What to say at work?

[denisa 5]

Hi

I was sleeved dec 6th and I am going back to work next week.

I told some coworkers about my surgery, since I thought people will see me lose weight or eat and ask questions.

I heard that people were asking about me and if it is true I had a surgery for weight loss and I started panicking.

What did u do?

Did u tell?

I am afraid of being judged for taking an easy way out as they perceive it.

No easy way out at all...btw.

I am afraid of questions like "did u try everything before?" "Why couldn't you do it on your own?"

Overweight people are judged and seen as lazy and lacking willpower.

So, what did u say?

It is too late not to tell since some already know.

I've seen people doing this surgery around me for 4 years

I have had issues with my liver for the past 2 years with digestive problems and elevated liver enzymes.

My father and brother have type 2 diabetes.

I've been told by my doctors I need to lose 60 lbs so my liver will function better.

It took me another 2 years and 3 times rescheduling until I finally had my surgery done 10 days ago.

Thanks.

D

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Let the little dogs bark. They can't make you un-do your surgery.

[jane13 2,256]

@@denisa - you don't have to tell them squat...esp if they are being a-holes. I didn't tell anyone but my young work mate and immediate boss. as the weight started coming off they started asking if I was "OK"...when I got to about 40-50lbs down it was a daily thing to be asked if I was "ok". I spilled...so much easier for me. Not everyone has the same feelings about it.

your business - tell them ONLY what you want to share. Or don't.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I told anyone who asked, but I didn't volunteer it. I really don't give a fig what people think about me or my healthcare decisions. I only received one negative reaction but it wasn't anything like "you took the easy way out" -- it was more, "it's so unfair that you get to do that, I need to lose thirty pounds and surgery isn't an option for me." Anyway, I had some responses prepared in case I did get a negative reaction:
"thanks for your concern" with a big smile

"my doctor and I agreed that this was the best medical decision for me"

"I wish I could have lost weight without surgery, but I'm too dumb and lazy to figure it out" (if I was feeling very snarky)

"hmm, try dieting and exercise before submitting to major surgery? Wow, I never thought of that. No one ever suggested that to me in my entire life. I wish I had heard of "dieting" before I had surgery! Maybe you should mention this strange concept to other people. Why didn't you tell me about the secret process of "diet" and "exercise" earlier?"

"thanks for your support! I appreciate it!" with a big eye-roll

Seriously, if you just pretend they said something nice and respond that way, they can't criticize you. Just keep smiling and saying "thanks for your support! Your kindness means so much to me!" in as sincere a tone as you can manage. Eventually they will give up and leave you alone. Don't try to engage them with arguments or get super-defensive. Act like any criticism they give you just makes you laugh because you know more than they do (YOU DO).

All that said, it's unlikely people will say negative things, at least in my experience.

[kamolloy11 6]

^{It is entirely up to you. It is easier just to tell people if they ask. No point in hiding it. Be proud of what you did to better your life. I have found no one to say a rude comment to me. You know why you made the decision to have the surgery, that is the only thing that matters. If anyone says it is the easy way, simply tell them of all the pain, no eating and mental changes we all have to endure. Congratulations and I hope you have nothing negative to deal with at work!}

[Steph Anie 72]

I told people who were close to me...most of my co-workers know I have worked my a** off the 4 months leading up to surgery to lose weight (I lost the majority before surgery)....people who don't know me that well mostly think it is all starting to pay off big time...lots of time I just tell people high Protein and lots of gym time. Others who know are really just curious....they were excited when I could move from liquids to mushy type foods and have been my cheerleaders. I had one friend who said don't do it, but she wasn't snarky...just worried about me. She has been a huge supporter since then. In the hospital last week she called me daily to make sure that I didn't need her to bring me a protien drink or some form of protien.....I had to miss the last week of work b/c hubby was in a major accident and have 2 weeks off for the holidays now....so I'm sure I"ll be getting some looks, b/c the weight is coming off pretty quickly right now between stress and the surgery. My boss was so happy for me...she was the one I was most worried about telling that I would be missing work for wls.

[Lexigurl82 160]

I told a few co-workers and my supervisor. I haven't gone back to work yet but if anyone asks, I will be open about it. However I won't volunteer it.

[taylokat 180]

I have not told anyone I work with. It's none of their business. They obviously see me eating healthier and smaller portions. It's been almost 3 years. I'm sure they are gossiping about someone else by now!

[loveszane 18]

I had surgery on the 10th I am going back to work on the 28th. My boss and two of my co-workers know that I am close without of work as well. I have decided not to tell anyone pre-op because I didn't want to hear the don't do it, try another way first or anything else. AT this point post op when I go back if anyone asks even in my general life because I have told very few friends/family but if anyone asks I will tell them but I will not go around volunteering the information. It is funny before the surgery I did not know how I felt about telling people. Now that it is done I am like I could care less I did this to better me. I will probably be like @@Bufflehead with those witty responses they are great !!! lol

[jeepgrl 39]

I was sleeved on 12/14 and before I went out I ended up telling more people what I was up to than I originally intended. I really focused on the positive benefits for my health and my inability to stick to a diet/lifestyle change on my own. Most people were supportive and positive, but I'm sure there will be some negative nellies. Explaining the science behind it and how it is a tool actually made me feel more positive about what I was doing and I feel like I'm educating people about something most know very little about. Good luck with whatever approach you take!

[Dajones 46]

No one's business. I told a few people at work that I'm closest to. When others asked, I told them I'm on a 600-800 calorie per day diet and it's 99% Protein.

[Champ715 207]

I told people at work I was having surgery to remove an abdominal mass. I've lost 36 lbs in 2 1/2 months but it's not so drastic that anyone has noticed or said anything. Unless you're starting at a really high weight, I doubt you'll drop weight so fast that people notice quickly. I'm 5'0 and started at 205 lbs so my starting statistics are similar to yours.

[soccermama 7]

I stressed hard about who to tell and who NOT to tell, but now that I have had surgery (6 days postop), it feels natural to tell people around me. Once I return to work, or start running into ppl I haven't seen in a while, I figure I will tell them the truth if it feels right to me. If it doesn't I will just explain that "I am a work in progress" and working hard to make healthier choices in my life!!!