling ill occasionally but not as bad, so hopefully it was just an adjustment period.
One odd thing is I'm having heartburn between meals, not every time but at least once a day. And I've had a reflux issue twice. I rarely ever get heartburn and definitely only get reflux once in a blue moon (maybe 3-4x in my whole adult life). Not sure what the connection is. I'll call my surgeon Monday morning just to make sure.
I'm feeling good. I feel kind of disconnected from surgery, to be honest. I think I was so I incredibly engaged and anxious the first time I was in "go mode" that this time my brain can't get the anxiety juices flowing. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Just trucking on having my protein shakes and water, biding my time.

I read through most of the thred and soo sorry you had to go through all that but you got through it!! And May 17th is around the corner. I wonder why your not feeling well, seemed your first liquid diet wasn't that bad. Hang in there!!

Great report girl. Congrats no 10lbs!!!! Glad the nausea and feeling bad is lessening. Good that you go through it now and not after surgery!! But ICK on the heartburn. It sounds like your protein drinks are not playing well with your bod hon. Or else, your vitamins aren't? May 17th will be here so fast!!! Excited for you!!!!

5 hours ago, TaylorMade4One said:

I read through most of the thred and soo sorry you had to go through all that but you got through it!! And May 17th is around the corner. I wonder why your not feeling well, seemed your first liquid diet wasn't that bad. Hang in there!!

I can't believe you read the majority of this hot mess of a thread!!! Haha, that is so sweet of you to say, thank you for the encouragement!

5 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Great report girl. Congrats no 10lbs!!!! Glad the nausea and feeling bad is lessening. Good that you go through it now and not after surgery!! But ICK on the heartburn. It sounds like your Protein Drinks are not playing well with your bod hon. Or else, your Vitamins aren't? May 17th will be here so fast!!! Excited for you!!!!

I'm not sure what it is, dagnabbit! And woohoo, 11 days to go!

19 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

Maybe you are in a Whatever mode, after so many blipd, false starts and stoppage you're smooth enough to say Whatever.
Gosh I hope the reflux dissipates and then disappears. You were one of the first who reached out to me when I was a rank newbie.
I just want the Good things to happen for you.?

I definitely feel like I'm in whatever mode! Thank you so much, friend, and I hope the same for you!

I had my pre-op appointment today which included the nutrition/surgery day class and the lab work. As soon as I walked into the hospital my brain and stomach remembered that I'm having surgery and went into overdrive with anxiety, nausea, etc. I'm feeling better now, though, so that's good. I'm not anxious about whether I should have surgery, or even the specific procedures, etc. -- I just want to wake up afterward. I'm just having "end of life" thoughts about things I have or haven't done or said and regrets and fears about what happens if I don't make it through. I know that is soooo dramatic lol, and I can't wait to laugh at myself. 7 days to go!

The lab work was all normal and my bg was 76, it was about 4 hours after my morning protein shake so not exactly postprandial but still a great number. (I'm not diabetic, I just worry. I can't wait until I don't have to be paranoid about medical conditions I don't have!)

One more week... so hard to believe it's nearly here!

Sure it's post-prandial sweetie! Anything after a meal is post prandial, but at 4 hours it's almost pre-prandial too. Cuz at 4 hours you should def. be back to almost fasting levels. Did you feel good at 76?

Congrats on being so close and for being able to check all that off your list. I swear it was the easiest surgery. I was like, are you SURE you did anything in there?? I woke up and was ready to go! No big dramatic pain events. A little nausea that the patch controlled. Nothing big at all.

I hope that will be the same outcome for you hon! Get past the immediate hump of the surgery recovery and I swear you will only regret not having this sooner. It's such a game changer!!! ((hugs))

Feel free to tell all of us how adorable and great we are, if you,plan on "Shuffling off to Buffalo", just keep in mind you are basically uber healthy and not going to,leave life for a good long time. Besides I'll still need you, don't turn my custody over to the Jolly Green Giant, he'll make me go to work in his vegetable factory.?Talk about?Elder Abuse! LOL!

72 hours until Surgery Eve!

The last couple days I've started having trouble with my head hunger on the liquid diet. Right on the home stretch I graduated with my associate's degree Thursday night and my parents, brother, and husband were all there. Afterward, despite everyone saying they didn't want me to have to go out to eat while on my diet, I insisted we all go out. The table was covered in chips & salsa and fried pickles and steak and chicken & waffles (my husband) and the smells were overwhelming. Ever since then I've been dying to eat. Not unhealthy food specifically, just food. My husband made a black bean burrito last night and I nearly cried smelling it. I'm still not having much actual physical hunger but the drive to eat is in full force. I just keep reminding myself that in two weeks (from surgery day, I mean) I can have pureed foods like beans and hummus and chili and veggies and applesauce. It's not that far away! This stage isn't forever... it's just for my safety and recovery. *repeats 100 times*

Having said all that, despite the recent issues I absolutely LOOOOOOOVE the Svelte protein shakes. I've got 5 flavors now (thanks, Amazon!) - chocolate, vanilla, cappuccino, spiced chai, and banana créme. I love them all, although cappuccino might still be my favorite. I'd like to use them exclusively after surgery but only being 11g of protein I'm not sure that will be possible. I could just about hit my protein goal (60g) with five of them but that's 55oz of protein shakes in addition to the 60oz of water I'm supposed to be having, which seems like a lot to tolerate. I might have to do one premier protein per day since that's 30g and that'll give me more leeway. I want to stick to the plant-based shakes but I'm going to try and be as flexible as possible during the liquid stage, it's all about staying hydrated & healthy!

Tomorrow I'll be finishing up laundry & house prep and then Tuesday afternoon when my husband gets home from work we'll load up the car and the cats and hit the road for my Mom's! I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but just in case, I'm having surgery in another city near where my parents live, in the hospital where my husband was treated after his accident. It's a large, teaching hospital and is a center of excellence for bariatric surgery - so I felt safer there than at a regional hospital in my area. I'll be at Mom's until the weekend of Memorial Day (10-ish days). So that's why we'll be heading off Tuesday night!

On Surgery Eve Day (Wednesday) I booked massage and floating therapy sessions, and I'll have a bath in my parents' big tub that night as well. By then I assume I will be nearly catatonic with anxiety so I'm trying to take every precaution against losing my mind I doubt I will actually be able to relax but hopefully the relaxing settings will at least give me the opportunity to do so!

Sounds so good, I only hope everything goes so good for you and when my time comes, for me as well. I am envious but not jealous, can you understand the difference? Jealous is jumping up and down, having a tantrum, screaming I wanna I wanna. Envy says She's having it, good,and I will have it also when it is my time to have,it.Much more laid back and adult. I❤ you and value the friendship you have shown me. Now keep a smile on your lips and peace in your heart, I'll look forward also to hearing from you when this next chapter is over.

23 minutes ago, Frustr8 said:

Sounds so good, I only hope everything goes so good for you and when my time comes, for me as well. I am envious but not jealous, can you understand the difference? Jealous is jumping up and down, having a tantrum, screaming I wanna I wanna. Envy says She's having it, good,and I will have it also when it is my time to have,it.Much more laid back and adult. I❤ you and value the friendship you have shown me. Now keep a smile on your lips and peace in your heart, I'll look forward also to hearing from you when this next chapter is over.

Hang in there. You will be with me soon

I just read this entire thread...wow what a roller coaster! Not in a bad way but just a lot of ups and downs. I start my liquid diet on the 17th...this whole process has fell into place for me (almost waiting for the other shoe to drop) but really resting in the peace I have about this journey. I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you Little Green!

On 5/14/2018 at 12:35 AM, PCOSSUCKS said:

I just read this entire thread...wow what a roller coaster! Not in a bad way but just a lot of ups and downs. I start my liquid diet on the 17th...this whole process has fell into place for me (almost waiting for the other shoe to drop) but really resting in the peace I have about this journey. I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you Little Green!

Thank you so much for reading! Yes... omg, lol, it really has been a rollercoaster. I'm glad the last couple weeks have been mostly smooth sailing for me! You will do a fabulous job on the liquid diet and we'll be here to cheer you on!