SkinnyDown

I have a lot of photos of myself from days long past.

Photos of myself at an extremely unhealthy weight.

Photos of myself at a time that I was eating as a way of dealing with my emotions.
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These pictures represent a time in my life where I was constantly sad, constantly depressed. They represent a time when I felt completely unworthy. They are pictures of a woman who put on a fake smile to hide all the pain inside.
They capture a woman who felt like she was drowning in the co-morbid conditions that the disease of obesity had brought her too.
I was full-blown diabetic, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, severe edema and severe depression. There were days that I was simply non-functional.
I knew that my weight was causing these medical issues and truthfully, I didn’t care. I had given up on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I very consciously made the decision to not care about what my lifestyle behavior choices were doing to my health and to my body.
I had a lot of days that I really wished I wasn’t even there. I was very aware that I was digging a grave with a fork and a spoon. In fact, if I am being completely honest, that was very much my intention.
These photos portray a woman who truthfully didn’t love herself. A woman who didn’t believe that she was worthy of being loved.
They portray a woman who was still very much caught in the survivor mentality of life. A woman who had grown up a survivor of physical, sexual and verbal abuse. A woman who was psychologically using her weight as a way to build walls and keep people out.
Sometimes I post photos of my transformation, a before-and-after photo of myself and I look at it and I think “Oh my god, who is that girl?” or “I don’t recognize that woman anymore.”
Almost instantly someone will see my photo and tell me that I was just as beautiful then as I am now or that I have always been the same person.
I very rarely respond to these comments because I really don’t know how to explain. Really, that’s your interpretation, not mine. I don’t need you to qualify my beauty and I don’t need you to diminish the celebration of my transformation.
Let me pause here and clarify something – if you have ever been one of those people who came on to my post and made a comment like this, I am not spanking you. I realize that you’re trying to be a positive voice in a negative world. I realized that you are trying to be supportive and kind and I appreciate that. I try to do the same and there are far too many people out there that are willing to tear each other down rather than to build each other up.
What I am trying to do is maybe get you to see the situation through a different perspective. I’m trying bring light to the fact that sometimes what we think is positive and supportive, if contrary to how someone feels about themselves, really isn’t.




Sometimes I think we are so busy trying to make sure that those that are dealing with obesity do not feel shamed or stigmatized that we forget that obesity is a very complex disease and that it can be caused by many different things.
If I was a recovering drug addict and I posted a before and after photo of myself with a tourniquet around my arm and a needle in my vein would you tell me that I was just as beautiful then as I am now?
I am one of the first people to stand up against weight bias, weight stigma and weight discrimination. Nobody should ever have to experience those things and I spend a lot of my free time trying to help educate and raise awareness to fight these societal intolerances.
I am also the first person to stand up and say that obesity is not healthy. Obesity isn’t a pretty disease. It is as unkind and ugly as any other deadly disease. Just like you can’t look at a photo of someone and decide that the reason they struggle with their weight is because they make poor lifestyle choices and over consume food; you also can’t look at a photo and assume that it’s not.




As a recovering food addict, someone who used food to feed my feelings and someone who was purposely and systematically killing herself with food, when I look at a photo of myself and say “I don’t recognize that girl anymore.” — I don’t need someone to tell me that they do.
I’d much rather see my transformation acknowledged in a way that doesn’t focus on looks but rather on the accomplishment. “Way to go! What an amazing transformation.” “That’s awesome, congratulations on your health accomplishments!” “What a great job. Look how far you have come.” There are a ton of ways we can acknowledge before and after transformations without using beauty as our quantifier.
As someone who has very openly discussed body images issues after weight loss, I can honestly tell you that when someone tells me I am just as beautiful then as I am now I have to remind myself that they are talking about on the inside. Because just a couple of years ago a comment like that would have me standing in front of my mirror wondering what I needed to “fix” about my body to make it noticeably different.
When I look at those before photos and all they represent, I don’t think I was beautiful then. I think I was suffering. I think I was in a very dark place and I think my obesity was a very physical symptom of that ugliness. I’m relieved everyday that I was able to bounce back from it.
I look back at those photos and I am thankful that I have managed to find a way to maintain my recovery from obesity and food addictions in a world that is food-centric. I look back at those photos and I am grateful that I wasn’t successful at trying to end my life via obesity.
Some people look at those photos and think that I hated myself because I suffered from obesity. The truth is I suffered from obesity because I hated myself. The moment I learned to start loving myself and finding myself worthy, I started making healthier lifestyle decisions.




I am not the same person in those photos. Not on the outside. Not on the inside. I have successfully navigated a lifestyle transformation. If I was the girl you see in my before pictures, you likely wouldn’t have the pleasure of knowing me today, my friends would have been shopping for a casket by now.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

Sorry, the author is Carole Jackson, and yes its updated and still in print. Try Barnes and Noble, or Amazon, or just google for info.

Im 57 years old , gone from 225 lbs to 144 and im pretty darn sure I haven't spent $30, 000 dollars on my wardrobe in my entire life. I dont have to dress up for work ( jeans are fine) but I still look stylish, professional and pulled together every single day. People compliment me often on my nice clothes , it's always from Goodwill !!! I bought only what looked good and fit my body, and age, not because it was popular or a bargain price. I will say one book that helped me a long time ago was called "Color me beautiful" I think the author was Carole Johnson ? She saved me a fortune once I figured out what season I was ( winter) , I ve never bought the wrong colors since. Money well spent !!

I have been very limited in the clothes I can wear for years. Fortunately, I was also able to find a good seamstress who helped me fill out my work wardrobe.
As I lose weight I am looking forward to being able to find nice things at consignment, thrift, and even conventional stores. I plan to only buy things that I absolutely love, are flattering, and that I can afford.
I also have the same attitude towards food now: only choosing food that is delicious, nutritious, and fits in my program.

She's selling her services. She made all these mistakes now she wants us to pay her so we don't.
I don't care, I've always been a quirky, gothy, weird, punk rock girl, and going to remain that girl. Fat or thin.
Plus I would never spend that much money on clothing. That money could be used so much more wisely. To help others, comes to mind. Just my opinion, doesn't have to be your truth.

Gosh.
I found a good seamstress as I got closer to goal. Saved me from donating almost new clothes. About $10. Per article. Now they are almost tailor made... Just an option for those not able to spend thousands⭐️

Wow! Not a great way to advertise your business. Most people will see 30k and go the opposite direction.

Jeez Louise! You spent $30K on new clothes in two years?
That's a helluva bigger problem than not being able to figure out your "personal style."

Boy am I glad I work from home and only have to dress up once in a while. Eeek! But as for clothes, I do think the jeans sizes going down are the key to happiness and momentum (rather than that damn scale).

Deleting my original post as Sharon1964 expressed my sentiments so succinctly in her post below.

I haven't spent $30K on my clothing in my lifetime and I'm 54.

Thanks for your article. It is so true that we can’t lose weight just by telling ourselves to eat right or by depending on the WLS procedure itself. We need to explore our own reasons for not having been able to lose weight in the past, and figure out how we can free ourselves to succeed now. Thanks for this article.

If you resolve the issues in your mind that keep you stuck, and overweight, then you will be successful. Your mind has the power to make you slim, and healthy.
And your mind has the power to keep you overweight, unhealthy and stuck.Your greatest wealth is your health and wellbeing.


The excess weight you carry, or your disordered eating habits is simply a consequence of you rewarding, and commiserating with yourself with food; stress and comfort eating; sugar cravings, and a myriad of old habits, and beliefs that are no longer helpful for you to lose weight, or be as healthy as you can be.
Your mind plays an enormous role in how your body is allowed to manifest health, and slimness together with the ability to make the right choices to ensure you eat for nourishment instead of self-punishment.
Carrying excess weight is never about being greedy, or about a lack of willpower. That’s why diets simply do not work - but you already know that!
As therapists Sally Baker and Liz Hogon target your body by changing your mind.
YOUR MIND IS WHERE YOU WILL CREATE YOUR WEIGHT LOSS, AND WELLBEING.
Surgical interventions alone...won’t do it.
Any "step-by-step approach"... won't do it.
"Forcing" yourself to go without... won't do it.
Any preconceived ideas... won't do it.
It is time to finally explore, and release your mind of old, unhelpful beliefs, and negative thinking to become a manifestation of good health, and well-being so that you can achieve a slimmer, happier you.
If you resolve the issues in your mind that keep you stuck, and overweight, then you will be successful.
Your mind has the power to make you slim, and healthy.
And your mind has the power to keep you overweight, unhealthy, and stuck.
It's your choice to free yourself.
If you understand this, just whisper "yes" to yourself. It is time to acknowledge it out-loud to make it real.
The underlying reasons for emotional eating are similar to the layers of an onion, so it’s important to peel back those layers in the most effective way releasing, and resolving deeper, and deeper issues as you progress. One effective way of approaching this work is chronologically.
Tracing your past
Focus on increasing your understanding, and insight into your own life events, and memories around your weight. Write down times in your life when your weight and your eating has felt more in balance, and times in your life when your weight escalated and your eating felt out of control. This exploration is called The Time Line Protocol. It’s useful to begin with your earliest recollections, and go right through to the present day. What was happening for you emotionally around those key times in your life, and most critically what judgements do you make about yourself from those memories, and events?
Blaming yourself is exhausting, and keeps you stuck. “It’s all my fault,” and other negative self-talk is dispiriting and undermines your self-esteem. Many people who struggle with losing weight think very poorly of themselves so making changes to how you think about yourself can be key to effectively clearing negative self-beliefs.
Sally Baker, and Liz Hogon recommend two free therapy tools to help you explore, and resolve any negative judgements triggered by the past, and release your negative thoughts. You can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and PSTEC (Percussive Suggestion Technique) as two easy to learn self-help therapy tools available for no charge from www.your7simpleteps.com/Resources.
This will assist you with everything practical you are doing for your own transformation.

@ Sreeves I am so excited to hear this! I was thinking to myself it has to be better than tobacco products. I'm scared to death to try though. I smoked for 12 years; Marlboro Medium 100s and then I switched to vaping 2 years ago. It was the best thing ever. I don't desire a tobacco cigarette at all; just my vape.
@ RazorbackSusan If you aren't a smoker than you don't know the struggle of it. It's very hard to quit. But I respect your bluntness. I am aware that it's not a healthy choice. Like I said, it's a struggle.

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my iron and supplements.
I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

If you’re a weight loss surgery patient or patient-to-be, you’d better grow a thick skin if you haven’t already. Your thick skin will help shield you from negative reactions to bariatric surgery. People are not afraid to make personal and hurtful comments about this surgery, even they often have no idea about the facts.


One of the barriers to getting weight loss surgery is the fear of telling others about it. People are quick to make you feel ashamed about your choice. They accuse you of cheating or of making a dangerous decision.
But it’s not just uninformed people who can make you feel bad. What about the media, which you trust to get its facts straight, and which influences millions of Americans’ beliefs and opinions? Sadly, the media spreads its share of misinformation about weight loss surgery.
One striking example occurred on the final episode of this season of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.” For the record, this was not the first time this show publicly aired negative comments about weight loss surgery. On this occasion, Dr. Robert Huizenga clearly stated that weight loss surgery is an unhealthy choice. The implication was that it is a mistake in all cases, and far inferior to the weight loss methods used by “The Biggest Loser” contestants.
There was no mention of the fact that the weight loss methods used by the contestants are the exact same as the most effective weight loss methods used by weight loss surgery patients. That is, both use a low-calorie diet that dramatically reduces junk foods, and both encourage physical activity. The problem with weight loss surgery? Dr. Huizenga did not explain. Viewers can only guess at the horrors he was thinking of.
I’m certainly not the only one to notice such snubs on national television. The BariatricPal community had a thing or two to say about this particular episode of “The Biggest Loser,” and I invite you to check out the comments and add to the discussion if you haven’t already.
The Biggest Loser
Nobody’s dream in life is to get weight loss surgery. Unfortunately, nobody’s dream in life is to struggle with obesity, but many of us do. What options do we have? Those of us who have chosen weight loss surgery chose it because we exhausted our other options. Those options – regular diets – just didn’t work for us.
So, what would Dr. Huizenga have recommended in my case? A 16-week stay at the Biggest Loser Ranch, just like the contestants who made it to the season finale? Full dietary, medical, and physical activity support, just like the contestants? Sure, I would have been happy to try that option. Unfortunately, it costs about $3,000 per week to stay at the resort. That’s a value of $48,000, not including the longer-term support contestants receive.
Could I have lost the weight without surgery if I had had $48,000 to spend and the promise of lifetime support? I don’t know. What I do know is I did not have the chance to try. I did, however, have the chance to get weight loss surgery, and I made the most of it.
Don’t get me wrong. I really respect what I see on television of the Biggest Loser trainers and health staff that I see on television. Dr. Huizenga seems genuinely distressed about contestants’ poor health at the beginning of the show, and just as genuinely satisfied about their improved prognoses by the end. This season, trainer Jen’s tears were representative of the sincere stake the trainers have in the contestants’ lives. And, like many in America, I’d be on the first plane to Los Angeles if Bob or Dolvett offered to train me. But I do wish they did not feel the need to bash weight loss surgery without explanation.
The Truth of the Matter
Even if you have the choice between losing weight the Biggest Loser way or through weight loss surgery, which is better? There’s no question that you need to decide for yourself, but let’s take a look at each of these weight loss methods.
Losing weight Biggest Loser style means spending hours a day in the gym. The show doesn’t air nearly as much material on food as it does on exercise, although terrible eating habits got contestants to where they were, and good nutrition is clearly a part of their new lifestyles. It seems doubtful that Biggest Loser contestants can continue to exercise so many hours per day for the rest of their lives after the show, and I am certain that many other individuals just do not have this kind of time.
Weight loss surgery is…well…surgery. It involves going under the knife and changing something about your insides. There are inherent risks that are unavoidable when you undergo weight loss surgery. Aside from that, bariatric surgery requires a controlled, high-protein, nutritious diet, and exercise is recommended. Many patients can average about 100 pounds, or a respectable and reasonable 2 pounds per week, during their first year after surgery.
How do the results of losing weight Biggest Loser style versus with bariatric surgery? Initial weight loss seems comparable, according to a study discussed in US News and World Reports. But the study found Biggest Loser contestants ending up with a lower metabolic rate – making them potentially more likely to regain their weight. Granted, this study did not follow participants long-term, so we do not know what will happen in 10 or 20 years. What does seem clear, though, is that it is not yet justifiable for the “Biggest Loser” to state matter-of-factly that all weight loss surgery is bad.
Why Does It Matter?
Does it really matter what a reality television show says in passing about weight loss surgery? I believe it does. For one thing, the country already has a culture that largely views bariatric surgery negatively. We don’t need to increase the negative feelings with these vague statements proclaiming that the show helps contestants lose weight the “right” way, and other methods of weight loss are “wrong.”
Second, the show has millions of loyal viewers, including many who may be eligible for weight loss surgery. In my opinion, the show is doing them a disservice by stating unequivocally that bariatric surgery is a bad option. For some of these viewers, bariatric surgery may be the only option that would allow them to lose the weight that has plagued them their entire lives.
I don’t know what the solution is to this problem of negativity towards weight loss surgery and weight loss surgery patients. Education and patience come to mind – spread the word, when you can, about how weight loss surgery works and why some people get it. And, grow a thick skin. No matter where you are in your weight loss journey, you’re bound to get some negative comments about your decisions. Just know that you are doing the right thing for yourself.