So I have found myself in somewhat of a dilemma that I could have never imagined six months ago. I had my six-month follow-up appointment with my surgeon after having the sleeve done in April. Needless to say I have worked really hard and have lost 88 pounds from my highest weight during the last 7 months. I have met my surgeons goal but I have not met my own personal goal as of yet, but I am still working diligently on that. Overall I am a pretty private person, and aside from my bariatric pal friends, only my mom and husband know about my surgery. I have gotten lots of questions at work and from friends, but have managed to keep my decision to have surgery private. This is where my dilemma comes in.....

When I started at my highest weight, I felt ashamed about having surgery to lose weight. Even though I know now this is a totally incorrect way of thinking, I struggle somewhat with admitting now that I have had surgery since I have kept it private all this time. I don't want people to feel lied to, even though this was a very personal decision for me.

So upon going to my follow-up visit with my surgeon, he proceeds to tell me how amazed he is with how great I look, and how successful I have been. He then says he wants to have before and after pictures of me to feature on their Facebook page, and to include in their seminar for future bariatric patients as one of their success stories. So my dilemma is I have kept my decision to have surgery private to this point and don't want to come across as a liar, but now that I have put in the hard work and feel successful I am proud of my accomplishments. On one hand I want to oblige the office and be included in their success stories because of all of the hard work and effort I have put in, and I do feel proud of myself. On the other hand I know how quickly social media travels, and I don't want to look like I have just been lying to everyone all this time. I considered submitting pictures and just blocking out my face, but then I don't really feel like I am owning my accomplishments.

I know this post is probably extremely confusing and I find myself going back-and-forth a lot. I would love others feedback or input if you have been in the situation, or of what you would do if you were in my situation. Also thank you to all of you BP veterans who take time to post and give responses to questions for those of us who are still going through the beginnings of our journeys. Your knowledge and wisdom has been invaluable for me through my journey.

@@Joz31 -- I don't do facebook either, but here it is from Uncle Google.

http://www.facebook.com/KCBariatric

@@wannaBthinsoon -- Too many names and too much junk. Please point yourself out. This is exciting!

I found the practice's website first. A video features a few patients who've done/are doing well -- happy stuff. One of the women, though, said something that she may have invented for effect. She claims that at 240 lbs, she couldn't stay afloat in Water. It works the other way. A large person will rise to the surface, while skinny, thin and slim people are respectively lower in the water. Fat makes for buoyancy. Way back when I was perhaps 'only' 225-ish, I cringed when, in a pool, I felt that most of my body was on the surface with very little partly submerged. My fear was that someone would notice.

http://kcbariatric.com/

You've never lied.

You just haven't divulged a bigger part of the weight loss equation. It was nobody's business.

If someone asked you point blank "did you have weight loss surgery?" And you said no - well then that's a lie.

I'd say GO FOR IT!

You've earned this!

Be proud of that incredible weight loss and also see it as what a big compliment it really is.... your doctor is so happy with you that he wants to show you off!

In my opinion - that's big!

He picked you to represent what a successful weight loss patient looks like only 6-7 months later. You've worked so hard and your doc recognizes this!

I'd do it in a heart beat! HAHA

I wouldn't blur your face... you said so yourself that you're proud of yourself and if you blur out your face then it kinda doesn't really give you that full recognition of your perseverance and dedication.

IMO

Good luck to whatever choice you make. Keep up your inspiring work!

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Scroll to August 20th, 2015. Its a front and side view (4 pics) My name is in the post.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch

Thank you so much for providing those links, I had no idea you could view that without being a member on the site. After seeing that I feel much more comfortable given that there are hundreds of other photos on there. Thank you all for your help and feedback!

@@wannaBthinsoon

Congratulations on your weight-loss, your pictures look fantastic!

@@wannaBthinsoon -- You're gorgeous, well worth the scroll.

@@Joz31 -- Good, glad you changed your mind. You belong up in lights, too.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Thanks! I guess you found me!

We have the same surgeon! No names were mentioned during the seminar I attended. Can't remember if names are mentioned on their Facebook page.

It's up to you. I wonder if this is one of those cases where feelings change with time. I've had to be on depression meds for years. At first, it bothered me and I never mentioned it. Now I don't care. I've come to think that if my acknowledgement in whatever way helps someone else to seek help, that's all for the better. But I wasn't always like that. Maybe telling others about your WLS is like that. I think Dr. Hoehn would understand if you decline. Would you feel differently when you reach your personal goal?

Either way, what a great ego boo to have your surgeon be so thrilled with your success that he wants to use you as a testimonial!

ETA: NVM! I should have read the entire post.

Edited November 21, 201510 yr by songsmith

I do it, but I'm a guy. Don't ever do anything like that unless you are 100% comfortable doing it. I mentioned my weight loss on FB, but not how. Only explained how to people I know are really struggling.

If you want to remain on the down low about weight loss surgery, do NOT have your picture put on the Facebook page.

You don't owe anyone anything after your weight loss surgery.

And don't let your surgeon or anyone on her/his staff make you feel like they're doing YOU a favor by having you advertise for them.

I see so many people get talked into things like this that they wind up regretting.

Do what YOU want to do. Don't cave to any pressure at all, including the "be nice to everyone" instinct you may have going on.

Here is the thing; if you graciously decline there will be 100 successful "losers" behind you who will say YES. He wants you to post your picture to promote "his" business. You have had great success; don't let that be connected at all to owing your Doc anything by posting. I too am a very private person and would never put my picture on facebook; the entire WORLD has access to your pictures, this freaks me out!!

Congratulations you deserve it!!

I would go on FB first and come out about my surgery( Hollywood Style) then I would it, if only for one reason,

If you can even inspire or help one person because of your actions it may be that one life you helped save, and with the state of this world at this very minute it's not a bad thing and it's really needed.

I promised myself several things after surgery, to continue my healthy lifestyle even after goal weight, to pay it forward( I've helped 3 people already, (2 of which went my same surgeon) and to always remain humble, this is my latest pic that I took Wednesday after I went to buy some pants for an upcoming vacation, my last size was a 52w, down from a 60w, and I ended up with a 48w pant, 12 sizes down since June 10th, 388lbs in January, 342.2lbs I'm June, and 269 six days ago, how did I remain humble? I didn't try to hide anything or hold in my stomach when I took this pic, I'm very proud of myself and that I turned my life around and the wrinkles and excess skin don't embarrass me at all....... Just do it, help others

Joz31,

Congrats on your success so far! And wow, that’s definitely a huge NSV!

I understand your hesitation, especially since you’ve been so private before. You are not obligated to be a publicity promotion for your surgeon, no matter how grateful you are. I’m just pointing that out to make sure that whatever decision you make, you make for yourself and not for someone else’s benefit.

If, as you said, you’re afraid you won’t look at good as you think you do, that’s a legitimate fear. Chances are, though, that you’ll look even better than you think you do! But if you’re afraid, maybe you could tell your surgeon you’ll be happy to participate in a few months, when you’re at goal weight and have been there for a little while.

I think the idea of blurring your face is a great one. Maybe when you gain a little more confidence in a while you can even un-blur your face!

Again, thank you all so much for your feedback, it has truly helped me to see things from various perspectives, which was what I was looking for. I am definitely happy with how I look now, I just worried I guess that coworkers or friends may come across the info and feel like I led them on. I have already faced a ton of questions from all due to the rapid loss I had, and I have been asked on multiple occasions if I had weight loss surgery, to which I replied no. That's part of my worry of others seeing it, because I have not told the truth when directly asked. I don't even know why I care so much about what other people think, I guess I just don't want to be scrutinized by others. I am a nurse and we often eat junk food, etc. due to long shifts with few breaks. I don't want to feel judged by others anytime I put a piece of food in my mouth. Anyway, it helped alot to realize there are hundreds of photos already on his site, so it's really not a big deal. I was worried I would be among a select few pictures, but that is clearly not the case. I'm still going to ponder it to decide what is best for me, but you all have certainly opened my eyes to a different perspective, and I am truly greatful for all your responses.

-Joz

p.s. @@Alex Brecher responded to one of my questions so I can officially die a happy weight loss patient

@@Joz31 -- Take your time deciding. There's no emergency. As to your last note back there? I'd rather see you live a happy weight loss patient.

@@laguerr13 -- You've chosen the way you wish to contribute to others. Each of us chooses our own. "Paying it forward" takes many forms.

Edited November 22, 201510 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch