Hi everyone. Ok, so I had bypass 9 months ago and it's been the absolute best decision ever. I've lost 120# and have about 20 more to go. This has truly been a life saver! There is a morbidly obese man that works in my office complex. I see him every day huffing and puffing walking to and from the building. I so desperately want to strike up a conversation with him and tell him what I've done but I don't want to offend him. He's 500# + and I don't want to be rude, but I want him to know the amazing success I've had. When we are morbidly obese, we know were heavy, no one needs to remind us! But I wish someone would have encouraged me along the way. Which is what I want to do. Knowing what I know now about the health risks associated with obesity, I want to help educate. What are your thoughts? Would it be rude of me to tell him what I've done and learned or should I just leave him alone?

I don't think there would be any harm in talking to him. Your support could be the thing to change his life for the better. I never even considered this surgery for myself until a fellow struggler started talking to me about it.

Unfortunately, it is rude. If you already have a friendship with him and it came up in conversation, that's different but if you don't have an existing friendship with him, it's very uncomfortable. It really all depends on how you approach it but like I said, if you don't have a friendship with him and you have no intention of being friends, just for the sake of being friends, then it is rude. It's a tough call because I now wish I had known more about this before my weight got so far out of control!! But, if someone had approached me about it I would have died right then and there of humiliation, anger, and embarrassment!! It's on the level of someone thinking you are pregnant when you are really just overweight! It's humiliating and you can never take that back. If you have no intention of being this person's friend, then don't bring it up.

In my office there are two large men that are affected by their weight that they have to use CPAPs. They know losing weight will resolve this issue. And they know that WLS is an option. Both have said that they don't want to. This man very well may be aware and just doesn't want to make that step.

I'd say you can start a conversation with him about something non WLS. And if he brings up the fact that he's noticed you've lost a lot and wants to know what you did then you can bring it up. And if he asks more questions even better. But if he doesn't don't push it. WLS is not the answer for every overweight person.

In my office there are two large men that are affected by their weight that they have to use CPAPs. They know losing weight will resolve this issue. And they know that WLS is an option. Both have said that they don't want to. This man very well may be aware and just doesn't want to make that step.

I'd say you can start a conversation with him about something non WLS. And if he brings up the fact that he's noticed you've lost a lot and wants to know what you did then you can bring it up. And if he asks more questions even better. But if he doesn't don't push it. WLS is not the answer for every overweight person.

I totally agree with your approach. If he is anything like me, I would have been offended if someone that I don't know came up to me and started discussing weight loss options. If you don't know their state of mind at the current time it can make things worse.

I had to be absolutely ready for that discussion to go well. For me it was my nephrologist who asked me what my thoughts were right after I was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney disease. I was completely ready and had wished some of my others doctors had recommended it. Now, I will say that I was peeved that my other doctors did not mention it because I had been sick with comorbities for years and I was in fact ready for a long long time.

I like the suggestion of talking to him about other things and if he mentions that you look great, share your story. If he is interested, he will ask more.

Good luck!

I would say go for it. Most guys are raised with a thicker skin. So long as you are talking and focusing on your personal experiences (dieting, WLS and the effect on your health) and not lecturing him on his abundant weight, the conversation may be productive.

In my office there are two large men that are affected by their weight that they have to use CPAPs. They know losing weight will resolve this issue. And they know that WLS is an option. Both have said that they don't want to. This man very well may be aware and just doesn't want to make that step.

I'd say you can start a conversation with him about something non WLS. And if he brings up the fact that he's noticed you've lost a lot and wants to know what you did then you can bring it up. And if he asks more questions even better. But if he doesn't don't push it. WLS is not the answer for every overweight person.

Great points about a conversation.

There are plenty of folks who need CPAPs that aren't overweight.

Also.....losing huge amounts of weight doesn't ensure they'll be "cured".

I agree with the folks who suggested waiting until you have established a relationship with him before deciding whether it would be appropriate to share your story.

Why not smile and say "hi" next time you see him? Being friendly is a great way to break the ice.