So....here it goes..... i need to have a rant to people who understand.

I had my sleeve done 8 weeks ago... have lost 33lbs last time i checked.. haven't weighed myself in a while.. but i am sure I've lost more since..... 55lbs till i reach goal.

I was 209 when i last checked and an (Australian) size 14 which is quite loose on me... and i am 5'7" so i wouldn't say i am very big by the usual standards... i haven't told anyone other than my family about the surgery to avoid negativity.

So today we had a family get together and wore something i have not been able to fit into in a while.. i was feeling great, really proud of my progress and excited about finally being able to fit into my usual clothes.

One of my family members i have not seen since my first week post op... and this was the comment...

"What was the point of you getting surgery... you arent even skinny yet, what was the point of getting your stomach cut off if you are only going to lose so little in 8 weeks... in my eyes YOU ARE STILL FAT"

Omg.... really? The rest of my family were commenting that it's really starting to show and i am starting to look what i did before i gained weight after removing the band.

So, i basically said "i am not allowing you to belittle my hard work, i won't be subjected to your negativity and will not tolerate being put down" and left.

Why do people feel the need to say such stupid things..why can't they just keep their mouths shut!

It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

Edited June 26, 201610 yr by AussieGirl81

You are far too smart to allow some d-bag steal your joy. You can't help who you are related to, but on the same note, you don't have to entertain the lunacy of f-ck wits, blood or not.

Dust yourself off, girly. Imma' swim over there and beat you myself if you give her one more ounce of your being.

@@KindaFamiliar

Thanks hun, its easier when i stranger does it... but when your own family members do it... it hurts so much more...

Mind you, this comment came from someone who is morbidly obese themselves,... so if anything they should understand!

When you mentioned that I was thinking jealously

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What the ever living f*ck?

Number one, did this person expect you to be skinny in 8 weeks?

And B, this person is an a**hole.

You've done an amazing job, and i'm sure you look fabulous. Don't let that dimwit take that away from you.

Wow!! Ditto everything everyone else has said. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. Lol! But seriously, people will always have something to say, especially family! Don't let them steal your joy.

People who are jealous of others success and attention will always try to put you down. Just say a pray for those because they are the ones that truly need the help. CONGRATULATIONS on YOU!!! You got this and will be even more amazing then before your weight loss journey!

Like the others, I am proud of you for not giving away your power.

Friends are expensive and family is messy.

What are they going to say when you lose the next 50 pounds?

Like the others, I am proud of you for not giving away your power.

Friends are expensive and family is messy.

What are they going to say when you lose the next 50 pounds?

Family is messy. I've had family (my children's family from their fathers side) say that they hope that I stay fat or that I'll just gain all of the weight back after surgery. They can't stand it when I become successful in anything. But they consider me "family" smh.

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...Perhaps i should have shoved the sunday family roast lamb in their mouth to shut them up! Hahaha

I was thinking the opposite end of the digestive tract would have been more appropriate for the rude people.

I agree, the mouth would be the wrong orifice. Since his brains are in his a** anyway, that is where it should go.

@, thanks for ranting and not killing the bastard. Those stupid comments hurt like hell. We all know they shouldn't, but they do. One of my 10 reasons for getting the surgery was "revenge." There have been people who rejected me because of my weight before surgery. As it turns out that has to be the least satisfying result of the surgery. Haters just don't get it, so you never get satisfaction or vindication by rubbing their noses in it. All you can realistically do, is find your own happiness and awesomeness. Occasionally "the I'll show him" thought can be a motivator, but I find it very hollow. Just continue to be awesome.

You know this is jealousy right. And this person is so jealous of you they cannot contain it. They made an idiot of themselves in front of their family and I am sure others in your family let them

Have it!!!! From your stats you started at a relatively low BMI like I did (42 for me) and there is no reason you can't loose most of your excess weight. You will be healthy and look great in no time at all. Getting your health back will be the best revenge!

@ I'm sure this is something that I will encounter in the future. Unfortunately, it always comes from family when you do get the ignorance :-(

You do you!!!!!!!

I'm in the same boat when it comes to negativity so I have also chose to tell a selective few. Unfortunately some people just don't know how to give credit where credit is do.

Keep up tge good work and shame on them :-)

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@

You are doing fantastic but clearly you already know that. Obese family or friends are usually the ones that seem to be the most jealous a$$holes of all. It is because they are still in a place where they are ok living the way they are.

Many are younger and have yet to have serious comorbitities but don't worry, their time will come.

If I were you, I would use this as motivation to get to a healthy weight and stay there. This would be a good way to stick it right up their you know what.

Do not let them take your power away in the future! They are not worth your time.

Good luck on continuing success!

From what I've witnessed and experienced, negative reactions tend to come from one of three places:

1. You're looking good, and you're garnering attention. Attention that other people are used to having, and often aren't accustomed to sharing. This tends to make them lash out in an attempt to make you look bad and shift the attention back to them, where they're more comfortable.

2. They're simply uneducated. Their knowledge of WLS is either decades old, produced from their own misconceptions, or the result of only paying attention to negative news stories or the gossip around failed patients (hey, those stories are more 'juicy'). Ironically, these also tend to be the same people who think they know everything, believe everything they read on the interwebz, and won't even entertain the notion that they might be wrong. (Your family member MAY fall into this category, but I suspect its more likely door number 3...)

3. They have their own weight problem, and you're making them feel self-conscious and/or jealous. They were perfectly content living in their own denial (as most of us were at some point, I'm sure), and here you come all sparkly and successful and shining a spot light on the topic of obesity and weight loss. It makes them feel exposed and defensive, and so they attack you and/or the surgery - usually loudly. This is partly to deter others from thinking about or asking when they are going to do something about their own weight, and partly to convince themselves that there's no point in making changes or considering a step that they're not ready for or able to afford anyway.

Painful and frustrating as they can be to deal with, none of these reasons have anything to do with you.

You are awesome, and you are doing a great job.

And you know that...

If you were hosting the get-together, you should have asked this person to leave. Otherwise, I simply would have left myself, while calling the bastard out.

Thanks everyone for your support... that family member is usually a jerk.. so i don't have high expectations from them... but secretly it has actually cut me deep...

But i guess i need to remind myself that its their ignorance that they expect me to go from obese to healthy in a couple of weeks.

What makes me so sensitive to it is that i really did try after i had my band not to regain, and this surgery was a last resort.. so to have someone mock that, hurt that little bit extra... grrrr

Perhaps i should have shoved the sunday family roast lamb in their mouth to shut them up! Hahaha

What? and waste all of that yummy Protein?

Family's comments can cut deep. I'm so sorry you had to endure such from a family member.

Why do family members think that it's OK to just say whatever comes into their minds with no filter? Common courtesy should pertain to family, yes?

I remember when my mother, sister and I went wedding gown shopping for myself. Way back in the day, plus size wedding gowns had to be ordered, so I really could not try any of the gowns on.

So, my sister tried on the gowns. When she came out of the dressing room, my mother cried because MY SISTER looked soooo beautiful. I just sat in a chair and nodded.

The saddest part about that story?? That's just the way of things growing up. My sister was always the "pretty daughter" and I was always "the smart daughter". That's the way it was. To tell the truth, it hasn't changed --to this day. I am 5# less than my sister and am still referred to as "Chubs".

Sometimes I think we have to walk our journey ALONE--FOR OURSELVES and no one else. We have nothing to prove to anyone other than ourselves.

I look forward to watching your successful and joyful journey, Friend.