Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

So I kept my surgery a secret. I wasn't ashamed but I just didn't want to deal with the people that didn't understand. So many people think it's the easy way out.

Well I had a close friend confront me about my weight loss. She said she "figured" it out. I told her the truth but now she isn't talking to me and said I was a liar...along with some other hurtful things. It's been a month and she has all but written me off. I'm having a hard time shaking it off. It really upsets me. Anyone else have friends turn on you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't lose what you never had. I believe this incident located this person in your life. Obviously not in friend category. Be glad you found out. You owe nobody anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, it just really gets under my skin. I think I already knew in my heart she wasn't a friend. This just confirmed it, but it still hurts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of these "friends" are weird.

They act like betrayed lovers.

So weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it must be... But Just keep moving forward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She was not a friend. Friends support you and respect your decisions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So you lost a couple hundred pounds fast! Victory!!!

She wasn't a friend. Go out and make some real ones. :D

OMG this made me LOL!!! Thanks for that I needed it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What would make her think you owe her any sort of explanation about your health or weight? I suppose if she really cared and felt close to you, then it might make sense to wonder why you chose not to say anything....but given the fact that you didn't feel like you could mention it, you obviously did not really think of her in that light, anyway. You felt like you couldn't trust her, which proved to be true.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

That does make it rough. Maybe she will quit and make your life easier. If you didn't have to see her every day, it would sure make it easier to write her off - where she belongs. Her behavior is really out of line. I would just be professional toward her and let it be HER problem, because it clearly is. You need your energy to focus on your health and weight loss, not for such negativity. Leave that to her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That does make it rough. Maybe she will quit and make your life easier. If you didn't have to see her every day, it would sure make it easier to write her off - where she belongs. Her behavior is really out of line. I would just be professional toward her and let it be HER problem, because it clearly is. You need your energy to focus on your health and weight loss, not for such negativity. Leave that to her.

She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her, she thought we were better friends than that. You're right, I think I didn't tell her because I knew she wasn't a true friend. I just need to let it go, it's just hard. We work together and I have to see her everyday.

Are you sure you were friends in the first place or just close in associations because you worked together? Answering that question may be able to help you grieve over a lost miss represented "relationship." I've always kept it in the back of my mind that the people that I work with are colleagues, nothing more and nothing less. You made the decision to better your health and life, obviously she isn't being positive or motivating. You're not benefiting from her professional or personally... keep it professional from here on out. The more personal it gets the more the struggle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She doesn't sound like a true friend. All my friends have been very supportive even if they didn't agree with my decision.

It's times like these that you find out who your true friends really are. She is not one of them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry you have to go through that, I know it can be hard. My 2 best friends felt like I didnt care for their opinion, in her words, "It sounds like you're telling us this just to tell us not because you want our opinion and you dont care how we feel." It made me mad that theu weren't supportive at first but come to find out they were just incredibly worried about me going to Mexico for surgery by myself. On a sad note she isnt talking to me anymore either, her loss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×