Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Who is choosing to keep surgery a secret?

Kila Rass

Recommended Posts

danithomas    75

danithomas
Posted

I told too many people. I was excited but several did take the "Oh No! You're not that big! People die after having WLS" approach and it went on and on. Even my PCP kept saying "You're such a pretty girl. Just work out a little and change your diet!"

Um.... been there, done with that. Wrote the cook book...and ate that too!

I had to explain to her as well as my sister and parents that this was not a choice being made because I wanted to get into a little black dress but how this is a choice I made because of all the other health risk I face and deal with each and every day.

My husband is very supportive but was hesitant at first then after speaking with my doctors he came around and my pastor and best friends are supportive as well.

I go in February 1st.... my boss is another ney sayer but she's like 90 lbs wet!

But the bottom line is that no one else knows my pain levels like me, bring out of breath all the time, and living with Fibromyalgia and PCOS at 237 lbs! It's hard!

So this surgery will prayerfully give me life! ☺

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

imightknow    39

imightknow
Posted

My husband knows, and I think that is too much. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Why is he not supportive? My husband wasn't at first but after talking to my doctors he was on board.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

No, he is super supportive. I am just EXTREMELY private. He knows that. But sometimes in the moment, he likes to over share with people, especially his family. His family has never liked me, they have never given me a chance. They have always done shitty things to me, so I cut off all communication with them. Which has helped a lot, but they still look for any reason to talk about me and make up lies. So I just worry that he could let it slip one day. Or if something was to happen between us. I told him that I wish I could go to legal and draw up some form that says he could never say anything. Haha. I just hate people knowing my business. I joked and used the example that it's like two people committing murder together or a crime, you know you aren't going to say anything but are hopeful that the other person won't. Then the next thing you know, you are in prison.Haha. (I watch a lot of crime shows.) ;) he swears that he won't say anything. I sure hope not.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Noneyo    171

Noneyo
Posted

Nope, no one but the hubby. It's a private decision and I don't need to hear everyone else's opinions. I would recommend not telling. So much more relaxing!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

SeattleSleever    23

SeattleSleever
Posted

I'm secret squirrel too. Only my husband and sister know. I'm telling friends and family that I'm having hernia repair surgery and that's why I can only eat liquids during Christmas. I'm off work till Jan. 3 so when I go back I'll tell co-workers I'm doing my annual New Years diet. I'm not even telling my kids (ages 5 & 9) because I don't want them to worry and don't want to make my weight a focus or topic of conversation. They'll just see their mom getting healthy in the New Year.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

sweetpea63 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

kheter55    33

kheter55
Posted

Hi my name is Kathy...only my husband and children know I am going for the gastric sleeve. I see my surgeon again on Dec 26...hoping I get a date then. All of my classes & tests will be done by the 9th of January. I will play it by ear who I tell and when.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

fatchocobomom    43

fatchocobomom
Posted

I've told my husband, of course. Two of my friends, it sort of slipped out. A few of my friends that I strictly talk to online. They are all supporting me, particularly my husband who is very much my advocate and has told me a million times already "whatever you need to do or change, we'll do it." I have not told my family (my sister, and my Aunt...my mother passed due to obesity and complications from diabetes.) nor have I told my husband's family. I'm scared of being judged by them. It'll come out eventually...my husband and I go to his house with the kids (here in the same town) every Friday for pizza. Still not sure how I'm going to handle that.

It doesn't help that my sister is rail thin (though it's because she doesn't eat and smokes a lot, even while pregnant. :angry: ) my father in law is really healthy and lost lots of weight after his heart attack, my brother in law and his wife are physical therapists, each lost weight on weight watchers, and my other sister in law is Korean and can eat 10 gallons of ice cream and lose 5 lbs. I feel really insecure around them then it comes to my weight, and I honestly can't tell with any of them if they will be negative or not.

I'm thinking once I have a date, I will let my father in law know (since we also might need his help to baby sit the kids, and I will tell him not to take it personally if I stop coming over as I adjust.) The rest of the family...we'll see. You'd think my sister would be supportive, considering my mother declined WLS out of fear a few years back, something I see as the beginning of the end of her life. If she had gotten it, I really think she'd be alive now.

But who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind once I'm done and free discuss it.

sweetpea63 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Trill    11

Trill
Posted

I've told my immediate family that I live with and 4 friends. I'm too ashamed to tell the world. My sister keeps saying I shouldn't be ashamed but I can't help but feel that way. I've been overweight for 27 of my 30 yrs and there were so many times since I became an adult that I could have turned my weight around but didn't. So I feel ashamed for getting to the point I need surgery. I get that not every one feels this way and I commend you for being braver than I. Maybe after surgery and some weight loss I might feel different but at the moment it's on a need to know basis.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Newme17    3,444

Newme17
Posted

I've told my immediate family that I live with and 4 friends. I'm too ashamed to tell the world. My sister keeps saying I shouldn't be ashamed but I can't help but feel that way. I've been overweight for 27 of my 30 yrs and there were so many times since I became an adult that I could have turned my weight around but didn't. So I feel ashamed for getting to the point I need surgery. I get that not every one feels this way and I commend you for being braver than I. Maybe after surgery and some weight loss I might feel different but at the moment it's on a need to know basis.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

No shame honey! Don't dwell on the past...it's a new year! It's going to be a new you! Keep your eyes and heart going forward, because that is the only way we can go! Don't let those negative emotions take hold of your happiness, because it's going to be GREAT!!! :)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

GmaDiana    81

GmaDiana
Posted

i told everyone.If they have a problem with it,it is their problem.My family and friends have been very supportive.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Clueless_girl

      Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×