So, the conversation went like this. Person who I’m sure I want in my life moving forward, “ ummm well, if that’s what you want to do. You know, I lost 50lbs the natural way but eating small portions and walking.”

Me: “ I’m glad you’re happy with your results. There’s no hard way or easy way, there’s only the permanent way and however means you choose to get there is the right way.”

The person I no longer like, “ well, sorry you don’t like what you see in the mirror that you want to mutualize your body to be “skinny” that’s really low self esteem”

WTF. by now I wanted to b***h slap someone but I took the high road and responded. “ you don’t have to understand or even agree with my decision but I ask that you respect it and me. “

End of conversation.

My rant goes: why the stigma of wls vs the natural way. I get so annoyed when I hear that statement. The perception that going the surgical route is not by any means the easy way to go.

End rant.

Because some people need to make others feel bad because they are miserable.

ALSO we have made weight and weightloss some moral thing where if you just have the willpower you can lose the weight, WHY WON'T YOU STOP EATING ALREADY?!!! despite tons of science and research stating that it isn't that simple for most people to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF.

Stop discussing your plans with that person or anyone else who is anything less than supportive and respectful.

This is why I only tell people on a need to know basis. My mom and sisters know. My mom isn't very happy about it but keeps her comments to herself. After talking to my sisters, they're very encouraging and happy for me. I've always been bigger and even when I lose weight, I gain it right back and they know this.

If surgery is such an easy way why have I worn my self to such a frazzle trying to receive mine?.? I can't count the trips I've made to Columbus, 50 miles each way, since August 2015 and I may be 1 more skosh closer than last week. Feel like I should have been given frequent flyer miles or something!

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Yeah by no means is this easy at all it is drastically changing your relationship with food and that I know is hard for a lot of folks most people's family's use food to celebrate like everything so it can take a toll emotionally getting the separation between food and family time. Also yeah spouses treat you different when you lose a significant amount of weight this is hard on everyone so keep strong guys people be ignorant

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Not easy in anyway.
It’s a life changing experience.
It makes life better and expectations greater.

I am entering @jessgnc's words into the journal of my Bariatric Journey, she summed up well what I was thinking. Thank you Jess!?

My parents said why dont you just diet and exercise like youve done before this is so extreme.... yes LIKE IVE DONE BEFORE. I have lost and regained PLUS some at least 3 or 4 times, most of those times i did get down to my goal weight. But i didnt treat it as a lifestyle change. It was a diet until i didnt have to diet anymore. Not to mention everyone, including them, is overweight in my family. If its so easy to just diet and eat right we wouldnt be having this conversation. I can lose the weight. But i cant keep it off without help without permanant tools to keep me in line. This is exactly what i need and my surgeon agrees. Most people will never understand because they dont know what all comes along with it---its not easy, its different. But just as hard. Dont let people get to you guys! And only tell who you KNOW will support you--or dont tell anyone! This is your journey! Who goes on it with you is your choice!

On 1/30/2018 at 9:45 AM, jessgnc said:

UGH. I read your post and got irrationally mad. It's the reason I didn't tell most people about my surgery beforehand. I don't need your unsolicited opinion on how *I* should handle *MY* body.

Maybe for them eating small portions and exercise worked. For me, I had a medical condition which wouldn't let my body lose weight. So despite eating right and exercising, it wasn't enough.

Next, it isn't about being skinny. It is about being healthy. My body is a car. I want what is under the hood to work well so I can drive it around for years to come. If good maintenance results in a good looking exterior, awesome. But that isn't the main goal.

Finally, f**k her for thinking it is the easy way out. The easy way out is doing nothing. The hard way is:

* Accepting you need help. This one may sound easy but I know that for me, this was admitting that I couldn't handle this myself. It was admitting defeat.
* Saving money for the doctor. Going to classes and education sessions for months to qualify for a major surgery.
* Going on a strict diet prior to surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet after surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet and Vitamin routine for the rest of your life.

So the "easy" way out is an insanely strict diet and major surgery to get a tool installed?

Screw her. Sorry, you touched a nerve here. One of my husband's friends lived with us for about 6 months. He had gone from 350lbs to about 150 after getting diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. How did he do this? He switched from drinking a 12 pack of regular soda daily to a 12 pack of diet soda. Seriously, that was it and the weight evaporated off of him. I had to live with 6 months of watching him drink a gallon of milk a day, 12+ sodas daily and nothing but fast food, while he'd preach to me about how easy it was to lose weight if I just put in some effort. Meanwhile, I was weighing all of my meals, not touching carbs (or soda) and working out with no results.

My boyfriend started to get fat.... he stopped drinking soda for a month--boom back to his regular weight. Me? I DONT EVEN DRINK SODA. NEVER HAVE. Its just not fair ??????

Some days I swear I could gain weigh just breathing air or drinking water. But,i can see small. Non scale victories , now to just make them more frequent and maybe someday they will be big enough the world will notice too?

On 28.4.2018 at 1:29 AM, WildcatGirl71 said:

Rubbish. Even on this board there are people admitting they never lost weight more easily.

Rubbish. Even on this board there are people admitting they never lost weight more easily.

Losing the weight is easier. Changing your entire life and way of eating - very hard.

I gotta agree with @summerset, mainly because I've never lost 30/35 pounds before, despite MANY failed attempts. I just don't lose more than 20 or so -- sure hope I am not in the small percentage that fail with surgery. :-(

I have to admit, though I've had a weight problem starting at 8 year old due to insulin resistance and pcos, I've always thought that surgery was the easier route. Then I got pregnant after multiple miscarriages and with the help of clomid, and my opinion has mostly changed. The doctors were all telling me I was 100000% going to develop gestational diabetes, so I ate zero sugar and lower carbs than normal, and only gained 10lbs (baby girl was 7 lbs 1 Oz and 3 lbs for the liquids and placenta... Didn't gain any fat) and didn't develop GD. Though I kicked ass and proved every single person wrong, I absolutely donnot want to have the same struggles I had last year, all the appointments, all the judgment (my OB is amazing though, she's a Rockstar and was very proud of me) and I have to say, though I workout 3 days a week on average, I've been eating less than 45 carbs a day for 6 years and before that it was 60 for 4 years before that, low to no sugar the weight never ever comes off, I stay in the same 15lbs for months and month! Sure!! I can workout more and lower my carbs but that's absolutely not sustainable, so to me to surgery may make losing weight easier, it's very true, it does, your cutting your stomach dude, but it's so much a tool to stay healthy the rest of my life, for my husband and daughter, future kids and family! Now I don't or ever did have am addiction to food or anything I can imagine the change in lifestyle for somebody who did, it would be extremely hard! But if you're making the change why would anybody be negative looking in.... I'm lucky enough to have an extremely supportive family, and especially my husband and mom, they've been through everything with me, my mom was the one whom found out I even have pcos and insulin resistance. My big brother was a Marine, husband is AF and deployed right now and they're are like, super duper oh work out and eat healthy! It's simple (I am too, to an extent!) , but my brother especially is understanding to my IR and pcos. If you read this whole thing, you're amazing lol. I guess I just needed to vent

@fingers crossed18 thank you also for your service, yes, family members of an overseasperson also play a very important role. They are able to be all they can be with your love and support. I salute you also. I think all of us here in the US should pray for their safety and a swift return back,of the the people who love,them. Bless you as well.
Never give up either in weight loss and life, for love sustains you when nothing else can. Smiles and a Hug??