Hello

im a nurse of 41 yrs and have been approved for gastric bypass for many reasons including metabolic syndrome, failed diets, painful osteoarthritis gastric ulcers from those meds, hypercholesteremia etc etc

ive been scheduled for my insurance approved procedure now twice first time I discussed with husband he threatened divorce and was going to start to pack his bags , I gave it a 6 month effort of strong exercise regime along with my nursing schedule have had to drop my arthritis meds due to non healing ulcers after 3 EGD's finally healed and rescheduled and although I've been exercising the very best I could have I've GAINED 4-5 pounds and my bones and body is in extreme pain...again he stated he's going to divorce me if I have the surgery

he's 14 yrs younger exercises regularly but can't and won't understand a postmenopausal series of events leading me to my present health crisis..I don't over eat in fact I eat very healthy but liver enzymes cholesteroland glucose keep going up..( both my sisters are obese have headaches and high cholesterol..)I can't get him to attend doctors meetings or classes he just gets garbled info from his work customers of their troubles having surgery and I on the other hand have waited and watched at least seven other nurses in my own hospital department have my doctor perform their surgery w/o complications and great results

i want a better quality of life of life and hopefully extend my life but I also love and want my husband to stay with me

i know if issues don't resolve we'll get divorced or I'll get heavy and have heart problems develope or develop more ulcers which could end cancerous( aunt died of gastric cancer she also was a stressed out nurse died at age 60) I'm presently turning 64

i don't know what to do I feel ugly look ugly in pain have no love life at present because of the way I feel and he keeps telling me to get off my fat @ss and just exercise more... Please someone help if you've had this occur what did you do ?

my surgery reschedule is May8th

thank you for listening

On 2/2/2018 at 8:49 AM, PattyAnn39 said:

Hmmm. Sounds like an excuse for him to leave. The question is do you want him to leave? My ex-husband was the reason I was overweight in the first place. Unfortunately, I didn't get out soon enough. The stress of being married to an addict for 20 years ultimately gave me breast cancer as well.

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I just want to say, cancer happens to good people; nothing you did contributed to your BC.

30 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Or maybe this! Felicia is such a tool.

So who was the original Felicia?

5 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

So who was the original Felicia?

Remember the post where one of the replies was from a guy who was so hangry or something that he said something snarky to his boss and called him Felicia? I swear I've been using that name since then. Never ceases to make me laugh out loud. Seriously snort!

Robin Roberts for me -- I get it, but I'd really like to know why its Fecilicia, and not, say, Amy? Or Amanda? Or Megan?

15 minutes ago, Apple203 said:

So who was the original Felicia?

Here's the origins of "Bye Felicia" explained in detail.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/52505-what-does-bye-felicia-mean-why-are-people-saying-it-all-of-a-sudden

1 minute ago, elforman said:

Here's the origins of "Bye Felicia" explained in detail.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/52505-what-does-bye-felicia-mean-why-are-people-saying-it-all-of-a-sudden

Hahahahaha! Thank you SOOOO much for this!

If you drawl. it out you get a multitude,of syllables . Fell,Lee, ish, Shah. Now Felicia,don't get all upset, darlin' it'll be all better soon

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On 01/02/2018 at 5:18 AM, Copper5 said:

thank you for listening

Your husband is facing a two-edged sword:

1. He may genuinely feel that he will lose you on the operating table and is, therefore, trying to prevent that through whatever crappy reasoning he's using.

2. He may (separately or jointly with # 1) feel that you will improve your body, your life and lifestyle significantly over 18 months to two years if you have WLS. If that occurs, he may (in his confused forward thinking) assume that you will meet and run off with a better quality man.

What to do:

A. Tell him clearly why you are getting the surgery and ask him to give you his support.

B. Tell him that if he refuses # A that you really will still go ahead with your solution to your health/lifestyle for yourself. Add that you are not pleased about his objections but that you have to look after yourself for all the reasons you've outlined.

- - -

If, ultimately, he's not strong enough to support you, LET HIM GO.

To be frank ur weight seems to be in ur husband drop that dead weight first do what u need to do for urself and ur life even after people’s compilations u will always hear a wls patiant say I WOULD DO IT AGAIN the quality of life is so amazing personally I can do any everything now even fit in a plane seat?

Screw him.
Get the surgery.
Lose the weight.
Divorce him.
Marry a male underwear model.

[emoji38] Omg! The best post ever!

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[emoji38] Omg! The best post ever!

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I agree! LMAO ?

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Sounds like a boundary issue. I am learning to set healthy boundaries with my family. I have codependency. Melody Beatty's work helped me to set boundaries. http://melodybeattie.com

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Your happiness comes before anyone else! If he can't get on the support train, then let him leave. Who would want you to be overweight and increase your risks of health and the quality of your life? Is he insecure that you will leave him anyways? I would rather be alone then in a relationship with someone threatening to leave if you better yourself. No way!

3 hours ago, sleevedshereen said:

Your happiness comes before anyone else! If he can't get on the support train, then let him leave. Who would want you to be overweight and increase your risks of health and the quality of your life? Is he insecure that you will leave him anyways? I would rather be alone then in a relationship with someone threatening to leave if you better yourself. No way!

To answer your question a man who happens to be a Fat Admirer and can't get aroused unless the woman is obese. When I came to realize this was even possible I divorced him, and lost over 285 pounds from my own body.

Another name for Fat Admirer is Chubby Chaser, at least that is what we called them in the 60s.

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