Actually, Little Green is a reference to a Joni Mitchell song, NOT a comment on my size - but I thought the title might be funny

So I'm 2 weeks away from surgery and just started my liquid diet. I thought I'd officially start one of these "tell your story" posts so that I have a place to keep track of all my stats and thoughts.

My highest weight is 381.25 and that was 6/14/14. After that I lost down to around 300-ish in about 18 months doing calorie-counting on MFP, but regained nearly all of it after my husband became disabled in a motorcycle accident. About a year after the accident - last March - I visited the bariatric surgeon for my first consult and I weighed 367 pounds. I've gone up and down since then but I started my liquid diet (today!) at 350.2.

I am a classic story of overweight-since-childhood along with a rapid weight gain starting in my late 'teens after getting a job and my driver's license, giving me full access to fast food morning, noon, and night. I'm not sure of all my milestones throughout the years but I know I weighed 180 pounds in 7th grade at age 12, and more than 220 when I graduated high school. I'm 5'8 so BMI 25 is 164 pounds and my goal weight is 150.

About six weeks ago I decided to go vegan and I've been transitioning into that diet ever since. I'm relying on plant-based protein supplements during the liquid phase but I hope to move to getting protein from whole food as soon as possible. My post-op diet will definitely be a lot higher in carbs than most people on this board are used to, but I'm confident in my choices and really excited about the health benefits in addition to weight loss.

I am going to try my darnedest to weigh myself only once per month after surgery. I did the obsessive daily "don't drink anything, have a bowel movement, get naked, and weigh myself" routine during my MFP days and it was really harmful to me mentally. I'm also logging my food in a physical journal and I won't be weighing anything or measuring beyond the standard 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, etc. meal sizes for post-op guidelines. Measuring food definitely works and I think many people can benefit from it. But again, it ended up being bad for my mental health. My ultimate life goal is to eat and enjoy an abundant amount of healthy plant-based whole foods without weighing or measuring portions. I know it will be awhile before I get there, but that's where I'm going and how I'm positioning myself for long-term success.

So that's a little about me! I'm going to post random crap in this thread, like musings on diet stuff, numbers, feelings (I have a lot of them), my appointments, etc. Thanks for reading!

Oh and I also found some at my local IGA, they're nice cause sometimes if you ask they'll order stuff in.

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@Little Green You've got my prayers hon. I hope this all works out very soon!!!

Vent to me also, I'm on the postponed route also. My surgeon wants a contrast medium upper GI to pinpoint the exact,location of my small gastric ulcer, so it looks like no February 15 for me. Uggh

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Thank you everyone.

I'm more confused today than yesterday. The sleep doctor's MA faxed the letter over this morning, yay!! But now there's a "huge case" on the 15th so it won't be on that day. They haven't worked out which day it will be. But the class is still scheduled for the 14th, so it will be the 19th at the earliest (surgeon has clinic Fridays). The scheduler is supposed to call me back today once they work it out.

She told me to stop the liquid diet, but then asked what surgery I'm having as if to say something else about the diet, but we never got back to that topic and I didn't realize until after we hung up that I wasn't sure if she really wanted me to stop the diet. If so, that means surgery would be more than two weeks from now. I'm going to ask when the scheduler calls, but man this situation could not get any less clear if it were a mud pie.

I'm going to compromise on the liquid diet and add smoothies & fruit back in addition to the shakes & bars. (I might knock back on the shakes, too, over 100g protein per day has been making me anxious.) So that's the silver lining - delicious banana smoothies.

I have therapy in an hour and I hope to find some strategy for dealing with the head-to-toe electrical buzzing in my body. Maybe a Xanax. I try to remind myself that my worrying doesn't change the outcome. Unfortunately that never helps, lol. I'll keep y'all updated.

I'M STILL SO MAD I WAS TAKEN OFF THE SCHEDULE. IF ALL YOU NEEDED WAS A LETTER YOU COULD HAVE KEPT ME ON THE SCHEDULE AND JUST TAKEN ME OFF IF YOU HADN'T RECEIVED THE LETTER BEFORE SURGERY. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR ALL OF THIS. I AM SORRY FOR THE CAPS BUT I FEEL HELPLESS AND IMPOTENT, A SHIP TOSSED ABOUT IN THE WAVES OF BUREAUCRACY. *PUTS ON GOTH MAKEUP AND LISTENS TO EMO MUSIC*

@Little Green I am sorry for what you are going through. Please continue to SHOUT on the board, you have every right to be extremely frustrated!!

Oh man, SHOUTING is a-okay with me! Shout away honey!!!! So so so sorry you're going through this!!!! But selfishly, now we'll almost be surgery twins. (trying for a lame-ass silver lining). Dang!!!!! Sending you karmic hugs from Houston!!!

Thank you Apple & Fluffy... hugs gratefully received, and I'm sending hugs back.

Therapy was helpful, just the process of getting it all out and crying, etc. I also listened to some good music on the drive over. But physically I think I've hit a limit. My under eye circles are a dark charcoal purple color and I'm flushed and itchy all over. So, I decided to skip class and take care of myself for the rest of the day. Since I was technically told to stop the liquid diet, I'm going to chance it and have a meal tonight (from Zoës Kitchen, rice and beans with pita and hummus, mmmm) then get a massage and see a movie. I physically cannot handle this stress anymore, unless I add some fuel to my emotional reserves. Plus, lack of nutrients, lack of sleep, and stress all combined may cause me to get sick and postpone my surgery which would just start the cycle over.

Everything will be all right. My husband has been on the phone all day trying to get things worked out for returning to work, and he's making some good progress. I don't have the capacity to hear the updates right now lol, but he seems in good spirits, so I'm taking that as a good sign. We will get through this! I WILL have surgery, there's nothing to stop that from happening. It's just a question of when. And whenever it is, that will be okay.

Awww hon! Good methodology for coping there if you ask me!

Also, something to consider when I was talking with my surgeon about my sissys coming to take care of me. She looked at me like I'd grown a 3rd head and said very wryly...you know, there isn't gonna be much "taking care of" after this surgery don't you? We're gonna have you out of bed and walking in the first 2-3 hours after surgery and drop kickin your but outta the hospital the next day. From there, you're gonna be walking, drinking, and watching cartoons. You are NOT gonna need anyone to take care of you. And she laughed. I could tell she was trying not to look at me like I was a complete moron.

Maybe that will help ease your mind about hubs going back to work?

Here's what she looked like:

Fluffy I looked just like that at that age. Somebody owes me royalities. Where are they?

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Idk about you but I'm milking this thing for all it's worth, @FluffyChix! My mom and my husband both. I'm not allowed to drive for 2 weeks post-op so they can chauffeur me around and wait on me.

I feel much better. My meal was delicious, the massage was great, and I saw The Greatest Showman which was really wonderful! Then I had some retail therapy at Target... whoops but it was fun!

Of course I never did get a call from the scheduler today. This office, I tell you... The reason I chose this hospital was because my husband was treated there after his accident and it was a stellar experience from start to finish. I guess there's a big difference in emergent injuries vs. elective surgery! Or maybe just a big difference between the actual medical professionals and the admins who run their offices *prays no one from my surgeon's office reads these posts* Sorry, just tired of the snafus. I'll give them until around 11am tomorrow to call me, and after that I plan to call and not hang up until I get my new date.

Bahahahaha! My mom is gone home now, so no luck there for me. My oldest sissy has been there for me all through my cancer surgeries and she called last night to say she wanted to be with me for WLS. So we're getting the band back together. And I will get 1-on-1 Cakky time for 2 days. Score!

I'm so sorry about all this upheaval. I wish there was something I could do to help! Sometimes you just have to take a "me" break to get a handle on things. I'm praying you will get everything worked out today honey!!! (BTW your date with you sounded awesome!!)

Surgery is now scheduled for the 28th. I'm....... it is what it is. I'm hoping I wake up on 3/1 and still have health insurance so I'm not on the hook for the bill from March 1 & 2. I'm free from the liquid diet for now and start again on Valentine's Day.

((hugs)) Awww damn hon!! Ok, so what about this? Can you call your surgeon's office and tell them, that you're available to be moved up if they have an unexpected cancellation? And then just suck it up and go on the liquid diet to be on standby? Ask them if that ever happens?? Maybe they would call you and say, you're on for next week?

Glad to hear you got your new date, snafus and all. And LOL for the surgeon's comments about needing assistance after surgery -- that is too funny!