Am I crazy to think that was a good answer? (dating drama alert)

[RetroGirl 210]

Warning: this is more or less a variation on the never ending ‘should I tell a guy I’m dating’ & ‘how quys react to WLS’ theme, so if you are tired of that jibber jabber, move on to something else.

I’m just 1 month out. I’ve recently met a guy and although I’m not exactly into dating at the moment, we immediately hit it off. So we went on a couple of foodless, Decaf, non-alcoholic dates, and surprisingly had a lot of fun. Apart from me constantly having to come up with reasons for my unconventional dating behavior while still giving the impression of a sane person, of course.

I hate lying on dates (not that I have moral issues, it just makes me more nervous), so coming up with answers that were truthful but wouldn’t expose the fact I had WLS has been EXHAUSTING. This is just a sample dialog: ‘Does 6 pm work for you?’ ‘Can we make it 7?’ ‘That’s fine. What do you do at 6?’ ‘I’m having dinner’ ‘Couldn’t we have dinner together?’ ‘I don’t think that’s the best idea’ ‘Why, do you have celery for dinner? ’ etc.

So yesterday he invited me over and it was all going very smoothly, except he kept offering me something to drink, and I just got tired of excuses, so… I told him I recently had the surgery to help me lose weight and I was in recovery, following a special diet.

After a minute or two of what seemed to me like an awkward silence, ‘Ok. So are you allowed to have sex yet?’

Am I crazy to think out of all the answers he could have given, that one was actually pretty good?

[AvaFern 3,516]

Lol, I think that was a good answer and it probably broke the ice. I hope things continue to go well for you two.

I don't tell anyone I ate. It is none of their business and short of being in a serious relationship where at some point I may be married to them, I have no intention of ever telling anyone.

[RetroGirl 210]

don't tell anyone I ate. It is none of their business and short of being in a serious relationship where at some point I may be married to them, I have no intention of ever telling anyone.

I thought the same thing and I agree it's a very personal matter.

Also, I suppose people can be quite judgemental about WLS. I actually think bringing things like that up in the early stages can be a bit of a self-sabotage... When you barely no the other person some things seem like deal breakers, but once you form an emotional connection they don't really matter.

In this particular case I felt all the effort that went into keeping it secret was in the way of me having a good time.

[Daveo 485]

@RetroGirl Hahaha that was funny! I agree that letting others know you had WLS is a personal decision but sometimes you just gotta do it if you can't take the constant offerings. A coworker who didn't know I had it kept commenting on how little I eat and I finally just said that I had WLS so I can't eat like I look anymore. lol

[BairwithMe 144]

I am scheduled for Oct 19 to have gastric sleeve. I am nervous about telling people..because even now when I am cutting back everyone wants to shove food at me..our world revolves around it!! this was a cute post!! thanks for sharing.

R~

[newmebithebypass 713]

This is why I'm really glad I'm married I don't have to explain my self to strangers lol

[Thinside 155]

I may be delusional, but I've eaten out a few times and no one seems to notice. I eat slowly, say I'm doing low carb (true!) so I skip the bread and potatoes, order fish, and take some home. For example, tonight we went out for Greek food. I had most of piece of saganaki, a tbsp. of hummus (no pita) and ordered a shrimp appetizer dish. Ate two shrimp, brought the rest home. Everyone was so busy eating and talking no one noticed what I ate.

[RetroGirl 210]

I may be delusional, but I've eaten out a few times and no one seems to notice. I eat slowly, say I'm doing low carb (true!) so I skip the bread and potatoes, order fish, and take some home. For example, tonight we went out for Greek food. I had most of piece of saganaki, a tbsp. of hummus (no pita) and ordered a shrimp appetizer dish. Ate two shrimp, brought the rest home. Everyone was so busy eating and talking no one noticed what I ate.

I think it really depends on the person... Some people are more nosy than others. In my case eating out wasn't an option because I was very early on and my diet plan didn't give me many options, not to say almost any.

You are right though, in the restaurant everyone is pretty much busy with their own meal. But once they invite you to their place, they usually pay more attention and it's harder to hide.

[jhclikesshopping@gmail.com 285]

I like this guy!!!

[bellabloom 2,467]

He's awesome.

It gets easier as you get further out. I still have some issues and have to come up with excuses- I say I eat like a bird and they just believe me because I'm so tiny now.

I'm always embarrassed at how much I leave on my plate so I ask for half orders or order just a small salad.

As far as telling people goes- I couldn't imagine faking in love with someone and them not knowing such a big part of my history. Plus the lose skin is hard to hide! I figure if I'm serious about someone they need to know and I don't want to be with anyone who wouldn't accept it. Obviously if they can't accept it they don't like me enough.