Hello

im a nurse of 41 yrs and have been approved for gastric bypass for many reasons including metabolic syndrome, failed diets, painful osteoarthritis gastric ulcers from those meds, hypercholesteremia etc etc

ive been scheduled for my insurance approved procedure now twice first time I discussed with husband he threatened divorce and was going to start to pack his bags , I gave it a 6 month effort of strong exercise regime along with my nursing schedule have had to drop my arthritis meds due to non healing ulcers after 3 EGD's finally healed and rescheduled and although I've been exercising the very best I could have I've GAINED 4-5 pounds and my bones and body is in extreme pain...again he stated he's going to divorce me if I have the surgery

he's 14 yrs younger exercises regularly but can't and won't understand a postmenopausal series of events leading me to my present health crisis..I don't over eat in fact I eat very healthy but liver enzymes cholesteroland glucose keep going up..( both my sisters are obese have headaches and high cholesterol..)I can't get him to attend doctors meetings or classes he just gets garbled info from his work customers of their troubles having surgery and I on the other hand have waited and watched at least seven other nurses in my own hospital department have my doctor perform their surgery w/o complications and great results

i want a better quality of life of life and hopefully extend my life but I also love and want my husband to stay with me

i know if issues don't resolve we'll get divorced or I'll get heavy and have heart problems develope or develop more ulcers which could end cancerous( aunt died of gastric cancer she also was a stressed out nurse died at age 60) I'm presently turning 64

i don't know what to do I feel ugly look ugly in pain have no love life at present because of the way I feel and he keeps telling me to get off my fat @ss and just exercise more... Please someone help if you've had this occur what did you do ?

my surgery reschedule is May8th

thank you for listening

Well I forgot completely she Had it, is there actually something on Bariatric Pal I missed?

Sounds like he needs counseling

I agree with everyone here get the surgery and let him divorce you. Clearly he doesn’t love you.

Right now you need to love yourself more then you love him.

THIS IS A TRUTH. PERTAINING HEALTH ALWAY LOVE YOU MORE THAN OTHERS! We are granted only granted one body a lifetime. Seldom is a complimentary,Owners Manual given. It behooves us to keep ourselves a sleek race car instead of a junky jalopy
No gaurentee as to the smoothness, straightness., difficulty or,length of the road we,must,travel before our death.
So BE KIND , BE LOVING, DO PROPER MAINTAINANCE,ON THE BODY YOU ARE GIVEN FOR YOU SHALL NEVER BR GRANTED ANOTHER!

I had a man like that in my life who gave me the same ultimatum. He thought that people who couldn’t make change thru self-discipline had a character flaw. He also distrusted modern medicine. In retrospect, I think he had good intentions but now that I’m 100lbs lighter a year after surgery and he is gone, I joke that it was the first 185lbs that was the hardest to lose. The rest came right off! Lol! I don’t regret choosing my health over his fears. My body was crushing under the weight and I was on a slow and painful track to death. He may have had good intentions but he went about it in the wrong way, was negative, and a lot of the reason I gained the weight in the first place (I’m not shifting accountability, he just supplied the trigger).
He also gave me a hard time when I quit smoking.
During the wedding ceremony, he vowed that he would stand by your side for better and for worse. He needs to get to it.

@skinEminE I’m so sorry your husband did that to you. Glad you got rid of him!! You are worth love and that isn’t love. I feel very lucky. Mine is standing by me. He gets it.