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People and their big mouths

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So....here it goes..... i need to have a rant to people who understand.

I had my sleeve done 8 weeks ago... have lost 33lbs last time i checked.. haven't weighed myself in a while.. but i am sure I've lost more since..... 55lbs till i reach goal.

I was 209 when i last checked and an (Australian) size 14 which is quite loose on me... and i am 5'7" so i wouldn't say i am very big by the usual standards... i haven't told anyone other than my family about the surgery to avoid negativity.

So today we had a family get together and wore something i have not been able to fit into in a while.. i was feeling great, really proud of my progress and excited about finally being able to fit into my usual clothes.

One of my family members i have not seen since my first week post op... and this was the comment...

"What was the point of you getting surgery... you arent even skinny yet, what was the point of getting your stomach cut off if you are only going to lose so little in 8 weeks... in my eyes YOU ARE STILL FAT"

Omg.... really? The rest of my family were commenting that it's really starting to show and i am starting to look what i did before i gained weight after removing the band.

So, i basically said "i am not allowing you to belittle my hard work, i won't be subjected to your negativity and will not tolerate being put down" and left.

Why do people feel the need to say such stupid things..why can't they just keep their mouths shut!

It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

Edited by AussieGirl81

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@@BarefootDrummer

@@mc2016

Thank you for your support ????

Yes, i agree with you.... its amazing how easy it is for some to belittle you because THEY have an opinion that they know nothing about.

I had the band years ago, and was revised to the sleeve recently.... when i had my band, i told everyone... and boy was that a mistake, i regretted it because of all the negativity and comments that people thought they had the right to make.

This time around i decided that i would not say anything to avoid that.

I was sick of people commenting about my weight, watching me to see what i eat, commenting about what i put in my mouth, making me feel bad if i "cheated", not understanding the hard work it took to get goal.... especially when i was an emotional eater.

I have always been a clean eater, my issue was never junk, but i would eat to suppress my emotions.... so having people be cruel and mean didn't help with that post surgery... it made the fight against my emotional eating so much harder.

But, once i got to goal and maintained for a while.. people did calm down a bit... they got used to my new size and saw me as "normal"... so i guess that was the silver lining.

Once i started gaining after i had the band removed.... they seemed almosy HAPPY about my failure.... which totally sucked... the comments became more frequent and more blunt.

Its sad that as a society we judge people based on their looks/size... and not for their accomplishments and who they are...

its a sad reality when you have been on both ends of the scale (literally) and the difference in how society treats you, the skinnier you are, the better you get treated... which is so wrong....

Now i am just babbling on hahhaa you get my drift lol

@ - I do catch your drift! Your story helps me to stick with the decision to not tell people. You are so right about how they will be watching everything that goes into my mouth too. I hate that. And you're right - that does NOT help an emotional eater to succeed.

My husband and I were just saying the other day how it seems like people often try to get you to fail because they feel threatened and insecure. We were talking about it in regards to alcohol as some drinkers at his workplace got a recovered alcoholic to start drinking again, on purpose! Idiots! And my 18 year old son chimed in that he feels it too. He decided to give up sugar recently. He doesn't have a weight problem, but realized it doesn't make him feel good. People are on his case about it. Why?! I think because it makes them feel bad.

It is sad. Why can't we all support each other in this crazy game of life!

  • Author

Unfortunately many people feel their lifestyle is the correct lifestyle... and i know what you mean about people not liking when you change something in your lifestyle.

Eg. I don't drink at all, i still go out and have fun without getting drunk... but here drinking is a major part of social occasions so every single time.. there is at least 1 or 2 people pressuring me to have a drink... and i have to deal with the comments that come with that..... argh

Each to their own... if you want to do something... great... if you don't... great... its none of my business what someone else's lifestyle choice is... i just wish they would butt out of mine lol

You go in, have the surgery and miraculously the pounds just fly off, almost like liposuction or something, no work involved. You just get to sit back and eat chocolates and watch yourself get thin.

Wait, this isn't how it works??!

Well sh*t...I want my digestive system un-Frankensteined!

  • Author

@@CHM

I wish it worked like that lol now that is something i would have signed up for years ago!

Unbelievable how stupidly brave some people can be to spit stupid right out of their mouths. I have family that would say something like that. Thats why I PURPOSELY did not tell them...I also specifically asked my mom and dad to NOT tell anyone....just a day or so later I find out that they told pretty much everyone in the family which really upsets me. Next time I see my family, if anyone has anything negative to say about my decision or how I look, they got another thing comin!!

You did NOT deserve that. Your progress is what I;m pushing for and what helps to motivate me!!

well..you guys know we could have just had everything liposuctioned off, maybe that would have satisfied the smart mouthers! ....jk

@@CHM

I wish it worked like that lol now that is something i would have signed up for years ago!

Got to say - it still ticks me off when I think of that doc I asked for help with my weight from three years ago. He said "Have you ever thought of going on a diet?" I kid you not.

He received an appropriate and articulate response from me...that I'll be he won't soon forget. Imagine!?!

As for the ability of family to be stupid or mean, hard to fathom why we still have to call them 'family.' Sheesh.

No worries, she'll be eating her words at the next family function.

  • Author

Got to say - it still ticks me off when I think of that doc I asked for help with my weight from three years ago. He said "Have you ever thought of going on a diet?" I kid you not.

He received an appropriate and articulate response from me...that I'll be he won't soon forget. Imagine!?!

As for the ability of family to be stupid or mean, hard to fathom why we still have to call them 'family.' Sheesh.

I remember years ago i had gone to my doctor, prior to my wls..... i had genuine concerns... i said "doc, i am literally eating like a rabbit, working out an hour a day and am not losing weight, am i doing something wrong? Any suggestions?"

His answer "stop lying to me and yourself, you are probably sitting there on the couch eating 3 big macs"

I was mortified, because i actually was eating like a rabbit and working out!

That doctor deserved a big mac shoved into his mouth to shut it hahahaha

@

You seem to be doing a lot of shoving of food into various orifii (made up plural or orifice)...

Do you need a Snickers?

Omg what an absolute arse... I would have let rip... Maybe offered them the details of my dietician... Mention something like at least I am honest with my self and have sought help and am working to better my life and health...

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

So....here it goes..... i need to have a rant to people who understand.

I had my sleeve done 8 weeks ago... have lost 33lbs last time i checked.. haven't weighed myself in a while.. but i am sure I've lost more since..... 55lbs till i reach goal.

I was 209 when i last checked and an (Australian) size 14 which is quite loose on me... and i am 5'7" so i wouldn't say i am very big by the usual standards... i haven't told anyone other than my family about the surgery to avoid negativity.

So today we had a family get together and wore something i have not been able to fit into in a while.. i was feeling great, really proud of my progress and excited about finally being able to fit into my usual clothes.

One of my family members i have not seen since my first week post op... and this was the comment...

"What was the point of you getting surgery... you arent even skinny yet, what was the point of getting your stomach cut off if you are only going to lose so little in 8 weeks... in my eyes YOU ARE STILL FAT"

Omg.... really? The rest of my family were commenting that it's really starting to show and i am starting to look what i did before i gained weight after removing the band.

So, i basically said "i am not allowing you to belittle my hard work, i won't be subjected to your negativity and will not tolerate being put down" and left.

Why do people feel the need to say such stupid things..why can't they just keep their mouths shut!

It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

Let me tell you something baby girl...it sounfs like you got a hater on your hands. This person was probably jealous of you before your weight gain and now that you are working hars to get back to a size that makes YOU happy they probably feel threatened again. Dont you dare allow the ignorance of others to interfere with your progress and your success. Tell them to kiss your "still fat ass"! Jerks!

Sent from my SM-N920C using the BariatricPal App

@@KindaFamiliar

Thanks hun, its easier when i stranger does it... but when your own family members do it... it hurts so much more...

Mind you, this comment came from someone who is morbidly obese themselves,... so if anything they should understand!

See.....and this just confirmed what I said about them being jealous lol smh

Sent from my SM-N920C using the BariatricPal App

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