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As a weight loss surgery patient, you have to decide whether to tell others about your weight loss surgery. Should you come out of the “weight loss surgery closet” and tell others about your weight loss surgery? Whom should you tell? What should you say? How much should you talk about?
There’s no single right answer to these questions. The right thing for you to do is whatever makes you most comfortable.
Some people tell everyone everything. They want to share their experiences to try to help others, to get people to understand what they are going through, and to show that they are proud of their actions towards a healthier lifestyle.
Some people tell their closest family members and friends most things, and tell more distant acquaintances only the basics or nothing. They might think of weight loss surgery as a medical issue that you don’t talk about in public indiscriminately.
Some people tell others on a “need to know” basis. People who “need to know” are often household members and close friends. Other people whom you feel “need to know” may be individuals who themselves are fighting with obesity and therefore might benefit from hearing your story.
Some people keep it as quiet as possible. They feel that the only reaction they’ll get is a negative one; that uninformed people will judge them for “taking the easy way out;” and that they’ll just feel bad about themselves.

Getting Rid of Society’s Weight Loss Surgery Stigma
Imagine that you, a weight loss surgery patient named “Jane,” are part of the following conversation.
Person A: Hi, guys! Great to see you! How are you?
Person B: Hey! I’m doing well, thanks. How are you? Have you been able to get any help for your depression?
Person A: Yes, thanks! I’ve found a great therapist and been on some medications, and they’re really helping. How about your diabetes? How has your blood sugar been?
Person B: Oh, it’s okay. I’m taking my meds and really watching my carbs. Most days, my blood sugar is right in range. How are you doing, Jane?
You (Jane): Oh, fine, thanks. You know, same old. Work is good, and the family is doing well, so can’t complain.
The conversation is okay, but shouldn’t you be able to feel just as comfortable talking about your weight loss surgery and new lifestyle as your friends do talking about their mental health and treatment, and their diabetes medications and diet? Nobody bats an eyelash when discussing prescription medications, mental health, and diets. Wouldn’t it be refreshing for a conversation that goes more like the following to be the norm?
Person A: Hi, guys! Great to see you! How are you?
Person B: Hey! I’m doing well, thanks. How are you? Have you been able to get any help for your depression?
Person A: Yes, thanks! I’ve found a great therapist and been on some medications, and they’re really helping. How about your diabetes? How has your blood sugar been?
Person B: Oh, it’s okay. I’m taking my meds and really watching my carbs. Most days, my blood sugar is right in range. How are you doing, Jane?
You (Jane): Great, thanks! The gastric bypass surgery three months ago was pretty rough, but things are on the right track now. I’ve been super careful with my diet, and I think I will finally be able to lose a little weight!
How can weight loss surgery become part of the mainstream conversation? How can we reduce the stigma surrounding obesity and weight loss surgery, just like we have thankfully made a lot of progress reducing the stigma surrounding cancer, mental disorders, HIV/AIDS, and many, many other diseases.
Why does the stigma around obesity – and particularly weight loss surgery – remain? Among the many possible reasons is the lack of information. Most people don’t know:
How many times you have tried and failed to lose the weight long-term.
What weight loss surgery is, and the number of different kinds there are.
That the surgery itself does not make you instantly lose weight.
How hard you have to work to lose weight after surgery by following a very careful and restricted diet.

Coming out of the weight loss surgery closet is a movement. It becomes easier when more people do it. Eventually, weight loss surgery can become an accepted and respected action and topic of conversation.
We’re making some progress. Over the past few years, several celebrities have gotten weight loss surgery procedures and allowed them to become public.
The View host Star Jones Reynolds
Television host Sharon Osbourne
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli
NFL Jets coach Rex Ryan
Actor Brian Dennehy
Wilson Phillips singer Carnie Wilson
Heart vocalist Ann Wilson
Comedian and television star Roseanne Barr
New Jersey governor Chris Christie
American Idol judge Randy Jackson
Weather forecaster Al Roker
Singer Patti Austin
Chef Graham Elliot
Author Anne Rice
Musician John Popper
Singer Etta James

What to Do When You Decide to “Come Out”
Let’s say you decide that you’re ready to come out of the WLS closet. “The Talk” with your friends and family members can be planned.
Practice what you’ll say so that it comes out easily and naturally when you’re ready to say it.
Keep it simple. Most people don’t know what a sleeve plication is, or the difference between gastric bypass or lap-band. Start by telling them that you got a type of weight loss surgery, and provide details if they seem interested.
Be ready for questions. They might wonder what kind of diet you follow, how your stomach feels, whether you have to give up lots of foods, and all sorts of things that may seem basic to you. Be patient with them and answer their questions.
It’s okay to set boundaries. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about dumping syndrome or measuring your food, you don’t have to.

Coming out to other acquaintances might be more spontaneous. The conversation with a work colleague might start with something like, “Hey, how come you never come out to lunch with us anymore?” That’s your chance to answer, “I really miss going out with all of you, but I got weight loss surgery a few months ago. I can’t eat that kind of food on my new diet.”

Got a friend, relative or acquaintance who thinks weight loss surgery's a cop out? Arm yourself with some easy facts that will enlighten the less informed about the brave commitment that's changed your life.



Weight Loss Surgery: The Easy Way Out?


Are you frustrated with diet and exercise? Feel like it’s too much effort for little to no payoff? Is weight loss surgery something to consider? Probably not. Why? The qualifying criteria for surgery is strict; the lifestyle changes required are extreme, and after surgical healing is complete… a healthy, low calorie diet must be followed. And exercise? That doesn’t go away either. In fact, the recommendation is about an hour every day.
Weight loss or bariatric surgery has become more common in the U.S. as surgical techniques and outcomes have improved and most insurance companies are covering it.As a bariatric dietitian, I see patients before, after and many years out from surgery. Sadly, there’s a common misconception that patients who choose to have surgery are taking the easy way out. Short story: going under the knife is copping out.
I find this comment uninformed and hurtful. I have never seen a patient who hasn’t carefully considered the risks of surgery or what they will have to incorporate and eliminate from their lives afterward. Proactively choosing a surgical tool, when all other measures have failed, is a courageous example of taking personal responsibility for one’s health…not a stroll down Easy Street.
Bariatric surgery is not for those with 10, 25 or even 50 lbs. to lose. Surgeons will only operate on patients with a body mass index or BMI that is 40 or greater. If a patient has a chronic disease as well as obesity, the qualifying BMI drops to 35 since the health urgency is even greater.
When an individual meets the BMI minimum and has had no luck with a long series of diet and exercise plans-- weight loss surgery could be the tool helping them regain their health.
Ironically, there’s a lot to gain from bariatric surgery but it comes with a high price. I always ask my patients considering surgery if they are prepared to do the following….permanently.
· Never drink with meals again
· Give up smoking, carbonated drinks and severely restrict if not outright eliminate, alcohol
· Exercise an hour per day 6+ days per week
· Take a minimum of 5 vitamin/mineral supplements throughout the day
· Chew food at least twenty times per bite
And there’s little margin for error. If patients push the limits of their new stomachs, they pay for it with intense physical pain including nausea and vomiting.
The journey after weight loss surgery is exciting, scary, motivating and hard. As more weight is lost, confidence grows but new challenges appear. Relationships can be tested; self-esteem may soar or sink. It’s no surprise that support during this journey is essential. Research repeatedly shows patients receiving professional, non-judgmental support after surgery lose the most weight and keep it off. Since surgery is only step 1 in the weight management marathon, it’s clear to me, patients choosing this option aren’t slackers at all—more like superheroes.