No Wonder I Wasn’t Skinny!

[Ms. Nunya 126]

Moderation in all things that you eat is key.

[Chrystee 838]

@@Sajijoma Big huge hugs to you.

[Sajijoma 1,324]

@@Sajijoma Big huge hugs to you.

thank you Chrystee!

There are some days it really gets to me and then there are days that I say "hey! That was then and this is now. I can't wear it as an excuse my whole life!" I've got 7 beautiful kids and a husband and if I want to eat a whole box of brownies, (and I certainly could)...no one is here to stop me, but I don't because I know I shouldn't and I try....TRY real hard not to be a bad example for my kids. I don't want them to ever feel like I did. In a way, though, I got to redo my childhood through them and the second time around it has been absolutely amazing (except that I can't fit on the slide or the swings anymore. ) I'm hoping by the time our littlest is 3, I'll be fitting on that swing and racing him to see who can get the highest. That's my goal. Not a pant size or number in particular, but fitting on the swing.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I'm hoping by the time our littlest is 3, I'll be fitting on that swing and racing him to see who can get the highest. That's my goal. Not a pant size or number in particular, but fitting on the swing.

That's one of THE BEST WLS goals I have ever seen.

Fabulous goal, Sajijoma. Just wonderful.

[gowalking 10,790]

@Sajijoma....if you don't want the cottage cheese, toss it. I never touched the stuff. My go to for soft foods was and still is hummus. I prefer it and it's full of Protein. I eat it now with torn pieces of wrap bread (very thin so it goes down well) or with baby carrots or red or yellow pepper. I'm sure there are lots of other choices out there as well. Good luck and welcome to BP!

[beccaconaty87 52]

Gosh I can name a lot of food I ate as a kids that were unhealthy. I remember my mom always making enchiladas with extra extra extra extra cheese I mean like two blocks of cheese. I remember her letting us go to the store and get candy all the time. I don't know if you all remember but those little candies that you squirt the pure sugar in your mouth. Or how about the fun dip. Now that's got to be good for you. Oh and don't forget the Slurpees out of the machines that come in a hundred different flavors. Kool Aid just cuz it's made with Water doesn't mean it's good after u after a couple cups of sugar are put in it. My grandma always had dinner like it was Thanksgiving. We always had homemade bread tons of sides mashed potatoes you name it it was on that table. I went into my kids doctor office a few months back and I saw something that was disturbimg. So I usually would go to the store and get two of the 1.5 liters of Pepsi that were on sale. If it was a hot day I could drink it probably in 30 minutes. well I saw @ the doctors office they have these empty pepsi bottles, the one that I drink, but they were full of how much sugar is in them. Half the Bottle was filled up with sugar. It turned my stomach. I swear I could have ran to the bathroom and thrown up.You really don't think about this stuff when you're eating it or when you're drinking it. Its not unless you're tracking what you're eating and looking at the calories in the nutrition in it that you realize just how bad it is for you. That's why it's so important to be food journaling. Then you actually pay attention to what it is that you put in your body. I was at a seminar with Dr Korn who is the weight loss doctor here in my town. He was talking about how if you ate three bites of a quarter pounder with cheese it had 800 or so calories in it. I couldn't believe it. It just kind of turned your stomach and you feel disgusted when you hear just how bad things are for you.

[Sajijoma 1,324]

@Sajijoma....if you don't want the cottage cheese, toss it. I never touched the stuff. My go to for soft foods was and still is hummus. I prefer it and it's full of Protein. I eat it now with torn pieces of wrap bread (very thin so it goes down well) or with baby carrots or red or yellow pepper. I'm sure there are lots of other choices out there as well. Good luck and welcome to BP!

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point!

[rosepose 105]

@Sajijoma....if you don't want the cottage cheese, toss it. I never touched the stuff. My go to for soft foods was and still is hummus. I prefer it and it's full of Protein. I eat it now with torn pieces of wrap bread (very thin so it goes down well) or with baby carrots or red or yellow pepper. I'm sure there are lots of other choices out there as well. Good luck and welcome to BP!

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point!

So from a behavioral psych point of view I'm sure it's an association that can be broken.... I guess I'm wondering why it's important to. I don't mean that the hold that the past has shouldn't be worked on I guess I'm just wondering if there aren't more important things to work on than cottage cheese.

However, if your therapist hasn't suggested any desensitization exercises, you might want to either discuss them or look some up. As a basic idea though I wouldn't start with actually eating the cottage cheese (which I get may sound like a waste) but just having it on your plate regularly and particularly while you're having a really nice time with people. Then maybe have a bite or two with something that you really like flavor wise, again, regularly, and particularly while you're having a fun time with people you have positive associations with. Basically the idea is to just get used to having it around until it doesn't cause you anxiety and then increase the exposure bit by bit. Jumping into eating full portions of it from the beginning sounds like a less optimal plan in terms of potential success.

[mtraverse 326]

We had potatoes with every meal. Mashed or just boiled for dinner (with real butter) - fried for lunch and Breakfast. We ate toast and jam for Snacks - sometimes twice a day and almost always before bed. Pop & chips every Friday night. Pie was common dessert or some type of homemade pudding made with whole milk. Sugary cereals were popular for weekday breakfasts in our house. I've had to relearn everything.

This was exactly like my house! Except there was ALWAYS chocolate too! All the women in my family fight out weight issues but no one as much as I do! Hence my new sleeve!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

@Sajijoma....if you don't want the cottage cheese, toss it. I never touched the stuff. My go to for soft foods was and still is hummus. I prefer it and it's full of Protein. I eat it now with torn pieces of wrap bread (very thin so it goes down well) or with baby carrots or red or yellow pepper. I'm sure there are lots of other choices out there as well. Good luck and welcome to BP!

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point!

So from a behavioral psych point of view I'm sure it's an association that can be broken.... I guess I'm wondering why it's important to. I don't mean that the hold that the past has shouldn't be worked on I guess I'm just wondering if there aren't more important things to work on than cottage cheese.

However, if your therapist hasn't suggested any desensitization exercises, you might want to either discuss them or look some up. As a basic idea though I wouldn't start with actually eating the cottage cheese (which I get may sound like a waste) but just having it on your plate regularly and particularly while you're having a really nice time with people. Then maybe have a bite or two with something that you really like flavor wise, again, regularly, and particularly while you're having a fun time with people you have positive associations with. Basically the idea is to just get used to having it around until it doesn't cause you anxiety and then increase the exposure bit by bit. Jumping into eating full portions of it from the beginning sounds like a less optimal plan in terms of potential success.

We've been working towards this goal for a long time actually. Buying it and just owning it was a big deal. It's not even really about the cottage cheese itself, but about the amount of emotional hold I've given this inanimate object.(so says the therapist) So we've bought it, looked at it, touched it, played with it, and that was all fine in the confines of therapy, but the moment it was time for me to buy it myself and bring it home and work up to eating it without anger or pain attached, there I drop it. I can't move past it and in doing this I can see that I haven't gotten past my past. I understand my mother is mentally ill, I understand that she wasn't responsible for all of her actions, but that hurt and anger and especially the pain are still in there. I have just transferred that emotion to the object of my torture(the cottage cheese). So there is my problem. I need to not associate it with my past so that I can actually work on the deeper issues, but I just can't move past this one. Maybe it's just not time yet. I know it would be beneficial from a post op diet standpoint of I did, but there are so many other options that I might just leave this pot simmering on the back burner awhile longer.

[rosepose 105]

We've been working towards this goal for a long time actually. Buying it and just owning it was a big deal. It's not even really about the cottage cheese itself, but about the amount of emotional hold I've given this inanimate object.(so says the therapist) So we've bought it, looked at it, touched it, played with it, and that was all fine in the confines of therapy, but the moment it was time for me to buy it myself and bring it home and work up to eating it without anger or pain attached, there I drop it. I can't move past it and in doing this I can see that I haven't gotten past my past. I understand my mother is mentally ill, I understand that she wasn't responsible for all of her actions, but that hurt and anger and especially the pain are still in there. I have just transferred that emotion to the object of my torture(the cottage cheese). So there is my problem. I need to not associate it with my past so that I can actually work on the deeper issues, but I just can't move past this one. Maybe it's just not time yet. I know it would be beneficial from a post op diet standpoint of I did, but there are so many other options that I might just leave this pot simmering on the back burner awhile longer.

I totally get that it's become symbolic and as such is the perfect focus. And yes it might be convenient but it's not important enough to push yourself if you're not ready. Sounds like your therapist knows their stuff.

I know your mom wasn't responsible for her actions, but from my perspective you get to feel the anger and hurt, because while as an adult you know these things your feelings are still those of that child who was, and that child deserves to feel angry and hurt without someone, even you, in any way trying to dismiss or invalidate those feelings. You were a defenseless child and there is no set of circumstances that makes it less awful that this happened to you. My research focus in school had to do with trauma and the neurology of trauma survivors. One thing I found really interesting (for personal reasons) is that from a neural function POV (based on imaging) that an unresolved trauma such as this lights up the present tense experience portions of the brain instead of the memory portions of the brain. The research I've seen seems to indicate that allowing your self to experience the emotion fully and not suppress it is the best way to move it from present tense to past tense neurologically which is where it wont have so much power over your day to day experience. It's why prolonged exposure therapy is considered the gold standard for treatment. It can be rough to get through, but it works.

It's also why I get mad at people who try to negate other's feelings.

[samelton68 64]

for me I can't think of one specific food but being raised by my grandparents who had survived the dust bowl and those times, you had to clean your plate. I still have not been able to break this habit but now I take a lot smaller portions.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

What an old but interesting thread. The odd thing is I didn't eat unhealthy I just ate a LOT if it. My family cooked from scratch. We ate all sorts of vegetable baked and steamed as well as those cooked with fat back or neck bones. We NEVER ate any blue box crap, it was real mac and cheese with lots of butter, cream and cheese. Every meal was 2 types of meat, 2 veg, 2 starches. We had to eat veg and we could only drink Water with dinner, but there was always dessert.

snack were different. We weren't allowed soda. We would sometimes mix grape juice with soda Water and pretend we had soda. They gave us fruit. Especially apples with organic Peanut Butter. Sometimes Apple butter on rice cakes. This was before rice cakes were popular and they were literally just puffed rice baked. candy was that this honey and sesame seed confection. They were actually pretty tasty. We ate good food but the sheer volume was insane Our family's crab boils were legendary

In high school I ate like the typical high school student I bought my own food with my allowance. I developed a Pepsi addiction and my favorite snack was Doritos, a snickers with a Pepsi to chase it down. College was poor student fair. Lots of ramen and cheap food. Still Sunday dinners I knew I could gorge and I did.

When I had my initial consultation, I told my NUT I liked healthy foods as much as I like junk food. It took a few sessions for her to see what I was talking about.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I'm from a traditional Italian everything we cook is from scratch household. My mother is an excellent cook and I grew up eating healthy balanced meals, lots of salads and veggies but was always the only heavy kid. Maybe 5-10 lbs never more than that.

Even as an adult I'm the only one of my sibings who is overweight. My problems started in college with a crap diet, cheap food and I swear I lived on fried egg sandwiches on white bread. Cheap and cheerful! Lol

As an adult I know my problem is not so much what I eat but the amounts and I'm a picker. I will make a sandwich for lunch tomorrow but to fit it in the tupperware I need to cut off the bottom crust and I'm so tempted to eat that crust rather than throw it away! Mindless picking and Portion Control are my big issues...

[skinnyrita 188]

My mother and her mother lived through the depression years and they were Amazing Cooks. My grandmother canned fresh vegetables from her garden and fruit trees to get through the winters. Red Beans and corn bread, turnip greens, fried chicken, potatoes, and there was always dessert. Cobbler, cake or Cookies and bread. I wasn't that interested in cooking, until I was in my 40s and became obsessed with different cuisines,especially Italian food. That's when my weight became an issue and my health started to decline. High blood pressure, joint pain and other mobility issues came into the picture.

I was blessed to have good, mostly healthy foods in my childhood and I have great memories of helping my mom and grandmother in the kitchen. I still feel close to them even thoughI'm preparing much more sensible meals now.????????????