Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Are guys actually checking me out at the gym?



Recommended Posts

So I've been overweight since I was a child, and lets just say I'm not used to guys looking at me - at least without thinking that it was just because I was overweight or they were disgusted. But now I feel like a lot of guys are looking at me in the gym and I have no clue if its because I'm attractive, I have sweat marks on my clothes (gross but it is the gym... lol), or whatever reason I come up with (such as my butt is too big) :P.

I get that a lot of my problem is with my self image, but how do I know if its because they find me attractive, or for a whole other reason. I'm just very inexperienced with male attention and how to react to it :mellow: Guys, what is your input on this? Ladies, have you dealt with this before? Any advice is appreciated!

And its not like I'm wearing anything revealing, at least not in my opinion.

post-257083-0-35571600-1461035391_thumb.jpg post-257083-0-65857500-1461035386_thumb.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Steph0625 You are attractive...

After being invisible as an over weight person, The attention from the opposite sex is weird...Right??? lol I still question myself if I'm dressed appropriate, If my zipper is down or do I have something in my teeth. ;) Can we agree men are the same creature from puberty on...To the guy's, let me know if you are offended or agree with that statement lol

It takes time to wrap your head around attention. I had to learn how to take a complement.

Compliment scale:

Appropriate - Is appreciated. Except it and move on..

Hilarious - Makes for good stories to tell friends..Gives you a chuckle for the day.

Creepy - Need I say more.

I still have to laugh at how clueless I am about men. But if they look at this old chick it's a good day...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Steph, come closer. I want to talk to you.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ADORABLE, YOU LITTLE CHOWDERHEAD.

Even the sweat is appealing to the males. They're admiring a woman who is serious about what she's doing.

It's not easy to internalize the reality. Until it's no longer so disconcerting -- and it will come around -- just smile and nod once in a while as people do when they're sharing an experience. Or not. Just don't allow a moment's thought that you're some sort of misfit.

"Adorable" is your word of the day. Tomorrow, too.


Steph, come closer. I want to talk to you.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ADORABLE, YOU LITTLE CHOWDERHEAD.

Even the sweat is appealing to the males. They're admiring a woman who is serious about what she's doing.

It's not easy to internalize the reality. Until it's no longer so disconcerting -- and it will come around -- just smile and nod once in a while as people do when they're sharing an experience. Or not. Just don't allow a moment's thought that you're some sort of misfit.

"Adorable" is your word of the day. Tomorrow, too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@jenn1 @@WLSResources/ClothingExch Thank you for your advice and kind words! Yes the attention is weird, and I'm always wondering if its because something is wrong lol

It's all a journey and I'll just have to work on that part I guess. I'm still super shy too so I have a hard time making eye contact with guys :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You look great, enjoy the attention. I use to have a nice butt like that but now it's flat, makes me sad. Now I have to build one back or start wearing padded panties like my sister... Hahaha!! Keep up the good work.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Blondie 6388 haha thank you! My butt (and thighs) was always the biggest part of me! My mom keeps saying I'm gonna lose it all, but I hope not. Thats why I squat now :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Steph0625

I'm also working on eye contact. It's strange that I expect a negative reaction from men. It catches me off guard when its positive.

A situation that has come up with eye contact for me. Men have taken it as an invitation to approach me.. I would like to get a guy's perspective. Am I giving off the vibe I'm interested????.. Again..I'm clueless

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes, a "big butt and thighs" are -

1. Not noticed because of your smile...

2. Not noticed because you're cute..

3. Not noticed because you're at the gym and you're really having a go and making positive changes and the like...

4. Not noticed because we're men and, as such, see the things we like rather than the things you see as 'faults'...

5. Noticed and are part of why you're attractive..

Don't try to work us out ladies..

For simple folk, we're quite complex...

Some of us are anyway...

You lot on the other hand..

Well, that's for another, much longer thread...

That I'm more than willing to be a part of...

Anyway...

@@Steph0625

Yeah, you're getting checked out...

But it's not just at the gym...

That is all...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you're adorable! of course they're checking you out!

aren't you checking them out too? :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Things I have learned by going to the gym: Men find women that are taking care of themselves attractive. They find confident women attractive and that when you have the courage to go to a co-ed gym and work out in front of them, that shows great confidence..in essence, they think that stuff is hot. They don't care about sweat, running make up or even absence of make up...they aren't thinking that your butt is too big, what you are wearing, or any of that crap. If they are looking, they are checking you out. They are probably thinking, that is awesome that you are working out and taking care of yourself.

Maybe by working out, you might be releasing pheromones ...so they are only human. Ask them to spot you and find out for sure :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you're adorable! of course they're checking you out!

aren't you checking them out too? :-)

Well hell yeah I'm checking them out! lol It's sad, but thats somewhat of a motivator to go as often as I do. I'm also loving the results that I'm getting, but a little eye candy never hurts ;)

@@Pillar2butterfly Haha I'm not confident enough yet to ask for a spotter. Maybe I'll get to that eventually! And I hope you're right about the sweat because I had an "incident" the other day. I usually work out at night so the gym isn't so hot. I wore under armor compression shorts under my maurices brand yoga pants. The UA wicks the sweat away, but when I was sitting or kneeling on the bench, my yoga pants just soaked it all up lol It was a bit embarrassing because I do workout in the free weight section and there was a lot of people there that day. I kinda just said F-it, but thats why I mentioned the staring. I'm just going to embrace it from now on lol

Thank you! @@KristenLe @@BigViffer @@jane13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×