Hello everyone!

This is my first post on here since I just discovered this group a few days ago. I'm writing here because I'm not really sure where or whom to turn to at this point. I'm scheduled for surgery on 9/10/15. I've been waiting for this day forever. I went through the process of diet and doctors appointments twice before and ended up having to switch insurance. This time, however, it all finally worked out. Everything was going great and I was really positive about things until I had an appointment with the psychologist (per insurance rules) and that changed things for me. At one point in our conversation, she turned to me and stated, "You do know you can die right? I know someone who died a week after having it, just want you to be aware of that."

Woah, right?!

I know that there is always a risk of something happening and I accepted that, but to have to slapped in my face like that was really traumatizing for me. Ever since that visit, anytime I think of surgery, I get get this overwhelming fear of being put under and never waking up. I know these doctors have done this a thousand times and I have had surgery before, but this time my brain is going a thousand places.

So, I guess I'm asking for any advice or tips. Any one who can or has related to the situation?

Thank you all so much.

Wow! That's a pretty terrible thing to have thrown at you so close to surgery! The truth is, attitude is a big predictor of outcome with most things in life. I teach my students about the self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe in a given outcome (like an awesome surgery and WL result), then you will subconsciously engage in behaviors that make your beliefs more likely to come true. Don't think about the terrible psychologist, stay positive and believe in your excellent choice!

Edited September 5, 201511 yr by nnv

What a rude and unprofessional person! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Ugh!

All I have to say is: there's a risk of dying when you cross the street or step into the shower. You have a whole list of reasons why you know this surgery is right for you and a good thing to do, just like the rest of us, I'm sure. If you feel confidence in your surgeon and yourself, don't let the crappy actions of that horrid "psychologist", and I use that term extremely loosely, deter you from this goal you have had for so long. Realistically, the chances of complications, let alone death, are SO low. The chances of you coming out of it healthy and happy? SO HIGH.

You've got this. Keep us posted. There are great things coming your way, and don't let that idiot, who probably has her own insecurities and judgmental attitude toward WLS, bring you down. We're all here to support you!

That was blunt, but it's also their job to make sure that you know the risks. If you really think about it. You're probably more likely to die from being overweight and/or comorbidities, than from having the surgery.

I've had plenty of surgeries as a very large person throughout my life, and I'm still alive, and I had a very complicated WLS. But I'm still here.

You just have to get the right perspective. Good luck to you!

Thank you all so much for the responses. I know it's just about getting in the right mindset and staying positive. Only a few days away from the biggest change in my life!

This will be the best decision you've ever made for yourself. I'm sure that doctor was just trying to see what kind of reaction she'd get from you. That was really uncalled for though. Stay tough and strong and know that you are doing the right thing for yourself.

That was a really blunt way to get your reaction. During my psych visit for surgery, he said very close to the same thing to me. My response to him was that yes, death could occur from surgery, but I also felt that if I continued on the path I was on, death was on the table anyway. I guess my take on it was that I'm going to die at some point anyway, and I'd rather do this and try to prolong my chances and be healthy in doing so. These psychologists and psychiatrists have seen so many of us going through the process of WLS that I'm sure they all have their own twist on reaction getting questions. I'm not condoning it, but as a healthcare professional, I also see the reason.

Ultimately, the choice has to be yours and yours alone. Good luck :-)

You could die going to work. Or sitting in her office. Or in the shower. I mean, as a mental health professional myself, that was completely inappropriate and ridiculous thing to say to you.

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