BariatricPal Members,

I wanted to remind you all about BariatricPal’s purpose and policies. If you do not want to read this entire post, please at least read the following points!

• BariatricPal is a safe place for the weight loss surgery community.
• No rudeness or disrespect will be permitted.
• Your use of BariatricPal implies your acceptance of the Forum Rules.
• Failure to follow the Forum Rules can lead to consequences included lifetime bans from BariatricPal.

Now for the complete version:

I created BariatricPal in 2003 to help other bariatric surgery patients. I want the forums to be able to help everyone reach their weight loss surgery and health goals. My goal is to maintain the forums as a place for weight loss surgery patients and potential patients to come for information and support.

BariatricPal is intended to be a safe place for the entire weight loss surgery community. I want EVERY SINGLE MEMBER to feel welcome on this board. You should feel comfortable asking questions, expressing doubts, and sharing advice, insights, and experiences.

Unfortunately, this has not been the case recently. I have heard from multiple sources that some members are uncomfortable here. They feel attacked when they post. I have heard this not only from newbie and veteran members, but also from bariatric surgeons, nurses, and psychologists who are members of ASMBS and who have heard concerns about BariatricPal from their patients.

A tiny minority of BariatricPal members are responsible for creating these concerns. The vast majority of BariatricPal members have wonderful, helpful, positive, and informative posts. I thank you for that. You are responsible for BariatricPal’s success.

A few of you, I suspect, truly want to help, but may come off sounding a little harsher than you meant. This can be off-putting to members who have sincere questions and are looking for guidance. To prevent accidentally hurting other members, I urge you to re-read the Forum Rules for suggestions on making your posts helpful rather than hurtful.

There is a tiny minority of BariatricPal members who have gone far beyond the occasional misconstrued post. It is these members who have prevented the forums from being a safe place for everyone. They repeatedly and intentionally start threads or respond to members with disparaging or rude remarks. They often imply or state outright that they are correct and that other posters are doomed to fail. They send private messages urging their friends to bully other members who disagree with them. This does not create a safe space for members!

Anyone who violates the Forum Rules is subject to consequences, include being permanently banned from BariatricPal.

The Forum Rules state, “All members have the right to express their opinions and are encouraged to do so while maintaining a courteous tone.” Disagreeing with someone and expressing yourself politely to say so is one thing. Intentionally hurting others is quite another. If you are unsure of how to respond to a post without being rude, please refer to the Forum Rules for examples and guidelines.

Again, I thank the overwhelming majority of BariatricPal members who are just trying to help, and who have done a wonderful job of lending a hand or ear to those who need it. I hope you all recognize the value you each bring to the boards, and you consider how you can contribute in the most constructive way possible.

Thank you!

@whitesale you've been here what 3 days move along off this thread you don't even understand why people are upset your so new.

I'm sure she's been on before Dec...Just a new profile of one of the members who start this BS.

No, she's new!! She is the bathroom floor crier!!

Update on my post #30 -- for accuracy and fairness:

The post by Alex in which he refers to PM's containing nauseating things was not deleted. It's post #10.

That's what I said!!! lol

If you want to leave kindly leave and stop behaving like whiny children. For people who claim to be so selflessly willing to help, your whining betrays a lot.

Sent from my SM-N900P using the BariatricPal App

And now he's apparently changing the banned users names to things like Time To Grow Up and Stop Being a Child.

This is your leader, folks.

Hey Alex, how about you take your own advice?

If you want to leave kindly leave and stop behaving like whiny children. For people who claim to be so selflessly willing to help, your whining betrays a lot.


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Ah, name-calling, the last bastion of the uneducated.

I was only gone a few days... what on Earth happened?

No you all are just annoying. I've never heard people make this much noise about leaving an internet forum..

Sent from my SM-N900P using the BariatricPal App

Alex, Thank you for admitting that you have taken away our personal rights when we joined BP.

Reading pm's? Seriously???

Nothing is sacred anymore. DELETE MY ACCOUNT!!!

I don't want to be associated with this site anymore.

I don't want my email address shared, I don't want my info shared and I sure as hell don't want you reading my pm's. Which part of PERSONAL don't you get???

@Alex Breacher... please delete the accounts for those who want to leave. You don't want us here and we don't want to be here. If it is about member numbers new ones will replace us ina few weeks. FYI this is my official request to be deleted. Deleting posts was bad... banning people terrible but reading PMs is beyond unacceptable.

EVERY SINGLE POSTER, without exception, who have defended Alex's decisions have joined within the past 6 months. If that doesn't speak volumes about the type of member being courted by this site I don't know what would. Veterans who have met goal do not spend $$ in the store, or support recommended surgeons/healthcare facilities (Medical Tourism).

Gone is the experience the veterans so freely shared. Sure, their advice was not always rainbows and unicorns, but it was truthful.

Some of us do NOT want coddled, we want help on this journey. We want information that can ONLY come from those that have lived it!

Although this is my first post, I have been lurking, reading & researching for over a year.

@@White Sale Or you could skip the thread and move along yourself. I'll have my say, thanks.

I've been running BariatricPal in one form or another since 2003. I can count on one hand the times that I've had no choice but to log in to a members account to read through their PMs. One of these cases involved a suicidal member who called me a few weeks after an incident to thank us for saving her life. It takes a lot for us to go into an account and read through PMs. Privacy means a great deal to me. What "trumps" privacy though is member safety. Our members need to feel safe here. I'd love to post screenshots of the PMs that were recently discovered but our policy is and always has been to keep all member information private. There was a coordinated effort to make fun of members and another to bully them because they didn't conform or agree with certain members. I have three kids, two dogs and a pretty busy life. The last thing I find entertaining is reading through member PMs. Yes, we have full access (even to deleted PMs) and we've never hidden that fact.

We currently have 310,273 members. Do you really think it's going to impact our membership levels if I delete 10-20 accounts? I think not. I'm not deleting your accounts on principle. You are more than welcome to WALK AWAY and never come back to this website. Nobody is forcing you to return. You can click on UNSUBSCRIBE from the forum as well as the store emails you might receive. We have never shared our email list with others and we don't ever plan on doing that.

I knew this purge was going to cause a mini uproar but I think it'll benefit BariatricPal in the long term. I'm tired of seeing members bullied in the name of tough love or whatever twisted logic some members come up with as an excuse to terrorize others.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch I LOVE your ability to turn a phrase <3 I might stay around just for you...we can exchange salacious private messages to titillate our moderators

I've been running BariatricPal in one form or another since 2003. I can count on one hand the times that I've had no choice but to log in to a members account to read through their PMs. One of these cases involved a suicidal member who called me a few weeks after an incident to thank us for saving her life. It takes a lot for us to go into an account and read through PMs. Privacy means a great deal to me. What "trumps" privacy though is member safety. Our members need to feel safe here. I'd love to post screenshots of the PMs that were recently discovered but our policy is and always has been to keep all member information private. There was a coordinated effort to make fun of members and another to bully them because they didn't conform or agree with certain members. I have three kids, two dogs and a pretty busy life. The last thing I find entertaining is reading through member PMs. Yes, we have full access (even to deleted PMs) and we've never hidden that fact.

We currently have 310,273 members. Do you really think it's going to impact our membership levels if I delete 10-20 accounts? I think not. I'm not deleting your accounts on principle. You are more than welcome to WALK AWAY and never come back to this website. Nobody is forcing you to return. You can click on UNSUBSCRIBE from the forum as well as the store emails you might receive. We have never shared our email list with others and we don't never plan on doing that.

I knew this purge was going to cause a mini uproar but I think it'll benefit BariatricPal in the long term. I'm tired of seeing members bullied in the name of tough love or whatever twisted logic some members come up with as an excuse to terrorize others.

Curious....under what principle are you changing people's user names, people who don't have the ability to change them? Why be so childish?

So? What's new on BP?

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I knew this purge was going to cause a mini uproar but I think it'll benefit BariatricPal in the long term. I'm tired of seeing members bullied in the name of tough love or whatever twisted logic some members come up with as an excuse to terrorize others.

Oh, Alex. "terrorize"? Really?

Look, I'm not as outraged as some people are, and I'm not demanding that you delete my account. You're running a business and it's been helpful for me. But, it would be great if you'd not use that kind of language. I'm a military veteran, married to an active duty soldier and believe me, there's not one iota of terrorizing going on here. Bullied, maybe. Terrorized? Don't make me laugh.

The people you just either banned or caused to leave are the reason I'm here and the reason many people are here...I get NOTHING from newbies eating pizza in their bathrooms so their spouses don't know they're 'cheating'. But when LL slapped me upside my virtual head when I asked about wine at 6 weeks post-op? THAT helped. AND, it made me think 'hey, my team was wrong about BP, there are some nuggets of wisdom to be gleaned there'...I hate that they were right, and I'm going to have to admit it at my real-life support group meeting next week.

The snowflakes have had their fun, and when they all leave because they've hit goal or stopped losing because of their crappy habits, it's going to be sad and lonely around here...you may have 310,273 accounts (which we now understand to mean 'anyone who ever signed up, ever'), but you probably have about 50 active posters and about 100 more who drop in from time to time, in the sleeve forums. That's not a robust readership, by any means. I'm sad to see this, and although I may stick around for a while, it's only because of 2 or 3 people who I think need support...there's no support left here for me. And I'm going to buy my Vitamins, Proteins and Moon cheese elsewhere...I never get free shipping anyway.

So? What's new on BP?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Oh, not much!