I am two weeks post op and just transitioned to "soft proteins." I work in a small office and we always go out to get lunch and eat together as a group at the office. I told everyone that I was out for hiatal hernia repair and have explained to them that I have some diet restrictions as a result. All last week at work I ate my purees/liquids at my desk. This week I decided to join back up with the group and I am getting so many inquiries about my small portion sizes and diet plan. Its getting difficult to keep up the charade. I want to eat with everyone else like normal. I don't want to be rude, but I do want all the questions to stop. Any advice?

Personally, I say just be honest. There comes a point where everyone is going to make their assumptions and then give you a lot of "side eye". I realize its personal and you may not want to share, but people are naturally curious and if you want to be with them, then they deserve your honesty. No judgment, btw. I totally understand.

I would tell them it's fine, you are taking advantage of the post op hiatal hernia diet to lose a few pounds. I told the girls at work I couldn't have bread. If you are honest they will watch you like Hawks and wait for you to slip.

Yes, at work I usually act like I devoured a whole portion of which I know I can't. But when I'm offered food I just eat a little and save the rest.

I would just tell them,it will be much easier for you

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To tell or not to tell... this is such a hotly debated topic and there are valid reasons for both. In the end, do whatever makes you most comfortable and makes your life easier.

I chose not to tell. I'm very proud of my decision to have WLS but I have low patience for BS. I love a spirited debate and don't mind a difference of opinion, but most people are uninformed about obesity and WLS and carry some serious prejudices. I don't want to hear anyone's uneducated comments, no matter how well intentioned they are - or worse, get watched like a hawk. I don't want that kind of irritation in my life.

I told everyone that I was following a doctor supervised liquid diet for a few weeks (like medifast). It helped answer the rapid weight loss questions too.

To tell or not to tell... this is such a hotly debated topic and there are valid reasons for both. In the end, do whatever makes you most comfortable and makes your life easier.
I chose not to tell. I'm very proud of my decision to have WLS but I have low patience for BS. I love a spirited debate and don't mind a difference of opinion, but most people are uninformed about obesity and WLS and carry some serious prejudices. I don't want to hear anyone's uneducated comments, no matter how well intentioned they are - or worse, get watched like a hawk. I don't want that kind of irritation in my life.
I told everyone that I was following a doctor supervised liquid diet for a few weeks (like medifast). It helped answer the rapid weight loss questions too.

I agree with you. I committed long ago to not telling because I do not want my medical and weight issues to be topic of conversation in my place of work. To me, that is inappropriate and intrusive.

I would tell them it's fine, you are taking advantage of the post op hiatal hernia diet to lose a few pounds. I told the girls at work I couldn't have bread. If you are honest they will watch you like Hawks and wait for you to slip.

Thank you for your advice. That is exactly what I've been doing so far. I can't wait for them to get the hint and stop commenting!

I told my co-workers (we are all physicians) and they have been so supportive (a couple even bringing me protein samples from relatives who had WLS). We also eat in our office so I knew not telling them they would figure it out. This morning was our monthly birthday celebration breakfast with bagels and it was hard to say no mentally. It's been nice to have the support of people around me. I haven't told all the nurses and other people I work with yet but am not afraid to tell them if it comes up.

"Thanks for your concern, but my doctor has me on a restricted diet - I have to be careful due to my surgery and will be eating this way for some time to come. Would you like me to pass the donuts to you?"

Keep repeating that. Over and over. Sooner or later, they will get the message.

I just tell people hat I don't eat that stuff anymore! Seems to suffice. I have told most people about the surgery, but not others. I was just talking to my husband the other night about how I feel like I am being deceptive to people when I don't tell them the whole truth. However, I have decided that when I tell people that I don't eat bread, pasta, rice or sugar, I am not lying...and it is not easy! When I tell people that I don't drink caffeine anymore, it is the truth...and it is not easy. When I tell people that I get up at 4am to work out before work, and then come home and ride 10 miles on my bike, I am not lying, and...it is not easy! I am 7 months post op, and even though I have had a perfect recovery with no issues, it has not been easy! I am down 68 pounds, and still have 56 to go to my goal. I have to celebrate that instead of worrying about what others might think, or beating myself up about not telling the whole truth. The truth is that I have changed my eating habits, and I do exercise every day. They stop asking after a while, and I have noticed that they just comment on how great I look now. If they want to speculate on whether or not I am telling the whole truth, then I say let them speculate! I know how hard I am working, and I don't need to explain it to anyone, or feel bad about not sharing all of the details. I got enough to worry about on my own without taking on their baggage. You'll be fine Redo2017! Just hang in there and let them talk! [emoji3] It does get easier, and you will be eating more normal very soon. You will just eat less, which aligns with telling people that you are watching your portion control.

I avoided lying or not telling people for just this reason. If you want to be really mysterious and keep folks at bay just tell them it's a personal medical issue. That should shut them up right quick.

For me, I'm upfront about it. I lived with so much shame surrounding my food, my body, my choices, eating, etc. I felt that not telling people what I've had done just perpetuates that shame. And now that I've dropped 8 sizes in under a year...it would be very hard to keep up the story. lol!

Good luck! My advice to you is to tell the truth to one or two who you know will keep your confidence. But ask them to help you with dealing with others. But you know the old adage about how to keep a secret...(No, I'm not advocating you kill someone. ahahahahah!!!)

I just tell people hat I don't eat that stuff anymore! Seems to suffice. I have told most people about the surgery, but not others. I was just talking to my husband the other night about how I feel like I am being deceptive to people when I don't tell them the whole truth. However, I have decided that when I tell people that I don't eat bread, pasta, rice or sugar, I am not lying...and it is not easy! When I tell people that I don't drink caffeine anymore, it is the truth...and it is not easy. When I tell people that I get up at 4am to work out before work, and then come home and ride 10 miles on my bike, I am not lying, and...it is not easy! I am 7 months post op, and even though I have had a perfect recovery with no issues, it has not been easy! I am down 68 pounds, and still have 56 to go to my goal. I have to celebrate that instead of worrying about what others might think, or beating myself up about not telling the whole truth. The truth is that I have changed my eating habits, and I do exercise every day. They stop asking after a while, and I have noticed that they just comment on how great I look now. If they want to speculate on whether or not I am telling the whole truth, then I say let them speculate! I know how hard I am working, and I don't need to explain it to anyone, or feel bad about not sharing all of the details. I got enough to worry about on my own without taking on their baggage. You'll be fine Redo2017! Just hang in there and let them talk! [emoji3] It does get easier, and you will be eating more normal very soon. You will just eat less, which aligns with telling people that you are watching your portion control.

Awesome advice all around! Sounds like you are crushing your new lifestyle! Thank you so much for the encouragement.

I avoided lying or not telling people for just this reason. If you want to be really mysterious and keep folks at bay just tell them it's a personal medical issue. That should shut them up right quick.

For me, I'm upfront about it. I lived with so much shame surrounding my food, my body, my choices, eating, etc. I felt that not telling people what I've had done just perpetuates that shame. And now that I've dropped 8 sizes in under a year...it would be very hard to keep up the story. lol!

Same. Part of my telling people was because I had to deal with the shame and feeling like a failure part of wls.

And it sure as hell ain't the easy way out.

20 hours ago, Ldyvenus said:

I would tell them it's fine, you are taking advantage of the post op hiatal hernia diet to lose a few pounds. I told the girls at work I couldn't have bread. If you are honest they will watch you like Hawks and wait for you to slip.

Its all about personal preference, but I disagree. There is not a single solitary soul at my place of employment that doesn't know I had surgery and I work in a HQ office for a large insurance/roadside assistance company. Everyone is overwhelmingly supportive and they encourage me everyday. If they are watching me like a hawk or talking about me behind my back, I'm sure it pales in comparision to what they were saying about me when I was waddling in the office, breathless everyday.

I made my lunch yesterday and my boss was like 'that's all you're going to eat?' I was like yes, but don't worry I eat every 2 hours. Everyone just thinks I'm being super healthy because my wedding is coming in October and I'm killing myself in the gym-which I am.

No one needs to know your business and just tell them you're watching what you eat.