Hello and good morning my friends. Welcome to Banders #7. So, I guess I'll start it off by saying how grateful I am today and every day for the new lease on life that I have. I walked to the office today from the train station. That was something I couldn't do before the surgery. I always say how light I feel and I realized it's not a state of mind, but a physical reality. We are weighed down by the excess weight and all that goes with it. When we don't rumble and jumble as we walk, our steps are lighter. I was listening to my ipod and started to dance a little as I was walking. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but who cares? When one is thin, even looking ridiculous seems OK.

I am grateful for my for my beautiful grandson who I was able to tuck into my lap last Saturday morning so we could play while Mommy and Daddy got to sleep in a bit. I'm grateful that I fit anywhere and everywhere. No more worrying if I will break a chair, or be able to navigate a booth at the restaurant, or walk down a narrow aisle without having to suck it all in just to get past someone/something.

I'm grateful for my health. I take alot of pills, but many of them are supplements and not prescription for chronic ailments. I'm grateful that I can walk again...that I can swim, bike, climb, and yes....enjoy sex. I am surprised at how flexible I can be now that I'm thin.

I'm grateful that I earn enough money that I can indulge my new found love of shopping. I really think I'm one of the best dressed ladies in the office these days...and I know I've upped the game for others. I am definitely seeing more dresses than I did a year ago.

I'm grateful to Alex for having this site available...and I'm grateful to all the folks on it who are part of my success. I know I would not have been as successful as I have been if not for all of you. I talk about things here that I don't talk to anyone else about. You all know the struggles of being fat, and immobile, and feeling like a failure regardless of what we've accomplished..and I know now how much we 'hidden' people have accomplished. It's helping me to not turn that self hatred towards others still struggling with obesity. It also reminds me that I will always struggle with obesity. Under this thin person still lurks the fat girl. She is the one who whispers in my ear all the time that I'm not worthy of the good things out there and I should just order a pizza and eat the whole thing. She and I clash daily and it's why I still go every Tuesday to the therapist who listens and helps me to navigate this new world I inhabit.

Well...I think I've posted enough for today. Feel free to comment on the above, or share your stories, or say hi, or just lurk. Enjoy your day today...enjoy the upcoming holiday, and looking forward to a wonderfully robust Banders #7 thread.

Liz

Thanks girls. Your words mean everything to me and I appreciate your kindness and concern more than you know. I'm going to talk to the doctor who recommended the surgeon. I've been his patient for years and maybe he can speak to the surgeon in my behalf to see if there is an earlier opening. If I didn't have to wait six weeks just to get the surgery, I might not feel so overwhelmed. I'll see what he can do..if anything. If I can feel like I'm in control of even a little of this, I'll be better. I've definitely reached out to friends and family for support which I didn't always do in the past. It's still hard for me to do that but another thing I need to work on I guess...

Today is my three year bandiversary. I am so grateful for this second chance at life. My LapBand was the first step of many and I couldn't be happier.

Not gonna lie. I'm wondering if I'll ever get to my goal weight. I am hovering at the same weight now for half a year. I'd like to lose 25-30 more but it's just not coming off. I think I have to start an exercise program. Ugh. I'm such a child. Lol. I don't wanna. Aaarggghh

On ‎3‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 11:21 AM, JustWatchMe said:

Today is my three year bandiversary. I am so grateful for this second chance at life. My LapBand was the first step of many and I couldn't be happier.

I'm a little late but congrats on your 3 year bandiversary! I hope you are doing well!!!!!

By the way girls...I've been feeling so down and depressed that I've wanted to eat myself silly. Every time I think about doing so, I hear all of you encouraging me to stay the course. Just shows me that the Beast is there...will always be there. All I can do is manage it.

I haven't been on in a very long time! I hope everyone is doing well! I guess you can say I'm holding my own but am feeling a little defeated and looking for some words of encouragement from those who I know have been where I am right now. Some times saying these things out loud is the kick I need to pick up and tackle what I need to fix. For the last several months- since November, I've been on this terrible 5 day on 2 day off cycle. I do incredibly well during the week, making all the right food choices, getting the right amount of protein, water etc., and even adding in some exercise here and there but then here comes the weekend and I end up throwing all that hard work out the window and then continues the cycle of one step forward, two steps back. I know what needs to happen but this ugly thing called fear has crept in, filling me with doubts of what if I can't do this, what if I can't get this under control, what if I go back to where I was. I'm battling with about 10lbs and I feel like everyone in the world can see it and is thinking here she goes again, packing back on the weight, I knew she couldn't do it. Now can anyone really tell, I have no idea and saying this out loud makes me feel very selfish. Yes, my clothes still fit the same but I don't feel the same and I'm starting to question the way I look- I'm analyzing myself and asking those close to me if they can tell any difference and of course I get the are you kidding me answer. FEAR is the ultimate 4-letter word and one I want to completely have removed from my mind and vocabulary! Any thing you can think to say I'm willing to listen. Thank you!!!!!

8 minutes ago, gowalking said:

By the way girls...I've been feeling so down and depressed that I've wanted to eat myself silly. Every time I think about doing so, I hear all of you encouraging me to stay the course. Just shows me that the Beast is there...will always be there. All I can do is manage it.

I can completely identify. I haven't been on here in a while and I knew that if I did I would find what I needed and what I had been missing. I understand where you're coming from. The beast is real, there's no band or sleeve or any other device that's going to make it go away but even as I struggle I strongly believe that our awareness of this is what is going to keep us hanging on and fighting!!!!

I haven't been on in a very long time! I hope everyone is doing well! I guess you can say I'm holding my own but am feeling a little defeated and looking for some words of encouragement from those who I know have been where I am right now. Some times saying these things out loud is the kick I need to pick up and tackle what I need to fix. For the last several months- since November, I've been on this terrible 5 day on 2 day off cycle. I do incredibly well during the week, making all the right food choices, getting the right amount of protein, water etc., and even adding in some exercise here and there but then here comes the weekend and I end up throwing all that hard work out the window and then continues the cycle of one step forward, two steps back. I know what needs to happen but this ugly thing called fear has crept in, filling me with doubts of what if I can't do this, what if I can't get this under control, what if I go back to where I was. I'm battling with about 10lbs and I feel like everyone in the world can see it and is thinking here she goes again, packing back on the weight, I knew she couldn't do it. Now can anyone really tell, I have no idea and saying this out loud makes me feel very selfish. Yes, my clothes still fit the same but I don't feel the same and I'm starting to question the way I look- I'm analyzing myself and asking those close to me if they can tell any difference and of course I get the are you kidding me answer. FEAR is the ultimate 4-letter word and one I want to completely have removed from my mind and vocabulary! Any thing you can think to say I'm willing to listen. Thank you!!!!!

Hi I am been there and recently decided to go back to basics and ask for help from the doctor, he send me to a Bariatric Nutricinist and I am back to eat the way I was told and seriously it was the right decision because I already lost 10 pounds since march 4 when I saw her and everything is about eat the protein and the right food , she told me that we can still enjoy the food just the right food and even ice cream but to look for the ones low sugar and high in protein and it is thru we are only humans and we will fail but the important thing is get out and try again , get help and support this is not a easy journey but I can tell you that eating with a schedule from breakfast thru dinner and snacks and water in between is helping me a lot , even when I go out to eat I am not the same as before because when you see the pounds coming back to you then you realize that you need to go back and start again with the basics stuffs , good luck .

Gowalking and enjoythetime, you can do this. For me it's been an ebb and flow. I'm thankful my band prevented a big gain but I gained a few pounds a few months ago because I got into c ookies of all things. For me the OA program helps a lot. I started working with an OA sponsor last year and that keeps me from sliding into denial for too long.

Last year at this time I was walking the staircase at work several times a day just for exercise. Today I have no motivation to do that. This weight-loss journey is a process, that's for sure. I don't think I will ever "have it figured out" and be able to just rest on my laurels.

But something happened last night. As I was walking out of a restaurant with a friend of mine, we saw an elderly couple having trouble because the wife fell while trying to get into the car. We stopped and helped lift her up. She was not obese, just slightly overweight. She was practically crying. She kept saying, "I am dead weight. I am dead weight. I am so sorry." My heart was breaking for her because I could feel her embarrassment. I made a joke about the time I fell down the stairs and thought I broke all the bones in my leg. Of course, she did not know that I was once obese.

Anyway, I have a keen appreciation for the healt h I have today. If I slipped and fell on the sidewalk right now, I would not be ashamed if someone helped pick me up.

You two ladies have been through a life changing process. And you're not done. It is a journey, not a destination. This may feel like a giant roadblock, but it is really just a bump in the road. Hang in there. You give me inspiration.

On ‎3‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 8:19 AM, gowalking said:

Oh girls...things have gotten so much worse since I posted on Sunday. My back gave out on Wednesday. Like an old tire that just blew. I did see the surgeon yesterday as was scheduled but instead of being able to consider back surgery in the future, I'm faced with no choice but to undergo the procedure as I can barely walk at this point. There's nothing more can be done for me medically or otherwise and until I have the surgery on April 25th, which is his first opening, I'm almost completely bedbound.

I've been crying for days. All my plans are out the window. My trip to Scandinavia is at risk. I've been planning this for over a year...my trip of a lifetime...and I may very well have to cancel it. I won't be able to see my grandson or baby sit him as I'd planned. I likely won't be at his second birthday party. I won't be going to Atlanta with Corey as we had planned...or all the other things he and I have planned. I have to call HR first thing Monday morning to make sure I am protected at work while this is all going on. I had a great manager when my hips were done and he assured me that I should take the time I needed to get well. I don't have that manager anymore and I don't trust this one at all. I may have to work from home till this is all taken care of and she probably won't like that.

The good news is that the surgeon says this will work and I'll be better. The other good news is that I have a man who is with me for the long haul. All of a sudden he has a girlfriend who went from going and doing and keeping up with him to one who has become a burden. He says of course not but that's how I feel. Like I'm a burden and he's been saddled with damaged goods. I feel so guilty even though he tells me to stop and that he doesn't feel that way at all. I'm overwhelmed as you can probably tell....

I know you can't do anything for me but any encouragement at this point would be appreciated. I'm feeling very sorry for myself as you can imagine...but you girls have been through the ringer with me...as I've been with you and I feel like I can put it out there and you can help me see my way out.

Anyway, that's the story and I so hope things are going gangbusters for you all. Have a great Saturday and I'll 'talk' with you soon.

Liz

oh my dear Liz I am so sorry to hear about your back issue. But, trust your Dr. and look forward to better days. You are always so optimistic for all of us so you will get better and Cory will help. I haven't been on the forum because, my significant other had a colonoscopy on the 15th, I brought him home and later that night he had horrific pain. I rushed him to my local ER, found out they had pierced his colon during the scope. He was rushed into surgery and it was repaired but what a horrific week. I got him home yesterday and he is doing better, still sore and very tired. Thank God I was with him and he wasn't alone, the Dr. said he could have died. I am having abdominal surgery on the 19th of April and he's on board for taking care of me. We discussed this way back when we first started dating and he absolutely is fine with it. I will be praying for you to recuperate well . I know your guy will take good care of you. Your plans can be re-made and you will be out and about before you know it. Take Care my friend.

We are all here in our own small way, to support each other . I truly value the input here as life changes (illnesses, deaths, divorces, and ok. Weight gains )keep happening and ....
We have no choice but to deal with them head on!
I send support to all my veteran friends who know how difficult the years get.
( i have a bit of indifference to those boasting about 3 month losses... yet I remember how good it felt to see the weight dropping)

THIS is where I go to see the real, everyday struggles and achievements of my tribe.
Fondly,

On 3/22/2017 at 1:56 PM, enjoythetime said:

I'm a little late but congrats on your 3 year bandiversary! I hope you are doing well!!!!!

Hi Stranger!! glad to see you.

11 hours ago, Sharpie said:

lioh my dear Liz I am so sorry to hear about your back issue. But, trust your Dr. and look forward to better days. You are always so optimistic for all of us so you will get better and Cory will help. I haven't been on the forum because, my significant other had a colonoscopy on the 15th, I brought him home and later that night he had horrific pain. I rushed him to my local ER, found out they had pierced his colon during the scope. He was rushed into surgery and it was repaired but what a horrific week. I got him home yesterday and he is doing better, still sore and very tired. Thank God I was with him and he wasn't alone, the Dr. said he could have died. I am having abdominal surgery on the 19th of April and he's on board for taking care of me. We discussed this way back when we first started dating and he absolutely is fine with it. I will be praying for you to recuperate well . I know your guy will take good care of you. Your plans can be re-made and you will be out and about before you know it. Take Care my friend.

Oh Sharpie...so glad you were there to save him. Wow. Good luck with your surgery. I'm trying to just put one foot in front of the other so to speak. I can't actually walk so that's a very absurd statement..lol.

Anyway...yes, Corey is taking care of me and I would do the same for him. I love this man. I can't say why...I just do. I miss him when he's not here. All of a sudden, I went from someone who enjoyed her alone time to being someone who enjoys his company even when we're busy doing our own things. His son just found out that if he wants to keep his job, he needs to transfer to another state so the reasons for him to stay where he is just changed a whole bunch. I want to fall alsleep next to him every night. I don't like beeing alone in the bed anymore. I just have to be sensible and not let my emotions rule. I know I'm very vulnerable right now so alot of what I'm feeling is about this so of course we won't do anything now except keep on keeping on. Take care of yourself and your man. And don't overeat or make poor choices..lol.

Love your girls!

Liz

Reading all the messages and sending my virtual support and prayers. I'm down 53 pounds since getting banded in October. I'm not making progress due to lack of exercise. My knees ache. I'm going to see a sports medicine / orthopedic surgeon tomorrow (Friday). I don't a specific injury. I suspect age and obesity have taken a toll. I'm hoping he does x-rays and identifies the issue. I'm hoping he can give me cortisone injections in both knees to get me relief so I can exercise and take off more weight. I hope I don't need surgery. I wonder if I have arthritis? Hopefully all will be answered tomorrow.

Lap-banded and love it!

yes I totally know how you feel. When Bob was in the hospital last week I felt like a lost puppy even though I spent as much time as I could with him, I spent the first night after surgery in his room. he was so sick I stayed up all night hoping he would be okay . we both are so happy when we are together it's scary. I almost forgot how my life was without him. he must have told me 20 times how much he loved me when he was waiting for surgery, think the drugs had him a little nutty.. lol anyway I know that I hate sleeping without him also.. even now he is still sore and not recovered we have to be careful how we cuddle.. I am amazed at how much I love him already . my daughter is finally getting better about him being with me. so, I hope cory is able to stay close to you. Life is such a adventure sometimes , but its all supposed to work out. Take care of yourself and you are in my prayers.