Anyone jealous?

[Rucamama 104]

So I have only told a couple people about going through this process immediate family and few close friends, and I feel like ever since I told my girlfriend she has been acting different. When I told her she said she was jealous of me, and now when I bring it up she doesn't really say anything I was hoping for a little support from her. So now I don't want to tell my other bf bc she has made comments about her cousin who has had the surgery like "look at her Fb she posts all these photos of herself in skimpy clothes... she did it the easy way" I think she says it out of jealousy... so now I'm afraid to tell her this exciting news. Is it wrong to let her think I've lost the weight naturally? Has anyone else experienced this? I haven't had the surgery yet but it will happen in the next couple of months... should I just keep it to myself?

[KKLive 11]

I only told a few people that were going to help me after surgery. Anyone else, I've kept it to myself and told them I was going in for surgery for something else. I just feel like I don't need to explain how I'm losing weight and taking care of myself. I can see how people may be Jealous , but they can go and get the surgery through their insurance if they need it too.

[blondie66 271]

Yes some people will get annoyed with your weight loss...I dunno if it's jealous or what but you'll get the mean and judgemental comments. This is your journey if they want to have the surgery they can speak to their doctors. I told a very obese colleague at work I had the surgery cause she asked me about my weight loss and I was trying to help her - said if u have any questions we can go for coffee....well it was used against me to judge me and she told everyone. I'm 2 years post op and the surgery honestly is only a tool I could gain back my weight so the surgery helps the 1st year to get the weight off but u have to do the work...it's not the easy way as so many people think but it is an effective way.

[Berry78 4,259]

I live with my husband and inlaws (and kids). My MIL is heavy. My hubby is heavy. They both are extremely happy for me in my successes, but at the same time, there IS a bit of jealousy. My hubby doesn't come across as such, but 4 months postop, he suddenly starts a diet himself

My MIL bounces between sticking her tongue out at me at the mention of my losses, and celebrating cheek bones.

I weigh every day. I write my weight on the calendar once a week. I've only mentioned my actual weight to my MIL about 4 times. She guesses (always 10 pounds off one way or the other), then I'll tell her... I guess it's about once a month.

My hubby was trying to guess yesterday, but I didn't want him to feel bad, so I brushed past the #s issue and dug down to the important part of the conversation.

Even though the eating and weight and process are all-engrossing for us, it's important to minimize the process' importance around other people. Learn how to communicate information and gratitude for compliments, but don't let the conversation get bogged down talking about you.

[Deleted Account 151]

11 hours ago, Rucamama said:

So I have only told a couple people about going through this process immediate family and few close friends, and I feel like ever since I told my girlfriend she has been acting different. When I told her she said she was jealous of me, and now when I bring it up she doesn't really say anything I was hoping for a little support from her. So now I don't want to tell my other bf bc she has made comments about her cousin who has had the surgery like "look at her Fb she posts all these photos of herself in skimpy clothes... she did it the easy way" I think she says it out of jealousy... so now I'm afraid to tell her this exciting news. Is it wrong to let her think I've lost the weight naturally? Has anyone else experienced this? I haven't had the surgery yet but it will happen in the next couple of months... should I just keep it to myself?

I wouldn't tell her, but she's going to be jealous anyway after you lose all that weight. 😀

[SeaShells82 96]

I made the decision to be honest about how I was losing weight - in part to help educate people that this is NOT the "easy way". I've only gotten crap 2 times when I've told people about getting sleeved and after I shot back with "that's like telling me I cheated at skydiving by using a parachute", they both shut up and started listening to the science behind my choice.

[blondie66 271]

That's a good response!

[JohnnyCakes 593]

19 hours ago, Rucamama said:

So I have only told a couple people about going through this process immediate family and few close friends, and I feel like ever since I told my girlfriend she has been acting different. When I told her she said she was jealous of me, and now when I bring it up she doesn't really say anything I was hoping for a little support from her. So now I don't want to tell my other bf bc she has made comments about her cousin who has had the surgery like "look at her Fb she posts all these photos of herself in skimpy clothes... she did it the easy way" I think she says it out of jealousy... so now I'm afraid to tell her this exciting news.

your friend sounds like a b*tch.

Edited August 24, 2017 by JohnnyCakes

[Rucamama 104]

your friend sounds like a b*tch.

🤣🤣. I'll just be over hear dreaming about my up and coming summer bod!! Seriously tho can't stop from looking at before and after pics of people!! Pure motivation baby!!

[Cheeselife 68]

Im 18 months out from sleeve, had a revision to bypass two weeks ago. I have only told a handful of people because I was really judgemental about bariatric surgery and I can't face the comments. A therapist reminded me that it's not anyone else's business, plus it's not a secret, just something I prefer to keep private.

I have told a few heavy friends because pretending it was possible to lose do much through diet and exercise felt like a betrayal. Though I did start running regularly, which definitely sped up my weight loss.

I'm 148 lbs, down from 267. Had the bypass due to GERD and a stricture.

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[SippinAintEasy 78]

I'm two weeks post op...the "easy" part of this journey is fresh in my mind. If she says, "the easy way" one more time, give her my number. I'll tell her just how "easy" it is....

But in all seriousness, it's none of their business. We've been so judged by society based on how we look. No need to bring on more judgement of how we've decided to take control. I only told a few safe people. (My in laws don't even know.) If I had to tell ppl I was having surgery, I would just say it was for some digestive issues--which is true. Only one person probed deeper and I said, "it's weird to talk about because it's kinda personal." People probably think I have some bowel issue, but I don't care.

When my weight loss starts to show and ppl start to inevitably ask, I plan on telling them "I just started taking care of myself. High Protein, low carb and lots of walking." All true. My nutritionist also suggested to just deflect and ask them questions about themselves as people generally like to talk about themselves and will soon forget about your skinny butt.

You get to take care of you right now. You've lived under the scrutiny of a culture that discriminates against the obese. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If they don't like it, that's in their yard, not yours. No one should make you feel bad for your decision to take care of yourself. Is it extreme? Yeah. But it's also brave and courageous.

[Cheeselife 68]

Im with Sippin! I'm 18 months out from sleeve surgery and I've lost 120 lbs. I said I was having a hernia repair and was told to go on a liquid diet. If anyone probed I said I used it as a jumping off point and kept up the liquid diet for a while, then gradually added real food but focussed on Protein and making better choices. I also took exercise seriously and ran 3-4 days a week, plus hit the gym. Health issues have put a stop to that for the last 6 months, but I'm keen to get back to being fit!

Not even my parents know about my surgery. Im ashamed that I'm doing bariatric surgery a disservice by not being open about how difficult it really is, but I'm just not brave enough.

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[BarbarahC 6]

Anyone who thinks that bariatric surgery is the easy way out, has absolutely NO idea what it entails. A person can out-eat ANY surgery. I'm almost 15 years out. Sure, the weight comes off fast at first. Then you need to keep working to keep it off. I still weigh myself everyday.
GBP is a last resort, not an easy way out. And, no, I have never regretted my decision to have one.

[bev1018 6]

I've told a very limited amount of people.. the ones I've told seem to be jealous but also seem to be interested in the process for themselves as well. My mother just recently had it done so she's be very supportive. My husband feels I'll get skinny and leave him [emoji17] it's a downer.

[BarbarahC 6]

I've told a very limited amount of people.. the ones I've told seem to be jealous but also seem to be interested in the process for themselves as well. My mother just recently had it done so she's be very supportive. My husband feels I'll get skinny and leave him it's a downer.

I was very open about my surgery and I found it beneficial. Yes, there were some naysayers & some who were jealous. But at the same time, my story encouraged quite a number of others to seek help, and they, in turn, encouraged others.
As for your husband, if he treats you well and loves you deeply. And you love him deeply, all you can do is reassure him that you're still the same person, no matter what you weigh.