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I've tried but it's hard when you have to refuse food or drinks. So far I've only told family and if anyone asks I just say I had surgery and drop it at that.

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At first, pre-op, I only told my immediate family & best friend. I felt like you ... that I didnt want to deal with the negativity of others. That said, now that it is over & I feel so great, I am telling anyone & everyone who asks! This has been a total life changer for me and I am no longer concerned with the responses. I feel good & that is all that matters. And to be honest, I have encountered VERY FEW negative opinions. Most people are happy for me because they can see that I am happy.

Do what is best for you, but I'd suggest you take it as it comes. You need to feel comfortable with what you chose to say.

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I am getting a sleeve next Monday, and have only told my husband. I didn't tell him until I had all the pre op test done. I have not told my two children, my parents, siblings or friends. I am already nervous and don't want the added pressure or attention to my progress. Tell who you are comfortable telling. You are not obligated to let anyone know.

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I told NO ONE ! IVE LOST 54LBS AND IM HAPPY BUT I FEEL SO ALONE ..I HAD MY SURGERY IN MEXICO AND I HAVE ALOT OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS BUT IM HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHTLOSS.. I HAVE NOT WORN ANYTHING UNDER A SIZE LARGE IN YEARS. AND IT FEELS SO GOOD .I JUST WISH I HAD SOMEBODY I COULD TALK TO ABOUT IT.. EVERYONE THINKS I HAVE BAD STOMACH PROBLEMS.. PPL TELL ME I LOOK LIKE IM 18YRS OLD LOL! IM 44...I JUST REAALY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CHEWING SOOOOOOOOO MUCH AND SLOW...WHEN I DONT IM IN PAIN ALOT AND I HAVE TO SLOW DOWN..

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I didn't tell anyone but immediate family at first. BUT, if someone ask, I tell them. Makes no difference to me what they think. I did it for me, not them.

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I'm six weeks away from surgery and so far only my immediate family (parents, sister & family), my three closest friends, and my minister at church know. My dad told me that he did tell my aunt too, so I'm now going to assume that not only does my aunt know, but both my uncles and other aunt now know too. My trainer at the gym also knows too--we've been working out together for 3 years, so he knows me well and will need to be able to adapt workouts for me when I am cleared to exercise again until I am at full strength.

I don't know yet if I'm going to tell people at work or what I'm going to tell them. It still seems so personal to me.

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Yeah I was pretty open about my having the surgery. Which now that I'm looking back on I am very glad that I did. There is nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to dealing with obesity and trying to do the things you can do to help overcome it. I also think that by me being so open about the procedure and all the pluses and minus post surgery its not only helping me to deal with the journey better, but it may help someone else who may also be thinking about weight loss surgery.

Edited by BigTink2LilTink

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when I was banded, i kept it a secret. Told my partner, my children and my closest sister. One day I was at a family reunion, walked into my sister's campsite in time to hear her telling everyone there all the terrible things about my lapband. She didn't see me at first, and when she did, changed subject but never awknowledged that break of trust. It was especially painful because I was having severe problems (it was right before i had to have all my fill removed and give up on the band).

When I was sleeved, I didn't tell "everyone" but I don't make a secret either... this has worked alot better for me. I assume anyone I tell will likely blab it.

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I decided to be very open about it and I have received an overwhelming amount of positive support from family, work and friends. For me, talking about it was the final step in letting go of my shame about being overweight. And, you have to remember, the weight loss will be extreme, so at a certain point, do you want people to wonder or be concerned about your health? Personally, once I owned my decision, the doors flew open and I felt like a huge weight, pardon the pun, had been lifted for me mentally! Good luck on your journey.

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One word that says it all.....HIPPA. My business is my business, not everyone else's. I'm a very private person with everything. But, to each their own. Everybody is different.

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I have told only my mom and daughter. The two friends I mentioned it to said I was crazy. So, Im headed to Mexico with my mom and daughter and ready to live again! If people ask, I will say diet and exercise. Im done with judgement and opinions.

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I originally told my mom when I first thought about getting it but I told her to please not tell anybody because it was my business, next day I get a call from my sister in law asking about the surgery, so I ended up telling my mom that j changed my mind, I got sleeved 2 days ago I haven't seen my mom in a few months so she might be able to tell idk yet. I did tell one of my brother, 3 of my best friends and my neighbor who had gastric bypass so we are like supporting each other through the journey. Other than that I don't know what I should tell people, personally I don't want to talk about the surgery unless is someone who might benefit from it too.

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#41

One word that says it all.....HIPPA. My business is my business, not everyone else's. I'm a very private person with everything. But, to each their own. Everybody is different.

Absolutely!!!!

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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