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Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

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Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

thank u so much ❤️

Go ahead and cry and wail. Kick something--just not the dog. Cry some more. You deserve a good cry. You've earned it. I believe a good cry helps to cleanse the soul and refresh one's spirit.

After you have cried until you have no more tears, try to "refocus". Now is YOUR time. Time just for YOU. Consider this time of solitude to be a gift to yourself, from yourself, love yourself.

After surgery, when you are living your new life, maybe you and your husband can work things out, but now is not the time to stress yourself with HIS issues.--and I'm feeling he has plenty. Now is your time to concentrate on YOU!

Never said this path of WLS will be easy. I'm just saying that it is sooooooo worth it.

Your on my prayer chain now. There are prayers surrounding you from folks you don't even know. Those prayers will keep you safe hopefully from anti-healthy thoughts and worries.

Please, post often and let us know how you are doing and feeling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. --not as long as we are here.

thank you ❤️

thank you ladies, but he said he doesnt need couseling. he is just shutting all the doors on me. i told him my body will change but not my heart. but he doesnt care. in the beginning he was supportive about my decision but after eveything changed. im doing everything on my own not even once did he go with me to any of my appointments. im on my 2 week pre-op liquid diet and he eats in front of me and even jokes about the Protein shakes i have to drink. its so hurtful. and today he decided to leave me. he said he is too old and that he is not going to wait the moment i loose weight and leave him thats all he said. he is 40 and im 32 he always making a big deal about the age. saying that ill look for somebody younger. i just dont understand whats wrong with him.

What an insecure selfish prick move that was.

So.......surgery to improve your health was all it took to run him off ?????

He's got tons of issues that will take years that work through....... And if he is even man enough at some point to work through them.

Have the surgery and improve every aspect of your life that you can. You'll find a real man who is unselfish and values you and your choices.

If he's younger.......then all the better.

Get revenge through getting healthy and living each day to the fullest.

thank you ????

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Love and prayers to all of you.

thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life.

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

Wow what a jerk..... He doing this and there are kids involved? What selfish self absorbed a$$! Prayers to give you strength to get through.

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What an a$$hat! I cannot believe someone would do this! I am so terribly sorry! Sounds like he has some serious issues and insecurities and neither of those allow him to treat you that way. Are you seeing a therapist on your own in preparation of your surgery (and post-op if you can)? If so, call them. I am sure they can find a way to squeeze you in if even just a phone call.

I know you don't need solutions right now; just sympathy. I'm sorry. I tend to be fixer. I'm with @Valentina. Kick, scream, etc. (when you are out of hearing range of your children of course.) HUGS!!

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thanks guys! i feel very sad! but i have to stay strong for me, for my son and my daughter. surgery 02/23 a new chapter in my life. ????

Wow what a jerk..... He doing this and there are kids involved? What selfish self absorbed a$$! Prayers to give you strength to get through.
i dont think he would care much about my kids. he is not the father or my children but he has been in there lifes for 5 years and my kids love him. but if he doesnt care about me then he doesnt care about my children. ???? thank u for your prayers ????????

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What an a$$hat! I cannot believe someone would do this! I am so terribly sorry! Sounds like he has some serious issues and insecurities and neither of those allow him to treat you that way. Are you seeing a therapist on your own in preparation of your surgery (and post-op if you can)? If so, call them. I am sure they can find a way to squeeze you in if even just a phone call.

I know you don't need solutions right now; just sympathy. I'm sorry. I tend to be fixer. I'm with @Valentina. Kick, scream, etc. (when you are out of hearing range of your children of course.) HUGS!!

thank you! right now i feel numb. i dont know how to feel. i dont know if i should cry i dont know im just in shock i didnt expect this will happen

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So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to process this and put it away so that you can focus on your surgery. This surgery is mentally as well as physically taxing. You'll need all the strength you can get to make it through successfully.

If you can handle all you need to handle as far as getting situated in your surroundings in the next few days and preparing your support system for your surgery, I think you should. And then focus on the surgery and your new future.

Again, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I wish you the best and hopefully you heal from this soon.

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This may sound cruel but....BYE! Seriously if he's going to leave you at a time like this over the assumption that you "might leave him later" he's too weak for you. What if you get cancer, a terminal illness, lose a leg, hell a finger?! If he's feeling froggy tell him to jump!! Bygones! You're going to need a strong support system and he's obviously not it. Through sickness and in health. He broke his promise now you focus on you! If he truly loves you he'll be back and he can hope you'll even want him. You find out real quick who's there for you in your times of need and who isn't shit....its a good thing really. You may not think that now but give it time, you'll see the light!

Now........

post-237766-0-21044200-1455376324_thumb.jpeg

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Preach it sister! @@Elode - That is the best answer so far!

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I am so sorry to read this, I can't even imagine how sad you and your children must be. The fact that he made FUN of you while you are trying to better yourself however says a lot about him, his insecurities, and how he would sabotage you. It seems you might have an easier time going through the changes, both physical and emotional, that happen around surgery and the first few months without him around actually.

If you have friends and family that are supportive please reach out to them and let them know just how much their help, support, and compassion are needed right now. If they offer to come and help or just come and give you a hug, let them. Best of luck to you. Here is to you getting super hot and moving on to bigger and better things!

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So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to process this and put it away so that you can focus on your surgery. This surgery is mentally as well as physically taxing. You'll need all the strength you can get to make it through successfully.

If you can handle all you need to handle as far as getting situated in your surroundings in the next few days and preparing your support system for your surgery, I think you should. And then focus on the surgery and your new future.

Again, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I wish you the best and hopefully you heal from this soon.

thank you

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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