Hey all.

In 6 days, I will reach my 6-month post-RNY date. So far, while it certainly has been an emotional roller coaster, I haven't really had one of "those days" - you know those days. The ones when you wake up and it seems like one crappy thing after another is happening, and nothing is going right, and everything is falling apart. Well, today, I had one of those days. I won't get into it but suffice it to say I'm worried about my future, I'm frustrated with the physical and mental health monsters that still plague me, and, as a nice little rotten cherry on top of the rancid melted sundae, I got snubbed by a prospective client (I'm a freelance photographer and artist) and I'm generally feeling like the most useless, untalented, and hopeless lump of poop ever.

Well, these days happen. But my question for you all is how do you soothe your emotional aches and pains and anxiety after weight loss surgery? If I'm not willing to go eat something delicious and unhealthy, but I'm in desperate need of comfort, what can I do? What helps you? Are there bariatric-friendly foods that have been successful replacements for comfort foods for you?

Exercise makes me feel incredible, though exhausted (physically) but does very little in the way of making me feel better emotionally. Sex is great, but for various reasons not always readily available. I've realized since starting this journey that I am an extremely sense-oriented person. I'm tactile in the way a lot of little kids are. If it feels good, I'm going to touch it, or do it, or possibly rub it against my face (sorry, kitties). It's certainly a contributing factor to my binge-eating before surgery, I know.

Any help would be very, very much appreciated.

Edited February 12, 201610 yr by Cervidae

I have a good friend that I can call or text and all I have to say is "I'm a horrible person" or "it's a bad day", and they will proceed to tell me about all the wonderful things I've done. When I'm feeling very rejected and like nothing can go right, that is what I need - positive words of affirmation.

I have another friend, a platonic guy-friend (YEAH, I HAVE THEM!!!), who is good for a serious hug when I need one. He's taller than me, and envelops me and makes me feel delicate and small and protected.

Those are my soothing things.

This weekend while in Atlanta for a family wedding I discovered Chik Fil A chicken Tortilla soup. Without the tortilla strips, it seemed pretty WSL friendly. It was even double Protein as it has black and navy Beans as well as chicken. I also found a copycat recipe that I made on Wednesday in my crock pot so I could even tailor it more. I am lactose questionable right now and it had some half and half in it and some fat free sour cream, but other than corn, everything is on my soft food stage diet! If I have it figured correctly, 1 cup is less than 200 calories. I can't eat a full cup of the soup even though I can generally eat close to a cup of food.

I eat it because it tastes good, but if you are looking for something warm, creamy, delicious and on plan, it more than serves the purpose.

pam

I have read all of these posts and can empathize with most of them.

I, too am an advocate for having a "good cry".---sometimes a very loud, wailing cry. I feel it cleanses my spirit and actually leaves me feeling better.

I also used to have a male best friend who used to enclose me within his arms whenever I needed to feel "protected and safe". I miss him.

I'm liking the idea of the weighted blanket. I believe that is the "safe and protected" theory coming through. --especially if it can be warmed.

"Comfort food"? I am trying to NOT turn to food when I'm desperate for some comfort. Right now, I am refusing to allow myself to be comforted by food. That's just me and my journey.

I still say, "GET A DOG". He/she have the ability to get you soooo much comfort, love, laughter, loyalty, affection. A dog will meet you at the dog every time you come home with such enthusiasm that no matter how crappy your day was, you will smile--even through tears. They will lay in bed with you for hours, even days when you're ill. They will comfort you with nudges, wet nose kisses, waging tails and play. I can not overstate the therapeutic benefits of having a dog in your life. Even if you are unable to get out and walk a dog, get a tiny dog who can use puppy pads until you are strong enough to walk it. Sometimes just having something in our lives that need us. Something who relies solely on you. Something to take our minds off of our troubles--even for just an hour. Something that no matter what we've done, will love us unconditionally--without explanation or consequences.

I know. I can talk "dogs" for days. I've trained and owned therapy dogs for years and years, and have seen the benefits for both the person and the dog. Endless---and bountiful. That are the win/win benefits of owning a dog.

Comfort??? Now you're talking!!!

@@VSGAnn2014 - ((((hug))))

praying for your hubby and you!

@@VSGAnn2014 I am so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. I am probably the most negative person around in regards to cancer diagnosis, but even I have a new optimism as several people in my circle of colleagues and acquaintances are survivors of types that I never thought was survivable. Prayers and good energy for you and him.

The answer to this should be "don't use food for comfort"

I think people have made excellent suggestions and someone mentioned having a male friend who would give big protective hugs. It hit me that is one reason I so much miss a certain man who is no longer in my life. He never needed a reason or story but just made me feel really good, and protected. The power of a big warm hug is underrated!

I also have used techniques like a walk, getting on the phone and calling everyone I care about. One time, about two years ago I was having a wretched day. It was a sunny sunday and I must have called 6-8 people before connecting with a friend. I just told her I couldn't be alone that day, she dropped all her plans, we spent the day together and she never needed an explanation. By the time I was back in cell range, I had half a dozen vmails from the people I called. It was a cathartic day, because I reached out and my little world answered.

My dog, exercise and mind occupying Netflix are also helpful.

As far as food, this is a reason I can't keep Cookies etc in the house. Yesterday my leg hurt so bad, I would have eaten any kind of junk food. I am 4 years out and still know that it is inside me to seek comfort from food. I know this sounds nuts, but I have been "reframing" Protein drinks as comfort food. When I have a drive for middle of the night eating, I have Protein Drink. When I am dying for sweets, I have protein drink. ( I can't use bars that way as I can eat them too quickly.) I reframe in my mind that when I need comfort I seek self care, something heathy. If I seek something more savory, I will have something like a black and blue salad.

one of the hardest things has been getting used to feeling bad sometimes. Or taking rational actions, like yesterday I got a same day appointment with my primary doc, and basically told him I could not manage the pain with just tylonol anymore. He was very supportive, prescribed an appropriate medication to get me through this, and gave me much emotional comfort. A hug would have been nice, but I guess doctors get sued when they do that sort of thing.

Anyway, bottom line, is think about self care, how would you comfort your best friend or sister? I think we owe ourselves at least that much support.

If I am just generally frustrated or pissed, dancing (I belly dance) really helps me. I put on music and make myself practice.

If I am feeling unappreciated, fat, ugly, or just down what works for me is getting a massage or getting my nails done, or just a blow dry (crazy curly hair over here). I do my makeup and wear something pretty. I know it sounds borderline silly but it does make me feel a lot better to take some time to take care of myself and do something nice. Since you mentioned you are tactile oriented I think the massage or the nail treatment would work for you as well.

@vsganne2014

I am so sorry to hear of your latest life stumbling block . I am hoping you have the strength and the doctors have the tools to conquer this demon .

We are here to listen anytime. Please try to not feel alone . Hope you have a lot of information and a good support system????❤️????

Thanks, guys. Appreciate your support.

I am tough. So is my hubby. And we do have great doctors. And multiple good support systems.

I really didn't mean to draw attention to myself, but to offer a counterpoint to the OP re how tough life really can get and how comforting ourselves may not be the right choice to make.

But that's the OP's decision to make. And, as always, her mileage may vary.

Thank you for all of your suggestions, everyone. I feel a lot better today.

I suppose I should have specified that I meant healthy comfort foods. Usually my Protein Soup with some chili powder to give it a kick does the trick, but I can't order another shipment until next week. My goal is to find foods that are healthy that also satisfy certain cravings, primarily savory cravings.

There are some really great suggestions here. My favorite one and one I unfortunately can't do for another couple years is to get a dog, but luckily my friend has the sweetest beagle ever and I'm allowed to go over and play with her whenever I want.

Thanks for the support. I think I was just in a bad funk after having a lot of bad things happen all at once. The wildest thing I was never in any danger of eating too.much or eating something bad. I just didn't have any desire or hunger for it.

Guess it's just going to take time to learn how to cope and how to navigate my new body and stomach.

Thanks again.

Thanks, guys. Appreciate your support.

I am tough. So is my hubby. And we do have great doctors. And multiple good support systems.

I really didn't mean to draw attention to myself, but to offer a counterpoint to the OP re how tough life really can get and how comforting ourselves may not be the right choice to make.

But that's the OP's decision to make. And, as always, her mileage may vary.

That is the beauty of posting from the heart. We get to know others' trials, tribulations, joy and sorrow. I always like being reminded that no matter your journey, someone else is fighting a harder battle. Be kind. Be caring. God Bless Ann.

Thank you for all of your suggestions, everyone. I feel a lot better today.

I suppose I should have specified that I meant healthy comfort foods. Usually my Protein soup with some chili powder to give it a kick does the trick, but I can't order another shipment until next week. My goal is to find foods that are healthy that also satisfy certain cravings, primarily savory cravings.

There are some really great suggestions here. My favorite one and one I unfortunately can't do for another couple years is to get a dog, but luckily my friend has the sweetest beagle ever and I'm allowed to go over and play with her whenever I want.

Thanks for the support. I think I was just in a bad funk after having a lot of bad things happen all at once. The wildest thing I was never in any danger of eating too.much or eating something bad. I just didn't have any desire or hunger for it.

Guess it's just going to take time to learn how to cope and how to navigate my new body and stomach.

Thanks again.

I find chili, refried Beans, black beans, soup, etc. comforting. I don't make it myself, but my mom's pot roast with roasted vegetables is good, too.

If you think in terms of high-protein, low starch you should be ok.

@VsgAnn2014. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

food just doesn't hold the same comfort for me that it once did. I used food for all things before...happy, sad, up, down, and inbetween. I don't really have a to-go food, because I don't go to food any more. I eat food that tastes good, but it is merely fuel so I can do things I want to do. I stay extremely busy though. I work full time, I am in grad school, I have an 11 month old baby, family commitments, church, etc.

Do you have a friend or family member to talk to? To go shopping with? Get a pedicure?

When I am stressed/sad/anxious, I clean. I organize drawers, I weed out closets, I purge. I resist starting, but if I'm angry, I tend to throw out a lot more stuff than when I am in a good mood. I love when I am done, I can see results and a decluttered area is very soothing.

I try not to eat for comfort. It's a bad habit that I am afraid would spiral out of control FOR ME.