So I have found myself in somewhat of a dilemma that I could have never imagined six months ago. I had my six-month follow-up appointment with my surgeon after having the sleeve done in April. Needless to say I have worked really hard and have lost 88 pounds from my highest weight during the last 7 months. I have met my surgeons goal but I have not met my own personal goal as of yet, but I am still working diligently on that. Overall I am a pretty private person, and aside from my bariatric pal friends, only my mom and husband know about my surgery. I have gotten lots of questions at work and from friends, but have managed to keep my decision to have surgery private. This is where my dilemma comes in.....

When I started at my highest weight, I felt ashamed about having surgery to lose weight. Even though I know now this is a totally incorrect way of thinking, I struggle somewhat with admitting now that I have had surgery since I have kept it private all this time. I don't want people to feel lied to, even though this was a very personal decision for me.

So upon going to my follow-up visit with my surgeon, he proceeds to tell me how amazed he is with how great I look, and how successful I have been. He then says he wants to have before and after pictures of me to feature on their Facebook page, and to include in their seminar for future bariatric patients as one of their success stories. So my dilemma is I have kept my decision to have surgery private to this point and don't want to come across as a liar, but now that I have put in the hard work and feel successful I am proud of my accomplishments. On one hand I want to oblige the office and be included in their success stories because of all of the hard work and effort I have put in, and I do feel proud of myself. On the other hand I know how quickly social media travels, and I don't want to look like I have just been lying to everyone all this time. I considered submitting pictures and just blocking out my face, but then I don't really feel like I am owning my accomplishments.

I know this post is probably extremely confusing and I find myself going back-and-forth a lot. I would love others feedback or input if you have been in the situation, or of what you would do if you were in my situation. Also thank you to all of you BP veterans who take time to post and give responses to questions for those of us who are still going through the beginnings of our journeys. Your knowledge and wisdom has been invaluable for me through my journey.

i certainly will, it was meant to be tongue in cheek And yes, I'm not in any hurry to make a decision about it, I want to be sure that whatever I choose is right for me; once they are posted to web, they are there forever!

Hi my name's Eve. I live in Australia and seems most of this is American - though I did grow up in Calif. I can't advise you yes or no except to get you to ask yourself this question....what can I gain from saying yes, and what can I lose from saying yes?

Fold a piece of paper down and the middle and do the pros and cons and you're likely to get the answer from you're heart not your head. Good luck I've had a gastric band and waiting to have an Omega Loop on Jan 19 - YEA only 7 weeks to go.

I think Alex was right, I guess I just associate "blurring out the face" with victims and children, I need to be more accepting of it, and I yes I pay it forward the way I know how, but in my context I failed to mention that "If" it was decided to go forward it wouldn't be a bad thing, especially since we need to get rid of the stigma attached to these surgeries, especially " you took the easy way" which we know firsthand as completely opposite, I respect all peeps on this forum and I support any decisions that we come to, as long as we did it as informed and consenting individuals, ultimately it is our lives and our bodies and no one lives in them but ourselves........BTW I'm also happy that the trollers have been kept at a minimum!!! Lol

I would not do it. The fact that it is even a question you are asking says that you are not ready. You are entitled to your privacy. The topic of "lied" to protect your PERSONAL HEALTH INFORMATION has been beaten to death on the forums, so I won't dig into that one any deeper.

I was very much like you. I told very few people. I didn't want to be fodder for anyone's conversation. I didn't want people to watch what I ate. I didn't want them to wait for me to regain or fail, which I thought was a real possibility.

I am three years out now, and my mindset has shifted over time. I don't talk about it or announce it, and when people ask how I lost weight (rare these days) I usually say diet and exercise. But if people know I had WLS, I don't care so much. I don't worry about what they will think, all the way from why I withheld that information, to how much I lost, to the plastic surgery I had, to the daily struggles I have now. Not sure why I had a mind shift, but I even volunteered to do the seminar for my surgeon this month. I figure if I can help a few people, I'm glad about it. But I wouldn't have been ready for that two years ago. For me, this level of acceptance is part of my story.

Privacy and lies of omission are separate things. Lies of omission are for rule breaking or keeping things to yourself that hurt other people. Having WLS and not telling anyone doesn't really effect anyone else. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Being private is well within your rights as a human.

All I can say is don't assume no one will see it!

My doctors office had a professional "after" (see below) photo session done of me for their ads and social media. On place a story and pic appeared was the hospital/medical groups internal foundation magazine.

I am not secretive about my surgery, but there are some members of the older generation I just never told.

Well the magazine arrived at my in laws door because she is a hospital volunteer, LOL! Awkward!

I could have written your post. You are not alone. I have been struggling with a lot of the issues you wrote about. I look forward to reading the replies!

I think sometimes we get so passionate in our beliefs and our rights that we blur the line between being ethical, and common courtesy, Things like HIPPA are in place to protect our rights to privacy in any and all medical procedures with very limited exceptions like life or death situations, which then in brings into the light things like "Living Wills" "DNR" etc. although most of us are adults on this forum( since minors don't have that freedom), we should n vet be foolish to believe that in time it does not become noticeable to others that there have been very extreme changes in a short span of time, so maybe in the interim we may choose not to talk or make omissions regarding this, but at some point there may have to be preparations that ultimately we must come forward, I try to be objective but I also don't find anything negative about disclosing our procedure, especially since education of those in the dark is what creates a more accepting scenario....... But we are all different and so is my view, still respect each other's choices

I could have written your post. You are not alone. I have been struggling with a lot of the issues you wrote about. I look forward to reading the replies!

I would feel very uncomfortable with this. I've been very private about my surgery and think we are entitled to that without feeling we've deceived any one. I would say: No, Thank you. No, and no and no. I'm not a side show!

I would feel very uncomfortable with this. I've been very private about my surgery and think we are entitled to that without feeling we've deceived any one. I would say: No, Thank you. No, and no and no. I'm not a side show!

I totally get being private and think you are completely entitled to say no!

But a side show? That sounds kind of judgmental to those of us who do chose to share. I don't consider myself a side show, I am proud of my accomplishment and hope to inspire others. One particular friend inspired me to start this journey and I feel like it's my way of paying that forward.

@ Jess9395:

Hence my belief that educating others can lead us away from all the stigma attached to this, I pay it forward everyday and have a friend doing this in late December and another early next year, I feel as if I can just provide this to few people it can make the difference for not only them but those around them, I think it comes from working in psych so long, I have seen so much needless loss of life in my years and everyone focuses on the victims but hardly stop to think of the long lasting impact on family and friends, in fact this may be my last year, I've gotten to the point of feeling too much when I hear one our patients passed, so selfishly this is a good thing for me, the surgery gave me a new lease on life and a different outlook so I gotta keep doing this, we must also remain open minded about people who feel differently, the encounters and experiences of our past are what makes who we are today, to be ridiculed and looked down on can only do two things, either make you very guarded private person, or crazy enough to wanna show off every step of the way......... I chose to show 'em every chance I get

I would just say - that's very flattering, but no thank you. The end.

I understand completely! I just saw my primary Dr last week for a checkup. Haven't seen a Dr in probably 3 years. She was amazed by the transformation, and would love for me to be a spokesperson for anyone wishing to have surgery. As much as I would love to do that, I live in a very small town. Numerous people have asked what I've done and I've told them, small portions, lots of protein and exercise. No carbs or junk food or processed foods. So now, how do you explain after 11 months that gee, I had surgery? I'm not interested. I don't want to be the center of gossip any more than I'm sure I already am. Leave it be.