Hi all,

I’m new to this forum (and to the idea of having surgery to start with actually) so I’m at the beginner stage where I’m still doing my research.

I thought that this would be an ideal place to start because that way I could get advice from people who have been through it.

To get the basics out of the way, I’m 26 years old, female, living in the North East of England. Single and without children (and many friends due to being quite a hermit recently!).

I’m 5”6 and 20 stone, that’s 127kg or 280lbs for those who aren’t from the UK.

I would like to hear about other peoples experiences and stories and to just discuss the whole thing really.

Since I like bullet points ( I feel it keeps things neatly ordered ) I’ll go ahead with some questions in that form.

- How do I know if surgery is right for me and how did others come to that conclusion for themselves?

- What factors are taken into consideration when chosing what type of surgery to get (bypass, sleeve etc) ?

- Did anyone feel any shame or embarassment about it? And if so, why and how did they deal with it?

- Did anyone have to deal with criticism?

- Did anyone keep it a secret or can it even be kept a secret?

- How did everyone go about asking their doctor for surgery?

I have many more questions but I’m not sure if anyone will respond to this post so I will withhold them for now. I don’t want to overload anyone!

I hope I get responses on here as I’m not quite sure where to turn at the minute.

Take care all

Hi all,
I’m new to this forum (and to the idea of having surgery to start with actually) so I’m at the beginner stage where I’m still doing my research.
I thought that this would be an ideal place to start because that way I could get advice from people who have been through it.
To get the basics out of the way, I’m 26 years old, female, living in the North East of England. Single and without children (and many friends due to being quite a hermit recently!).
I’m 5”6 and 20 stone, that’s 127kg or 280lbs for those who aren’t from the UK.
I would like to hear about other peoples experiences and stories and to just discuss the whole thing really.
Since I like bullet points ( I feel it keeps things neatly ordered [emoji14] ) I’ll go ahead with some questions in that form.
- How do I know if surgery is right for me and how did others come to that conclusion for themselves?
- What factors are taken into consideration when chosing what type of surgery to get (bypass, sleeve etc) ?
- Did anyone feel any shame or embarassment about it? And if so, why and how did they deal with it?
- Did anyone have to deal with criticism?
- Did anyone keep it a secret or can it even be kept a secret?
- How did everyone go about asking their doctor for surgery?
I have many more questions but I’m not sure if anyone will respond to this post so I will withhold them for now. I don’t want to overload anyone! [emoji14]
I hope I get responses on here as I’m not quite sure where to turn at the minute.
Take care all [emoji4]

Hi, welcome. I’m Jaz, I’m 25 and 5”6 as well, current weight 240, and I am currently pre-op, but I can answer some of your questions.

-I’ve always been overweight, even as a child...after gaining over 100lbs after having my 2 kids I didn’t want to be overweight anymore, by that time I was touching 300lbs. I tried various forms of weight loss, and I even really enjoy going to the gym and walking, but the most I could lose was about 20lbs, then it would just stop, dieting always left me feeling hungry and miserable. I started to consider liposuction, and other procedures, but I could never afford it. I met a friend last year though, who had the gastric bypass herself, and she started to explain to me the 3 surgeries and how they worked, showing me her before and after pics, and telling me her story and that it was paid in full by her insurance..and her story sounded so similar to my own. That’s the moment that I started to consider surgery...so I did my research for a few weeks, and seeing all of the people that were just like me, who had struggled with obesity and weight loss just like me, but had used surgery as a tool to help them overcome, seeing all of that is how I knew that surgery was for me.

-Initially I was DEAD SET on having the gastric bypass, but after talking to my surgeon and doing more research myself we decided that the gastric sleeve was the better option for me..I had done so much research on bypass surgery that I hadn’t even considered the sleeve...They do consider some things as far as health goes, for example, they recommend a person with GERD not have the sleeve because the sleeve can make GERD worse. Definitely do your research on each surgery and talk with the surgeon before you decide.

-There probably are some people in this world that feel shame for having/considering surgery, fortunately for me I am not one of them.lol. This whole journey/experience is extremely invigorating for me. I’ve finally decided to take charge of my life and health and do the thing that I KNOW is best for ME! A negative mindset and negative opinions about surgery can completely discourage you, so if you make the decision to utilize this amazing tool be sure about it, and do it for you and you alone.

-I believe that at one point or another everyone in the WLS community has had to or will have to deal with some form of criticism. I’ve been told I was taking the “easy way out” and asked why I won’t just diet and exercise instead, oh and of course I’ve been told I could lose the weight on my own if I “really wanted to”.lol. Of course these people don’t know how I feel, what I’ve tried, or what I’ve been through, but have so many opinions about what they think I should do.lol...Ultimately, the way that we decide to handle criticism is totally on us. It can either make you, break you, or not phase you at all. I choose not to let it phase me.

-A lot of people do keep surgery a secret, but it’s a process that you will REALLY need support in, whether it’s a friend, family member, or someone that’s gone through or is going through it themselves. I decided to tell my mother, my significant other, my siblings, a few co workers, and few choice friends..this is my way of avoiding the stress and extra opinions on my decision..even with the few people that I told there was still some negative back lash, but I made this decision for ME, so it didn’t discourage me at all, and after I have the surgery I will be an open book about it, telling anyone that wants or needs to know.

-As far as bringing it up to my doctor goes I didn’t, he brought it up to me.lol. I simply asked him what I could do to lose weight, I was working my way up to asking when he asked me if I had considered it.lol. So I avoided having to have that talk.

I hope all of this helped! Good luck on your decision!

Thanks so much for your reply Jaz! And thank you for going into each of my questions too, I was worried the length of my question would put people off.

- How do I know if surgery is right for me and how did others come to that conclusion for themselves?

That's a question we all have to find an answer to on our own. I've fought being overweight all my life. I considered WLS over the years but sadly kept talking myself out of it. Yes, it's a drastic change, but a lot of it was the "Oh noes! I can't make a pig out of myself on Thanksgiving any longer! What ever will I do!"

What pushed me over the edge was that I was continuing to gain more weight. My sciatica had gotten so bad that walking was painful for more than 5 minutes at a time. I lived that way for almost 2 years and said enough was enough. It was either back surgery or get the weight off. I wanted to do everything I could before having to consider back surgery. Talked with my family doc and he was fully on board with me having WLS and thought it would be best for me.

- What factors are taken into consideration when chosing what type of surgery to get (bypass, sleeve etc) ?

Personally I think it depends on what you struggle with. For me it wasn't sweets and candy. It was pretty much all portion control problems. Sure I love ice cream like anyone else, but it was always going back for that second plate of pasta that was doing me in. While the bypass was appealing in that it could cause a greater overall weight loss (and quicker) I was put off by the extra vitamins and other concerns about getting in all my nutrients. In the end I was okay with maybe not losing as much or weight coming off a bit slower.

- Did anyone feel any shame or embarassment about it? And if so, why and how did they deal with it?

Sure, there was some embarassment. It felt like I was admitting defeat and fought that stigma of "taking the easy way out." Having gone through it now I can say it's no easy way out. It's a tool that has helped me greatly but it required a lot of lifestyle changes that weren't easy to overcome.

- Did anyone have to deal with criticism?

Honestly have yet to face anyone that has been critical of my decision. Lot of others on here haven't been so lucky unfortunately. I'm sure I'll face a few in time, but all in all it's not something I would worry too much about. It's your decision to make.

- Did anyone keep it a secret or can it even be kept a secret?

You'll find many on here that have kept it a secret. Again it's a personal preference. I'd rather be open and honest about it and if somebody doesn't want to be my friend because of I'd rather know about it so I can tell them to sod off...lol

- How did everyone go about asking their doctor for surgery?

Again I'll reference back to my sciatica issues. I'd been trying various treatments for over a year with no success. Told my doc I was considering it and he recommended it. From there I started researching on my own and started with who would be in my insurance network.

There are a lot of pros & cons with having WLS as well as risks. I was one that had some complications a few days after surgery that made for a miserable week at the hospital. Even with that I wouldn't change a thing. It's something I truly wish I would have done all those years ago.

Hiyaaaa ive just joined too , im from north east england too

im 44 , and pre op too , ive got my consultant appointment at the end of this month -

im hopefully goin to have a bypass , i have told a few people but not everyone (all of my family know) ,

i need to lose at least 10 stone , for my health and also i have a umbilical hernia which they refuse to operate on whilst im so 'grossly overweight' (hernia consultants words!!)

hernia consultant referred me , but my own GP referred me too - i just went in and asked (shy bairns get nowt and all that lol) ive been lost in the system a few times - but it seems to be all systems go now (hopefully)

how are you getting on ? any further forward ?

xxxxxx