Not telling anyone

[finediva 979]

@BloomingLotus. I was faked niceness. I was standing in the lobby of my church. I really wanted to say, how rude of you. All that week I kept coming up with so many other replies example, I haven't seen you in a while, did you have a vasectomy? I wonder if he would of thought me inappropriate?

[BloomingLotus 179]

I definitely think of great comebacks after-the-fact.

I have been tempted to reply to the "have you lost weight?" question with "probably as much as you've gained this year" or "have you had a facelift?" But I just smile so far only 2 people were prying and the rest genuinely cared.

[ilikecake2much 65]

I don't even have a surgery date yet and I'm already wishing I didn't tell anyone. *sigh* I work with my Mom and she and I are very close. I talk everything through with her, so she has know my intentions from day 1. And she hates it. But it's my journey and my choice. But she basically told me who I had to tell, and she told me that I couldn't keep it a secret, implying that if I didn't tell people she would. Not cool Mom, not cool. So I told my bosses (a husband/wife couple) because I figured that I *couldn't* lie to them - gasp! Now I think why the hell couldn't I ?! Well, because Mom would have set them strait. My bosses are totally cool with it, and completely support it, BUT because they think it's a great idea, they don't understand me wanting to keep it quiet, and they have already told a couple of the guys we work with!! (We are a very close-knit, family like group) So the cats out of the bag. I have to just own it and kick butt. But I'm pretty pissed that I have such a big mouth.

[HawkFeather 2]

I'm having a hard time with this too. I don't remotely have a date yet but know this is the path and am trying to go through the process with all the patience I can muster. My closest friends and sister know and are really supportive. (Helps that one is a nurse). But I don't think I can handle telling my parents and certain others. I managed to lose about 75lbs over the last two years cutting out all soy and processed food but can't lose anymore and have been stuck for the better part of the last year. I don't want to be judged by people who have no idea what it's like to be trapped in a body you can't climb out of. I guess in the end it's my story to tell and my right to choose who's privy to it.

[Julie norton 2,850]

I didn't tell many people... Just a handful.. Even my adult children .

They knew I changed over the next year, but weren't overly curious..they knew I worked out frequently....

Even years later, my TT was explained as minor elective surgery.

The boys are busy with their own lives and it has been over 8 years and we have all just grown accustomed to the lighter me.

[SassyXray 14]

I know what you mean, I have no idea what to tell my co-workers. I work in a small doctors office we all get along well but I just don't want to hear their opinions. I have told my mom, husband, my kids (14 & 11) & 1 friend/co-worker. Everyone has been really support. I don't even think I will tell my dad until after the fact. We aren't very close. Maybe after the surgery I might change my mind since they will probably ask or maybe they will just keep the mouth shut! Lol!

[chunkyloverlovesyou 197]

I didn't tell my coworkers and I am always eating Atkins crap at my desk, they can derive my change in appearance to that.. I've lost 30 lbs and no one has noticed or cared. People do treat me with a little more respect though.....I kind of resent that

[HawkFeather 2]

@@finediva Wow do I get the church thing. I'm really into ministry as are my close friends who know and are supportive. But God bless them, there are some really clueless people out there. I made the mistake of asking my nurse friend a question without checking to see who was near by and this lady who has just started going to church pulls me aside to try to sell me weight-loss supplements! I was so angry but couldn't show it. I mean really...if you think I haven't tried every moronic gimic out there! No one just randomnly wakes up one morning and says, "Hey, I'd just love to have my stomach cut open and redesigned!" Definitely a mistake I will not be making again.

[pixieredhead 79]

I told people at my job cause I thought addressing it would cause less gossip than the unknown. So far everyone has been really supportive and happy for me. I also chose to only tell them after I had my surgery date that way there wasn't the constant "where's it gonna happen?" But I totally understand not telling people as well. I thought about both and am happy with my decision cause I felt like my co workers would be supportive and they were. I think the decision to tell is very much a case by case situation.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@megieg .... this is what i told another person that is concerned about what to say... remember, you own them NOTHING.... no explanation. it's none of there business. I felt the same way when i had surgery. That i had to hid what i was doing. And i did for a while, but jealousy got the best of a very close/co work and friend... and she ratted me out. Up to that point my standard answer to .... Wow, you have lost some weight, how did you do it, was..... I watch everything i eat, cut down my portions and started exercising..... which was the truth. and then i walked away.... unless it was one of the b*****s that use to say bad things about fat people, but who has now gained weight..... To them i would say... the same thing, but i added...Wow you have put on some pounds... what happened to you? Watch there face and the expression, flip my hair....and walk away.... boop!!

If you want it to stay a secret, tell no one.... and i mean no one. You think you can tell your closest friends/co workers.. But they will eventually talk. Especially if they are larger too. One day some one will say in passing.... did you see how great Meg is looking... and out it will come.... "i could lose weight too if i had WLS"... and there you go. The gossip will start and now you are exposed. If i could have gotten away without telling i would have gotten a cab home.

[finediva 979]

@bayougirlmrsc. Congrats on the loss. I agree with all you said. I'm keeping my secret...beyond the grave! Oh, I had a very distant friend drop me off at the hospital entrance and picked me up the same way. I nurse walked me down. She was so nice about it. The friend didn't ask about why I was there and I didn't volunteer. ...it was a man, so maybe he really didn't care or was afraid to ask in case it was something female related....haha.

[Pepper123 320]

I told only one person on my job..who i trust!!...i had surgery on a Tuesday back to work the following Monday!..I have a desk job...I told my job i was having hemorrhoids removed i did tell my sister regretted that bit and my best mate who did the surgery years ago.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@finediva you were right to trust a Male friend.... Female are gossips by nature. My self included..... lol Thanks for the compliment... my road has not been an easy one and is still very rocky. But that's another topic...

WLS and it's acceptance has come along way over the past years. Most people understand more, about WLS and don't look down on us as much.

[lisaanewme67 123]

I have definitely decided not to tell anyone about my surgery except my significant other, my 19 year old son and 1 close friend. Not telling mom until after its done, she is a worry-wart... I'm an only child with my mother so, lol.

As far as work, I am taking a week or two off and I will let my supervisor know that I need to be off for a medical procedure. For my nosey/concerned co-workers, I will not tell them anything other than I am out on medical. However, If I decided to offer and explaination, I like the hiatal hernia repair that someone used earlier.

[TN_Gal 15]

I told my immediate family (husband, brother, sister, mom, and dad). Besides my husband, I really wish I had kept my mouth shut and let them assume I was following a strict diet plan as I lost. I have, however, prepped my co-workers and church members slightly by letting them know I have been seeing a nutritionist that is helping me make healthier choices. That way, in a few months when I am much smaller, I can give all the credit to my nutritionist.